Tip # 97 Frugal fixes; Wave it Away

     Wave what away? Here's the skinny on it - er, should I say "Here's the skin on it?" Yep, I'm talking about skin care. Why? Whether a minor issue or a major one, skin difficulties are common during the recovery process. In the near future I will be addressing bedsores, and other medical skin related issues. Today though, I'm simply addressing something common to many but more prevalent in illness: crazy dry skin. Nope, simply saying dry skin doesn't cover it… I mean crazy dry skin. What's the deal?

• Lots of medications "dry you out," as they say; dry your mouth, dry your skin, give you dry eyes… hopefully you don't have to take said meds indefinitely. If it's too bothersome, ask your pharmacist/physician if there are other options available.
• Dehydration and dry skin go hand in hand - and if you are not feeling well, and/or you are nauseated and/or you don't have much energy or ability to ambulate, you may have to get creative about making sure you're getting enough water. Make drinking a priority.
• Ironically, showing or bathing too often also dries your skin out - but only if you're bathing too often, and/or staying in the bath too long (it would be helpful if "too often" and "too long" had an exact definition, but apparently it's different for everyone)… The hitch is that sometimes you end up bathing more often and for a longer time (like soaking in the tub for an hour each night to reduce pain in addition to your regular morning shower, etc). Lather up with cream when you get out if you can - if you're still a little wet when you apply it, that's even better.
• If you've had a cast on your leg for 6 weeks, you'll see that presto-magico you have a shrivelled muscle (complete with a very hairy leg I might add!) and very dry, very flaky, and very sensitive skin. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to prevent this, but there is a help to treat it - it's the wave.

     What wave? The Neutrogena wave. I LOVE it! I'm not one to spend a ton of money on beauty products, but frankly, I would spend money on this if I had too! Due to my meds, my dehydration, and other factors, my skin feels as dry as mud - until I use my wave. You put a little round pad on the wave, wet it, and turn it on; it vibrates as it gently exfoliates. The mud that is my face becomes silky smooth. It also works on the scrawny hairy leg that comes out of the cast, and makes the leg feel better too. It's amazing really. In all the years I've been ill and on drying meds, I have never found anything quite so lovely for my skin. And, it's cheap. And the refill pads are cheap too.
     So, it doesn't fit or fix every dry skin situation, but the wave sure does make a difference. And, face it, if there is something inexpensive that is going to make you feel more human in this whole crazy recovery situation, that's fantastic! Lastly, it turns out that if you have a little one in your life (like my 1 year old Ms. M), if you turn the wave on and put it on a hard surface in front of them, the vibrating wave will bounce around and make a fun noise and result in much awe and many giggles. Can't beat that!
  
Happy waving away!

Tip #55 Christmas Prep III; No Bumbling, Just Stumbling

     I don't know about you, but we usually do a lot of visiting with family and friends over the holidays. And, whether you are going out to visit, or others are coming to your house - there's always one thing that happens - conversation. Yep, conversation. And whats the problem with that? There isn't one… unless of course you don't have anything interesting, anything current, or anything appropriate to converse about. No, I don't think that you've suddenly become inept at conversation - but, I think perspective can get skewed when one is in the midst of recovery. At the risk of being offensive I'll say it this way; just because you live and breathe recovery and can be consumed with it doesn't mean that everyone wants to hear about every itty-bitty detail. Your health or caregiving shouldn't be the focus of your time together. But, there is a place for it too, and it is relevant to you - so you don't have to avoid talking about - it's just good to be a well-rounded conversationalist:)
   For instance, I'm not trying to say that you can't discuss how you are - but I am suggesting that there is more to you than this illness, and it would be great if you could share those other parts of you with others. Furthermore, and now I'm going to be really bossy here - you need to have a vacation from the illness stuff! Take a break from living and breathing recovery, and focus on what's going on in the lives of your loved ones. Try to initiate conversations about interesting or funny things. You might not be able to eat or drink, but the merry part… it's possible.
    Now, you may say "sure Val, but I have no idea what is going on in the world; the current events in my world right now are focusing on trying to have a bowel movement or celebrating happy blood results." And, well, fair enough. I used to watch the news or read the newspaper each day, and always thought it was odd to encounter others who didn't. Now however, I don't. And I don't expect you to either. Neither are we out and about doing other normal things like: seeing fashion trends (I just learned that leg warmers are back "in"), the price of milk (though I can tell you the price of my expensive medications), or the new building that has gone up downtown (that would require getting downtown - and who has the time or energy for that when you're so ill or caring for someone thereof!).
     So, what's left then? If you are devoting your time right now to getting better and letting other things slide until you are well enough to continue, then how on earth are you supposed to come up with something to talk to others about once you're done talking about them, the weather, and your progress? And, if you are saying "Val, what the heck are you talking about - I never run out of things to talk about, and why do you think someone's world is going to be affected by illness that much so that any of the above is possible?" To that I say - it's great that that is not an issue for you, but I have seen so many clients struggle with this, that it seems difficult to imagine that this is not almost always the case. That's great if this is not an issue you struggle with. For others who do resonate with what to talk about, I have a suggestion; start stumbling, not bumbling.
     Huh? Well, sometimes I feel like a bumbling fool when someone asks me what I think about a current event (tragedy, celebration, or anything else for that matter). Not only do I not have an opinion about it - sometimes I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about!  Obviously no one (including myself) is totally oblivious, but still….
     So, this is where the stumbling part comes in. I found an app; Stumble upon. I love it! And, I just discovered that it's not only an app, but something you have access to on your computer too. It's very cool. Here's how it works:

• You go to the Stumble Upon website, and sign up for free (click here)
• The app asks you to check off subjects you find interesting (i.e. cooking, photography, current events, art, medicine, etc)
• Once that's done, you are ready to stumble upon some pretty cool things. All you do is press the "stumble" button, and presto-magico you have random interesting things to think about, laugh about, and talk about, and more 
• For example, you press stumble, and up comes:
• A video of a dog salsa dancing on 2 legs to salsa music
• An article about an advance in cancer research
• A beautiful picture of a child, or a glacier, or mountains
• An inspirational "life story" about someone who has overcome much 
• Tips on how to groom your pet
• An article about the guy (name slips my mind just now) that spends millions and millions of dollars making art with fabric; he made central park orange with his talent, and now he wants to cover the Nile with blue fabric I think (obviously I can't remember the details  at the moment - but when it was fresh in my mind I enjoyed talking to others about it), and/or
• A recipe for apple strudel with pumpkin for example.

     Well, you get gist. If you didn't select cooking on your checklist in the beginning, it's not likely (though not impossible) that you would "stumble upon" the recipe, or no dog video if you didn't check pets….).
     So, just a few more notes:

• You can "save" your favourites, and look at them again at any time
• You don't have to give them all your info when you sign up - so look carefully to see only the required items.
• You can "follow" people who have chosen to allow others to see their lists of cool things, but decide whether or not you want others to be able to follow you - and then make sure you've set up your account accordingly
• You can go back and change the interests that you originally checked off, (or didn't check off but wish you had)

     It's fun, and it's easy, and I hope you try it out (and hope even more that you like it). It's also a great distraction to help you get your mind off your pain when it's bad!  And, even if you don't use it for the purpose of communicating with others, but just for entertaining yourself, that's still a great thing, and it's a good break from recovery, even if only for a few minutes at a time. It's also evidence that the outside world still exists. I'm sure there are other such apps that would be applicable to this situation, this just happens to be the one I found, and enjoy. It's an unusual way to prepare for Christmas I know - but there is nothing about experiencing recovery without encountering the "unusuals" - so maybe it's not so unusual after all...
     Merry Christmas to you and yours - I hope your days are filled with blessings, energy, and friends, family, laughter and love, and great conversation too! ;P

Happy Christmas Prepping to Stumble not Bumble!

Tip #443 Choosing Cheer; Looking Out, Random Style

     If I were to ask you how you felt about being ill/injured, or what kind of demand it is on you to be a caregiver for a severely injured ill/person, what would you say? Would you say "Wow, this is the best life I've ever ever had, it's exactly what I dreamed about growing up?" Hmmmm, something tells me that will not be your first thought. And that's okay. Truly. It is hard.
     What would your first thought be then? Well, frankly it doesn't take all that much imagination to guess…. While we can learn to be content whatever our circumstances, while God's grace can be truly enough, while quality of life is possible in nearly any circumstance - even if not in conventional ways - sometimes it just feels like this whole mess of health stuff stinks. It really stinks. To say it's hard is the understatement of the century for many. It can feel like there is nothing left - no energy, no motivation, and certainly no desire to add more to our plates. The reality though is that that kind of thinking doesn't get us anywhere; acknowledging it is good, wearing it as a badge of identity is not all that conducive to cheer. You know what is conducive to cheer? Providing cheer. Yes, I know I just talked about having little energy at the moment, but stay with me for a minute or two…
     I am a woman blessed in so many ways, and have received kindness in the most unexpected places. I have been on both sides of the whole "Random Acts of Kindness" movement, and they are both especially amazing sides to be on. It doesn't take much to be kind, but it takes much (if not impossible) to forget about a kindness given to you. In no way do I want to toot my own horn, but here's a little opportunity that came up for me this week. There was an ET (not extra terrestrial… enterostomal) nurse here the other day to change out my feeding tube. ET nurses deal with holes (like a stomach hole that fits a feeding tube) and wounds (sometimes they're much like holes…) amongst other things. One of the tools she loves to use is honey. A specific kind of medical honey actually. There will be a post on the medical use of honey in wound care coming very soon, but for now allow me to say that there is a specific kind of honey that prevents (and assists in treating) infections, and has no equal when it comes to other specific kind of wound care issues. On this particular visit the nurse was interested in my brand of honey - as it was different brand and medium than what she uses in community.
     She explained to me that the type and consistency I use, paired with the method required for its use, is significantly cheaper than the current conventionally used brand (and method) in our medical community. Based on what she said, I calculated that my version (a $35 bottle for 40 doses) is significantly cheaper than the $50 version used in community for 8 doses. She told me that there is a woman she treats who desperately needs the honey treatments, else she has to continue with getting a few inches of scarring scraped from her wound each nursing visit. However, because she cannot afford the honey, and neither can she get the honey covered, once the sample she was able to get was finished, her wound was brutal again, and the scraping is the only option. Needless to say, I gave the nurse one of my bottles for her other patient (and since mine is covered, I have written the insurance company a $35 cheque).
     Amazing? No. It's a small kindness that will make a big difference. Exhausting? No; not physically, not emotionally, not hard at all. Requiring much planning? No. That wasn't possible - I didn't know of the opportunity until I was in it. It was an easy thing to do. And it was (mostly) random. And you know what? My heart is lighter.
     It is too easy to turn into ourselves, feel more introverted, and for some, to call "uncle" because we've had enough, and climb into the pit of despair. Severe illness or trauma, and caring for someone thereof can unfortunately do strange things to people… It can draw focus in, instead of encouraging one to look out. So, again, I suggest choosing cheer. Look and do something outside of yourself, despite the health of yourself or a loved one.
     I know it sounds easier to say than to do, but small things can make a huge difference. And, the small things - like smiling at someone or telling them they are doing a good job - are more than possible to carry out.. Maybe you'll find that if you build on the small things - well, then maybe they'll add up to a plethora of joy and cheer for you. That's the way it works for me. Click here to see some examples about how fun random acts of kindness can be; it's on a blog about making life beautiful and random acts of kindness definitely qualify.

Happy looking out!
 

Tip #352 Frightening Fear; Scarred by Scars

     Okay, I keep trying to think of a diplomatic way to say this, but I can't seem to get it right, so bare with me as I say - People can get all nutty about scars. Scars? "What is there to be nutty about you say?" Okay, if that's actually what you are saying, then don't bother reading the rest of this post. Congratulations on overcoming such a beast as not caring about scars. For the rest of the world,  if you'd like to discuss the illogical nuttiness that can ensue when people look at their scars, then read on:)

As an aside I'd like to acknowledge that when I am talking about scars, I speak out of experience as I have them all over me, (close to 40 incisions in all). But, I am not a burn victim or totally disfigured - and I do not mean to belittle or minimize what someone would have to go through in such circumstances. I am not writing about anything so devastating as that. Thanks. 


     I know that scars have been the topic of conversation - and often of consternation around certain times of the year; bathing suit season, wedding season, and the season we are experiencing now… Christmas. Of course, the link is that on these occasions a) you want to look your best for the gatherings  included in such seasons, and b) you are often wearing clothes that may expose your scars more. Granted this isn't nearly as likely if you are a man, but if you are not, then I'm guessing that you know what I am talking about….

    When it comes to being wise, my hubby is amazing. About scars he says "Who cares what people think?" and I am in total agreement. We should boldly accept that stance.

Very wise guy.

Absolutely right.

If only we were capable.

     Unfortunately, we women as a whole tend to be incapable of completely abandoning the desire to stop caring about what people think, especially what they might think about us or our family. Some are better than others and some, well, not so much. And no offence meant if you are a woman and have never and will never feel this way. If this is you - please share:) As a whole, I wouldn't say that I am terrible at this, but I am a work in progress - and sometimes that process is a slow one. Still, I do think that it's possible to care less and less about the scars over time - but only with good intention. How?
By introducing logic to emotion. Huh?
     I have a friend who says that logic and emotions are often like ships passing in the night.... I agree. Upon reflection, it seems to me that the two ships really are totally oblivious to each other's presence. So I ask this, if the goal is to have the two coexist peacefully, how do you form a good bond with someone you never see, never meet, and try not to bump into in the dark? Kind of tricky if you ask me. Not so good. So why not start there - introduce the two and get them to start hanging out together. I want them to be able to cross paths safely and peacefully, with respect. I know we don't always get what we want, but why not aim high? That's great Val, but how does that work exactly? And what does it have to do with scars? Finally, here's the point:)
     When I am personally feeling insecure about scars (or body changes related to illness), I introduce or reintroduce logic to emotion by reminding (and sometimes reciting) myself certain truths. For example, I think:

• They're scars. Nothing More. They don't make me a monster - no matter how people may react to them. And by the way - if we're doing a reality check, people don't tend to me feel like a monster. A lot of people stare, an sometimes I think it would truly be better for them to take a picture they are staring at it so hard! Still, not many notice, and very few comment. It's a bigger deal to me than to them. That's a good reminder too.  
• They are also a good reminder that I can do anything. After all, scars mean that you have endured something… you've overcome something worth overcoming…
• They are a rite of passage - a coming of age of sorts remind you that you are now wiser and stronger. It's like looking at stretch marks after a woman has a child, and wearing them as marks of valour, of motherhood, and triumph, and sacrifice and more. Why? cause the statements are true, but it's not the common observation. Still, it's true.
• Scars don't define you - you define you
• Beauty starts from the inside and works its way out - not the other way around (at the risk of sounding cliche).
• if someone can't handle seeing your scars, they should close their eyes. It's their problem to fix should they choose to do so - not yours. I repeat:) It's their issue.

     Maybe your truths will be different than mine. And maybe they will be truths about other more important issues; not scars. Still, I think the process is a good one (if I do say so myself:P). But we are not done yet. A meeting - by definition - is never complete until the second party has joined the foray! So, the next step? I introduce or reintroduce emotion to logic by acknowledging the icky-ness of it, and giving myself permission to feel icky about it. Why? Because you can't keep it all in. This is what I say to logic:

• Emotions are meant to be experienced… BUT (an important but), you don't get anywhere by dwelling on such things. Set a time limit if you need to, and plan to move forward
• Don't be harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else. You are as human as they
• The anxiety of something to occur is usually worse than the anxiety when it occurs. Once that "meeting" is complete, the icky things don't seem to have such power. 
• Love should never be anything but unconditional, and the same is true with respect to beauty

     I've gone back and reread this post and I am feeling fairly conflicted. It seems silly to me to have to go through all of those things to get past scars. I want to say "get over yourself" to myself!  If you're anything like me, then you don't let scars dictate how you live your life, so why are you writing tomes of info about scars and how to get over them?  I think part of the truth of it all is not so much the appearance of scars, but what they mean to us in the inside; a reminder of mortality, of trauma, of vulnerability, of imperfection, of hard things and of limits, of change, and so much more. Scars are an easy focus, and on top of it they remind us we are flawed. Unless we're only totally shallow - but I think that's a cop out. No, I don't think it's vain to get stuck on that for a bit -it's a feeling of loss that should be acknowledged. 

      Just don't forget to put it all into perspective. I know it's challenging when scars contribute to making us feel as though we appear flawed, not just that we are flawed and that some scars are more uncomfortable than others for different reasons, but perspective is important. Get rid of the magazine covers, stop doing the infinite amount of over-analyzing (which I'm clearly doing now), and accept what is true. There is so much more to life that can so easily be missed when we get hung up on things like scars.

     I don't even know how to end this post except to say, I am clearly one of the nutty ones when it comes to scars, even though I feel as though I'm past the distress of mine… I guess it's fair to say that for the most part scars and I have come to an understanding. I acknowledge their presence, I see their positive effects, I respect the emotions they evoke, and I use logic to keep from obsessing about them. In turn, they accept that I don't like them. And if that's not nutty I don't know what is! I guess that if nuttiness and scars were ships, they'd not pass in the night - they'd declare war. 

     In closing I will say that if you can relate to any of this post at all then know you are not alone, even if you are as nutty as me. LOL! And in the mean time I invite you to join my quest in getting logic and emotion to meet peacefully in all areas of life - not just about scars….

Happy nutty un-nutty-ing!

     

Tip #11 Bibs and Bobs; The Hokey Pokey

     "You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out, you put your right foot in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, and that's what it's all about…." - the Ram Trio 

When I was little, I used to love that song. Unfortunately I can't say that it improved my right and left decifering skills all that much (I might be hopelessly inept that way), but it was such a fun song to sing and dance to, that it has stayed with me all of these years. And what does that have to do with anything recovery related?

     Well, it all boils down to one thing… 

Don't do the hokey pokey so you can do the hokey pokey. 

Huh? Allow me to explain. The first part of the above sentence is figurative, and the latter is literal. Lets start with the figurative part first.

How you ever noticed how slippery ice and snow can be? Of course you have. I'd bet that you have especially noticed this when sprawled on your back with one foot in the car and the other under it. Not so fun I know. Here's my big tip towards preventing that in the future: remember the words to the hokey pokey, and imagine something hokey poking you should you put those words into action when you are entering a car in winter. Why?
Well, have you ever noticed that when people talk about hurting themselves when getting into their car that their story begins with "I put my right foot in, and was getting the rest of my body in the car when I slipped..." Or, "I put my foot into the car, but just on the edge so that I could bend down and brush the snow off before getting the rest of the way into the car..." It's a common thing though, as movements involving rotation of the back - especially reflex postural ones (when your body is responding to the falling threat) are big culprits of back pain and injury. This is true even if you haven't actually fallen. When you are putting just one foot in the car, you are making your back do a rotational movement and so it doesn't take much for things to go wrong.
Also, you know that when the movies show cars riding on two wheels it's clear that it's more perilous than with all four wheels on the ground? It doesn't always result in damage but the potential is there in a large way? Well, the same can be said for getting into the car the way most people do (foot then bum while twisting,then other foot). If you add to that the big risk of falling in general given pronounced weakness or instability that may be present as a result of your current health status - well, in that case you are just asking for trouble.

So then, what do we do? Refuse to go anywhere that involves traveling by car in the winter? No, of course not!!!! But, there is a fairly easy remedy; put your bum in the car first. What? With both feet on the ground, face the driver seat with your bum. When you feel the seat at the back of your knees, plop your bum down. Watch your head if you are not used to getting in this way:). Now, once your bum is in, brush the snow off your legs to your heart's content and then bring your legs around carefully, turning your body all at once.Take the same precautions on your way out, remembering to scoot your bum to the edge of the seat before trying to stand (for better control and balance). Don't forget to ask your physician or physiotherapist before changing the way that you do something like this to ensure it is the right thing for you.
Of course this all gets trickier when we look at how big and high off the ground so many of today's vehicles are, but the same principles apply (i.e.turn your entire body towards the open car door, and put both feet on the ground before standing). You may need a little extra help from someone until you have it working smoothly, (or indefinitely if needed, but let's focus on the "till smoothly" plan). Still, there is no shame in asking for help. I'm sure that even if you didn't want to have to inconvenience your spouse or other caregiver at all by always asking for assistance for this, they'd be a whole lot happier assisting you in/out of a vehicle safely than having you in copious amounts of pain and doing another hospital trip too). Otherwise, you may find that many large vehicles have running boards and other aids to help people get into big vehicles, but be careful because they can also be a challenge in terms of balance for some. Ask for help if you need it, and, obviously, don't if you don't, and always ask for a spotter if you just aren't sure.
Okay, so, winding things up I say this: don't enter your vehicle all hooky-poke-i-ly-like by sticking a leg in, or putting it back in and out to brush off the snow. Instead, lead with your bum. Now you can brush off snow to your hearts content, and then turn your whole body in to face the steering wheel. It isn't hard, it's just hard to remember to do sometimes.
And the literal part of the hokey pokey I mentioned? Well, if you are putting the suggested methods above into place, you stand not only a better chance of feeling better, stronger, and in less pain than if you had added a fall to your current medical state, but it might actually be possible to do something fun in the absence of a fall. Like what you ask? Like finding a child(ren) you love and doing the REAL hokey pokey with them. What better gift can you give yourself than that of doing silly and fun things with a child? And don't forget to laugh while you are doing the actions with them, "'cause that's what it's all about!"

Happy bum leading!

<

Tip #215 Emergency Eventualities; Grab & Go Bags

     Have you ever heard of the "Grab and Go" bag? You know - the bag that every individual should have beside their bed or the door so that you can grab it on your way out of the house in emergencies (like natural disasters)? Well, I do think they are handy to have, but confess that I haven't been the best about making sure we always have such an animal on hand. What I do make sure we have in hand though is the Stampin' Bag.
     The Stampin' Bag? Yep. See, I love to stamp (as in making cards and such), and I was given a special bag from our local Stamping Store to use as my Grab and Go bag. Thanks Scribe's Nook! What's the difference? Well, instead of the standard items in a Grab bag like a flashlight, money, keys, and a bottle of water, we fill the bag with medical items that we would need in a hurry. For instance, we have packed everything you need to change a dressing, a day's worth of medication, a garbage bag, health card, a "911 sheet" (discussed in another post; has all medications (including the dose), allergies, any diagnoses, personal info (address, birth date etc), and the medical team info (name and contact for all physician's, specialists, case manager, involved in care) to start. Don't forget to think of your caregiver, and include little treats, maybe a book and a bottle of water for them and money for parking or lunch for your them too... The list is endless, and the contents are subject to change as your health changes. Oh, speaking of changes, a change of clothes (undies and tank top or t-shirt for sure) in case you get admitted, etc.) is a great thing to take too.
     Because I really can't help myself leave it at that, allow me to suggest some of the logistical niceties. I would suggest you consider:

• Buying a craft bag to contain it all:
• They have a very very large number of compartments
• Most compartments are transparent so you're not digging through everything constantly
• Most craft bags open to lay flat - very handy under the circumstances
• They have a great strap and are quite durable
• Next, I would suggest organizing the bag in these ways:
• Not necessarily grouping like items together, but complimentary items instead. For instance, if for your dressing change you need a couple of gauze 2x2's, a dressing, sterile water, etc, then put it all together, instead of in all separate places
• Labeling the above bags with their purpose (transfer bag, caregiver bag, medication bag). If you write it in marker on paper, and then tape the paper down by covering it entirely with packing tape it will keep it indestructible (or nearly so), and is easy to reuse
• Writing how much of each item you use in said bags above (ie. dressing change requires 3 dressings, 4 packages gauze, etc), so that next time you restock your bag you don't have to do any thinking - you are just referring to it to see what's in the bag compared to what is labelled on the bag
• Make a note of items you need to grab and stash in your bag right before you leave
• Anything you need from the fridge but can't pack because it's perishable
• Anything you need on a day to day basis (like blood glucose monitor) that you should bring, but need to keep out for convenience
• Punch a hole in the grab and stash sheet and tie or tape it to the Grab and Go bag so that you are ready in an instant whilst having all you need with you
• Make point of updating the bag once a month:
• Replace any items that are expired
• Update your emergency sheets and personal info
• Replace any items you've used

     Of course, your Grab and Go bag should be tailored to your needs. Maybe you need less of an emergency bag, and more of a "I'll be admitted to hospital regularly" bag, that has clothes, and books and toiletries instead. I've used it regularly as an "appointment bag" when we know we'll be gone for hours and hours. Many have asked me "Won't the hospital/clinic give you those things?" and perhaps you are asking that as well. The truth is, in most instances, they will NOT give you such things. Why? Aside from the obvious medical oddity items being difficult to provide for you if they are not used at that particular institution, there are liability issues. If you are an outpatient, it is more likely than not that no one will want to take responsibility for your primary care needs - so it's best that you bring what you need. If they decide to grant your request at any time - well, lets call this a bonus, and not an expectation to be safe. Hope that's helpful!

Happy packing!

Tip #99 Bibs and Bobs; Christmas Prep II: Shop with No Drop

    Yes, I know it's supposed to be "Shop till you drop" not "with no drop," but my best guess is that you already have dropped.  Well, you know what I mean… If you are someone who is recovering at home or caregiving for someone thereof, there are many barriers to celebrating the holidays, and for celebrating others too. Part I of Christmas Prep (click here) talks about our expectations about Christmas and prioritizing that which is most special as well as some ideas about how we celebrate it (and how we communicate with loved ones about how we celebrate it).
     Today's post, (Part II of Christmas Prep) addresses other ways to buy presents from home for those of you who do exchange gifts. Being 100% bedridden for the last few years, I have had to be creative about doing my Christmas shopping. Well, but, bedridden or not, if you are healing or taking care of a loved on (or both), your ability to go out and about may be compromized, and getting around a large mall can be near to impossible at times. Given that, here are a few general tips about shopping on line:

• Before ordering anything online, check the 
• Site Location: Are you on the right site? I've been on amazon.com instead of amazon.ca (US vs. Canada), gotten excited about my purchase, and then realized that I couldn't get it in Canada. 
• Delivery Time: Will it get there in time for Christmas  (sometimes it's in the fine print), and does that still apply if you live in a rural location (another lesson learned….)
• Delivery Fees: A lot of companies will advertise free delivery, but sometimes this only applies to:
• Gifts reaching a target total (free if you spend $35 or more…)
• Gifts with a certain criteria of availability (if you want the packages of your multiple package order to arrive as the items are available it's free, but if you want it all at once, it's not (and sometimes it's the reverse that's true)).
• People who select that option. I'm sorry to say I've fallen prey to this a couple of times. I'm excited that my order "qualifies" for free shipping, but when we get to the part about shipping, I don't actually select this shipping version, and so I end up with a delivery cost.
• Delivery Specifics: For us, packages arrive at the post office, and the post office is only open at certain times (we live in a rural location). So, although someone guarentees they can get it to you for the 24th, is your post office open on the 24th?
• Delivery Progress: Can you track the delivery online? It's reassuring to know where it is! 
• Return Policies: Make sure:
• You know who is supposed to pay the postage for something you have to return; you or them?
• For many products if you open the box, but don't like what you got, it is not returnable. It's only returnable if you haven't open the box, or you have and the product is defective.
• If you've paid any other way than by VISA or MasterCard, make sure that it does not effect your ability to get a return
• Payment Method: Do you trust the site in question? Do you trust your computer's security abilities? A good idea is to set up a PayPal account or something similar (so you are not giving each and every vendor your credit card). It's very easy, very secure, and quick to set up.
• Places to consider ordering: I've had success with all of the following:
• Amazon (Again, just make sure you're on the site for the country in which you live)
• Super speedy delivery
• Free delivery options
• Lots of variety (not just books!)
• Gifts for all price points
• Certificates available
• Blurb (a fun and easy to use photo book company)
• Very reasonable prices
• Your photos, arranged by you, or by them, or electronically (instantly)
• Speedy affordable delivery
• Great price points, lots of options
• Certificates available
• Choccreate (Amazing chocolate bars that you design, they make) I love this!!
• Small company with great personal touch
• Good quality chocolates, and you add fruits, spices, even bacon….)
• Very affordable, very yummy, very unique
• Great delivery times
• Certificates available
• Old Navy (Clothing Store)
• This is new to me and I just ordered, and it was great
• Lots of great sale sections
• Free delivery options
• Great price points
• Infants and up
• Apple (If you are just tuning in, I'm an apple-a-holic)
• Lots of selection, though a lot of it expensive!
• Great delivery
• Staples (yep, the office supply store)
• Geeks like me love office supplies
• Cute little girl gifts (like a stick-it-note pad that is pink, and hanging out a a purse, which doubles as a paperweight)
• Lots of candy gifts (especially nice at Christmas!)
• Love their delivery, return, and speedy service!
• Lots of games for the gamers in your life

     So, there you have it. Yes, I know some of those sites are common to many, and yet I am constantly amazed that so many people I know are intimidated about ordering online, or who have never considered that doing so is an option. I have also been told that some of it stems from not knowing someone who has been to that particular site, or shopped online at all and succeeded. Fair enough. But, sometimes it's worth it to try - just mind the pitfalls noted above wherever you shop.  In my experience, the stores above have been fantastic - you just have to think out of the box a bit (like getting a little girl present at an office supply store). 

     Can you see why I say shop with no drop? It is truly possible to give unique gifts (I highly recommend blurb and choccreate for that), and the popular items that so many ask for too, without having to leave your house! That's my kind of shopping!

Happy ordering!

  

Tip #427 Wise Words Wednesday; The Power of the Past

Do you ever feel like you are defined by the serious illness and/or trauma that you or a loved one have experienced? It is easy to feel that way, and it is very common to feel that way too. Society has a habit of traveling to places like "Comparison Boulevard" where everyone is valued by their abilities (or lack thereof) rather than for who they are at their core. Not only do we often do this to each other, but we also do it to ourselves as well. Once we do that, we can find ourselves believing that that valuation is truly the case. Not good.
But, we can't go back and make all the trauma not happen, even though we stubbornly hate to admit it sometimes - like when we get stuck in the "if only" scenarios. I have caught myself saying "in my other life before the accident I could..." or "Well, back in real life..."
Whether you were a bus boy or the president, or a carpenter or a stockbroker, it is hard to escape the past. Whether it is hard because:
A) All the loss surrounding (and resulting from) the trauma itself is still ongoing or fresh in the mind for any reason
B) the inability to feel valued because others cannot see what you used to be able to do vs. What you can currently do, or may never be able to do again, or
C) the belief that you need to prove your worth to yourself because what you can offer the world is so different from that which you were either already doing or trying to do..... the result is unrest, unease, and heartache... We should not be defined by what we can or cannot do, but who we are. If only that was a more common thought.
I really believe that if we can only accept that our value is hinged to our performance, then whatever diminishes said performance (like trauma), makes it nearly (or entirely) impossible to move forward in big ways. You can't fix or change the past, and it's alreaddy had its " fun" with you, so why give it one more minute worth of a hold on you and your ability to move forward. And yes, i do know that's easier said than done - i have struggled with this myself on many occasions. I refuse to let it define me entirely, and it is only by faith that I am ever able to do so. It is not a walk in the park to choose this stance, but, for me at least, it is less painful in the grand scheme of things.
This quote says it all for me.

Your past is just a story. And once you realize this, It has no power over you. - Chuck Palahniuk

Happy overpowering!

Tip #457 Bibs and Bobs; Christmas Prep I: Great Expectations

     Here we are nearly at the end of November - how on earth did that happen? Know what that means? Well, if you're at home because you are recovering or caregiving for someone recovering, the end of November might mean something different to you than to someone else… and that might be stressing you out. And, that's not good. 

     Yes, of course we're talking about Christmas. I know that Christmas means something different to everyone, and that other cultures celebrate different things at different times, but I celebrate Christmas so I will speak to Christmas. For us, Christmas truly is the center of our faith (we believe Jesus was born on this day, for the whole world). Having said that, we also like to celebrate with those we love and appreciate greatly, and we do this with gifts (gifts we buy, and gifts we don't). And, as I am sure  you know - that isn't easy if you're home and not able to be out and about, or lacking energy, time, and resources.

    Have no fear, though, there are some ways to make a cheerful Christmas a little easier. It all ends and ends with Expectations. Great Expectations - and not the Charles Dickens kind either. No, I didn't mean begins and ends, I truly meant ends and ends. I don't know if you've noticed, but many people (especially women - I'm allowed to say it because I am one:)) expect the unattainable no matter how able-bodied they are. And that just isn't good for anyone. But if you have reasonable (and I really do mean reasonable!), attainable, practical expectations, you're not so focused on what's not working out, and that leaves you the ability to actually experience the joy in it all - especially in what is working out (like having fun). How is this possible? Well, it starts with a state of mind I think. Consider the following:  

• Of course, the top tip is to consider what the day means for you and how you want to celebrate it. Is it about the gifts only, or is it about family, faith, a combination thereof or something else entirely? 
• If all that matters to you is that you spend time with those you love, maybe have a meal together, go to church together, sing carols in your living room, or order Chinese and play board games together. But don't forget to communicate and compromise…
• BIG HINT (re the compromise, the communications, and your expectations): Your loved ones love you (obviously), so don't get bogged down because they and you have not been discussing the details! If you are recovering, or you are taking care of someone recovering, logic and love says to them that you might not want everyone at your house. In the mean time, if your great expectation is that they will come to you of course - since you can't go to them. Or, perhaps you figure one day of exhaustion is worth it for this occasion, no matter the consequences (like needing to sleep for a week). Logic and love don't always go hand in hand the way everyone thinks they should. Don't be shy; discuss the details. You'll be thankful you did! And, hopefully, with good communication a good compromise can be agreed upon - whatever that looks like in your family.
• Or, maybe this new situation/status is an opportunity to not only reflect on what is truly important and to work towards some agreed on adventures, instead of what you normally do with all the hustle and bustle and planning. 
• Perhaps you will decided to serve others together:
• Like working at Samaritan's purse where you put together shoe boxes with care essentials and toys for children in need in countries around the world. 
• Or, maybe picking a family in your community who could use some extra help this year, and helping them out. 
• Or, maybe this year is an opportunity to scale back on something that has grown into excess. 
• Whatever you do, remember that getting stronger and healthier is the best gift you can give to others who love you, and to yourself too.
• Remember that simple is good. 
• If you'd normally make each and every morsel that comes across your table, don't be ashamed to buy it this year, or do significantly less or a combination thereof. 
• If you'd normally donate to certain places or people but find that you cannot afford to do so due to loss of income, or income going to medical bills, etc, there is no shame in that either. A call or a thank you card can go very very far in showing someone or an organization that has helped you (or that you are normally involved in) that you appreciate them.
• If you normally write cards to all and sundry, and don't have the energy this year - don't. They'll live without them, and you'll live too. 
• Ask for help. No man is an island, despite what society tries to convince you!

     In the end, it all boils down to expectations. If you are planning on trying to match the expectations you've had of yourselves in prior years when you've been healthy, or not focused on caregiving, or you think others have (or do have) of you  - don't. My lovely Mom-in-Law told me one year that: 

"We all have turns. This year is your turn. Next year might be my turn, or some other family member or friend's turn - but we all have turns in life where we can't do what we'd like to do (and/or what we usually do). This year is your turn. That's the way life happens, and that's okay. Eventually we all take our turn, and you'll help when someone else has their turn." 

And I believe it. 

     Given that, allow me to say that this year is YOUR turn reader. Yep. Your turn. Claim it. Be okay with it. Be unapologetic about it. In the years since she's said that, I've given that advice to many (ill or just overwhelmed), and taken it myself. And you know what? It ends up being an even better year for them, it has been for me, and I am hoping it will do the same for you! Wise advice Mom-in-law, thanks!

     Remember that I said for us, part of our Christmas is that we personally also like to celebrate with those we love and appreciate greatly, and we do this with both gifts we buy, and gifts we don't buy? I hope that this post gets you thinking about your expectations around Christmas - especially the gifts you don't buy. And for the gifts you do buy? Well, if you decided that there are gifts you would like to give to those you love, but are still not up and about much, Stay tuned for Part II, "Shop with NO Drop." 

Happy Expecting Differently!

     

Tip # 71 Amazing Apple; Living Large Part I (Apps)

     No, I don't mean living high on the hog when I say living large - I'm talking about using your device in different ways so that you can see. Yep, see. Doesn't sound very exciting at first read does it? But when you can finally see things your've been struggling to see for some time, then, well - it might make you happier than a pig in mud….
     Why would you be struggling to see in the recovery process? Well, there are a bunch of reasons, but some of the top contenders are:

• Medications. 
• Some meds can make vision very poor for a few hours after the medication is taken. If you take this med a few times a day, it can get very frustrating as it limits many of your activities.
• Some meds cause drowsiness, which doesn't make vision all that wonderful for most
• Fatigue
• There's a difference between being fatigued (weak) and being tired (drowsy). Both can affect vision
• Conditions.
• With severe malnutrition for example, reading time can be restricted and vision is affected because of the sheer number of calories required to use your eyes even just to read! 

     Again, that's not an exhaustive list, but I'm sure you get the gist. When do we get to the amazing apple part? Right now:)  This post is "Part 1" as there are a lot of ways to address vision issues with a mac, an iPad, iPhone, etc. I am sure that the PC will have options too, but I prefer Apple. In fact, I chose to switch to all things Apple because of their many accessibility issues - but that's a different post.

     For today, we'll focus on Apps only. While there are many apps to choose from, there are a few that I love and use all of the time:

• Battery Free. 
• What: It's an app that tells you what percent of your battery you have left. Yes, this is on the home screen of most iproducts, but it's very small. When you press the icon, this app takes you to a black screen with a green number telling you at what percent your battery is charged.
• Cost: free
• Notes: I wish the numbers were larger yet, but any amount helps!
• Light and Flash-Light. Both apps turn your device into a powerful flashlight.
• What: Flash-light I like this better than "light" because it's less fussy (yep, fussy is now a technical term!). Press the icon and you get to a black screen. Tap once for light (twice for blink, 3 times for SOS).
• Cost: Free.
• Notes: The writing telling you about the taps is small, but I know that one tap is for the light so it's easy, and I never use the others.

• What: Light. Again, turns your device into a flashlight. And is very customizable.
• Cost: Free
• Notes: This app has a higher rating, and many more options (like brightness of light). That's precisely why I don't like it as much (the whole fussy thing). 
• Magnifier  
• What: An adjustable magnifying glass you can use to see almost anything. Press the icon and presto it's magnifying. There's a bar on the screen to zoom in and out. 
• Cost:  Free
• Notes: A very cool feature of this app is that you can turn the "torch" on or off so that magnifying in the dark is not an issue.
• Large Clock
• What: A large clock :P Again, yes the time is on every device, but this one is legible for those of us with vision issues. You press the icon, and suddenly you see the time in VERY large numbers with a few colour variations (black on white, yellow on black, etc)
• Cost: Free
• Notes: Options include things like the display appearing analog or digital, 24 hour or 12 hour, etc. 
• Angry birds Light
• What: Very popular game where you shoot birds out of a slingshot in order to destroy pigs. So, doesn't really qualify as an app that helps vision. In fact, I can't see it qualifying at all…. BUT, it's the only game I've found that you don't have to see perfectly well to play. It's not complicated, and there's a lot of repetition. 
• Cost: Free
• Notes:  Yes, there are many free versions of the games (angry birds rio, angry birds seasons, etc) BUT if you pay for very fun upgrades the fun just keeps going and going!!

     So, there you have it; a few apps to help you live largER at least, even if they don't help you to live high on the hog. But what do you need with living high on the hog right now anyway? I think being as happy as one in mud because you can see well is better, and getting entertained as I sling imaginary birds at hogs… well, what more could a girl ask for?  Try it and"see" what you think!

Happy Hogging!!

Tip #393 Wise Words Wednesday; LL Pants on Fire

     Liar liar pants on fire (LLPOF)…. Can you hear it? A whole bunch of little kids chanting that line over and over and over again? I have no idea how the phrase started - but I find it interesting that it's only the pants that are affected. What about the skirts? The coats? It hardly seems fair to pick only on the pants! The pant-y-hose too maybe? 

     All kidding aside, I don't know how or why the expression became what it is, but it does make sense to me that LLPOF is a phrase known the world over. Why? Because nobody - absolutely no one that I know of anyway - likes to be lied to. Neither does anyone want to feel like others know that they "bought" somebody's lie. It's not your fault someone lied to you - but somehow you feel responsible for it, embarrassed by it, or both. Human nature I guess. 

     But all of the above assumes that you've figured out that you were lied to in the first place. What if no one tells you? In some situations I guess that it can be blissful to not know, but I personally can't think of a single time I wouldn't want to know…. Which brings me to this week's Wise Words Wednesday quote.

     What's worse than simply believing a lie?

• When believing the lie convinces you that you cannot to do something you can actually do
• When believing the lie convinces you that you should not try something hard because it's too hard for you to do
• When believing the lie stops you from believing and working towards something that is possible, even if it's not probable
• When believing a lie makes you (and others) think you have nothing to contribute, when you are giving your everything 
• When believing the lie makes you lose all hope, when even a teeny bit of hope can move mountains 

Now, go back to that list and whenever you see the word "lie," replace it with the word  "fear," and read your new sentences in the context of recovering from illness or trauma, or caregiving for someone thereof.

It's not always easy to do, but if you can say "liar, liar, pants on fire" to fear, maybe it will seem to hold less power in your life. Maybe we should carry a portable fire extinguisher around and yell LLPOF every time fear tries to take hold? Any costume designs in mind?

Happy Fire-fear-fighting!

Tip #192 Wise Words Wednesday; A Good Day

     Have you ever read the children's book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," by Judith Viorst? It's one of my favourite children's stories, and, clearly, a favourite amongst children too. As you might have guessed, Alexander's day didn't turn out exactly as he planned. As far as he is concerned, everything that could go wrong did (through the eyes of a five year old). For instance, his two brothers pull very cool prizes out of the cereal box in the  morning, and he gets only cereal Or, he ends up having to go to the dentist, and then finds out he has to go shopping for shoes with his mom…. It's been a while since I've read the book, but I do remember that his perceived list of injustices of the day is an extensive one, and, as an adult - it looks like a cute little list. What does Alexander propose as a solution? Moving to Austrailia, because everything there is upside down compared to where he is now, and therefore a terrible day will be a fantastic day in Australia. Oh, to have the innocence of a child….

   If we consider real-life-recovery-land, whether you are an adult, child, or adult caring for a child (or I guess an adult caring for an adult for that matter), it's easy to feel like many days are much like Alexander's. Maybe the phone is ringing while the IV pump is chiming, the dog is barking - which  incidentally - causes the baby wake up when you just got her down, and you are trying to quiet the baby in a hurry so the nurse can get to work on you right away. Oh, and did I remember to mention that you do all of the above while in a whole lot of pain? Sound familiar? Or, perhaps, none of the above happen at the same time, but the day is filled with event after overwhelming event? We're not the only ones capable of having an "Alexander" day (I can think of a whole lot of parents of wee ones…), where your life seems to have be confused for some black pit where all ill-seeming-events and struggles converge. It just feels that way sometimes.

    So, what to do about it? Well, if Alexander is right, we should all move to Australia! Barring that, I think coping is better when you remember the following (not sure who coined the phrase, but love it):

  
     It's amazing what a change in focus can do for one's spirits. When you feel like Alexander, that's okay, acknowledge the bad. But don't forget to focus on the "something good" too. Even if it's just one thing, a little something good can make a very big difference.

Happy something good-ing, even amidst your most terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days!

Tip #53 Wise Words Wednesday; Courage and the Try

 Have you had or heard that conversation anywhere? 

"Are you going to do it or not? You can't say try! You'll try? Did you say try? There is NO try! Either you'll do it or you won't. I reiterate - there is NO try!"

     I get that people will choose all sorts of ways in which to get peak performance out of people. Some may hold your hand and walk beside you all the way, and others use the tough-love attitude - sometimes also known as the Drill-sergeant approach (much like the one-way conversation quoted above). My take? Well, I think the best way to help someone to "be all they can be" (pardon the pun) is to encourage them, and acknowledge the "try" in HUGE ways! I know it sounds crazy and far too easy, but you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar. Right? 

     Okay, that all sounds good I know, but what happens when a) your trying doesn't get you anywhere, and b) no one is encouraging you? Well, then that's a good time to do an inventory of what you are capable of, based on coming as far as you have in ANYTHING you've ever done. You had the top job? Great! You had the job at the lowest end of the pay scale, but managed to provide for your children in each and every way? Great! You sat up for 14 seconds today, when two weeks ago you could only do it for 5 seconds? Great! You are a person of courage. You know what that means? That means you have all the tools necessary to reach your recovery goal - whatever that may be, with or without encouragement. Encouragement is a bonus. Again, you are a person of courage.

     Now, before you say "I haven't done anything courageous - what are you talking about? " or "Are you crazy? I was terrified of the pain each time I had to do my exercises…." or "But I cried…" and lets not forget the "but I didn't do it well. I fell/failed/only got half way there…." hear me out. Maybe you are not wired that way at any time despite your current situation (and Hooray if that is so! Truly!). However, I have encountered it in others often, experienced it myself, and would suggest that the general public feels this way at least some of the time too - and they do so minus the recovering. So, if any of the comments above sound familiar to you in any way, shape, or form, please hear me out. Actually, hear two very wise people out…

     I hope you can allow yourself to be proud of how far you've come, and the courage it has taken to get to this point. Most of all, I hope you can see you that you have the courage to pull off seemingly impossible things. 

Try? Good golly yes you can try - and keep on trying too! 

Happy showing up that Drill-Sergeant!

Tip #330 Patience Patients; Zzzzzzz's via Your A, B, C's

     What can feel worse than not being able to get to sleep when you know you need it most? Whether you are a caregiver or someone who is recovering from serious illness or trauma, I think there is only one answer: Knowing you are not going to be able to sleep when you need it so badly. It doesn't seem to be a big distinction I know, but I think it is. How so?
     Well, for starters, knowing you can't sleep is like knowing you're going to get stitches (and lets say without any freezing just for fun) at some point in the evening. You don't know when it will happen exactly, but you think about it, wait for it, and psych yourself up for it, telling yourself it will be fine. You are nervous about it, and frustrated that it hasn't happened yet, but you are okay. Then, three more hours pass without a word, and your restlessness is starting to get out of hand. So now I ask you this: What is worse? Is the procedure worse if you've been focusing on it - preparing for it all night, or is the pain of actually getting those stitches worse?
     Well, I know that I find it easier to jump off a 40 foot bridge into water if I haven't been staring down at the water for 10 minutes. For me it is easier to jump when you haven't deliberated too much. So, I'd say the anticipation of the event is more often worse than the event itself - for bridges, for stitches, and of course, for sleeping too! (By the way, I used to think I was invincible and did all sorts of thing like bridge jumping, etc. I do NOT recommend it, nor do I recommend that you never think about consequences before making decisions. In my case I knew I was making that jump. The decision was made - it was just the logistics of it that were up for grabs!).
     So, speaking of logistics - some would say that accepting the probability of not being able to go to sleep (or back to sleep) is self-defeating, and you'll never get a good night's sleep if you think that way. While I agree that pessimism isn't generally all that helpful, I don't think accepting a troublesome fact is pessimistic - just realistic, and ideally that realism is still paired with hope for the best outcome.
So then, why do I believe that accepting that you are having trouble sleeping can be a good thing? It's hard to fight something you can't see or acknowledge (of course accepting trouble sleeping as a fact is only helpful if you are actually are having trouble sleeping! LOL!). Okay, so if it is actually an issue, consider sleeping as a parallel to knowing you are going to jump off that bridge; you've acknowledged what will in all likelihood happen when you go to sleep (jump), and all that's left to do then is to figure out the logistics. Of course, each night can be different- as can the outcome of every jump. But in both cases, practicing helps.
     For instance, for me - a lack of sleep is usually related to not being able to shut my brain down. Therefore, much like you do with a toddler when you want to help them lose their tears and be happy again - I use distraction. How? With the alphabet. Yep, I did say the alphabet. The alphabet method may not be the right method for you, but what do you have to lose if you try it? You're certainly not going to be missing sleep over it! So, here's the deal:
1) Pick a broad category. For example fruits and vegetables, or cars and trucks, or people you are related to, or TV shows, etc.
2) Starting at any letter you want (I usually start with m for some reason), name two or three things within the category. So, my fruit and veggie words go like this: melon, mango, mushroom.....
3) Work at it like it is something you want to really do well at - try not to quit just because you can't think of anything for certain letters; just move along to the next letter.
4) Count them.You don't need to do so, but counting keeps me more focused and more motivated. I get a point per word, and lose a point for each letter for which I can't come up with an answer. Before you ask, yes, I am aware of how silly and crazy that sounds, but it is what it is:)
     I hope this method will be a good tool in your go-to-sleep-arsenal for you. Barring that, I hope you find all sorts of heathy distractions, and that sleeping becomes easier each night. Of course nothing will be perfect 100% of the time, so don't expect perfection. There should be no pressure on yourself if any technique, coping strategy, person, or situation isn't cooperating with your efforts in that direction. If it's not working, just put it away, and use a different tool for now.
     Personally, I have used this strategy many many times, with varied categories over the years - it doesn't always work, but even when it doesn't get me to sleep, it gets me thinking about more relaxing things, which in itself is a great relief. I have done this with categories such as girl names, school subjects, names of atoms, songs, scriptures, animals (one for domestic, one for wild), and things that I love about people in my life.
     Do you know the category that works best for me? Blessing counting. I am aware that it might sound trite or cheesy to say so, but it's true. It works well in helping me get to sleep or get back to sleep, because it truly makes me feel better, not just sleep better. It becomes my stored-in-my-head gratitude list of things to thank God for, both in ordinary life, and amidst turmoil too.

And, of course - I do it alphabetically, and starting with the letter m.

Happy A, B, Zzzzeee-ing!

Tip #358 Creature Comforts & Weighted Wonders; Feeling Sheepish?

     Have you ever seen or touched a sheep? Or should I say have ewe ever seen or touched a sheep? Yep, I do know how cheesy that sounds, but I can't help myself sometimes:) Back to the point, have you felt their furry hides? Their coat seems course and curly and smelly, but they are still cute in spite of that. I've loved their contribution to the keep-you-warm scene for quite some time now. And, I'm now quite fond of sheep for another reason; they can provide assistance in the midst of recovery. How? They help with a) bed sores and b) comfort. Lets look at bed sores first. Good golly that sounds fun doesn't it? Anyways…
      Skin breakdown is very common in the recovery process. It's risk factors include (but are not limited to) incontinence, being bedridden or confined to a wheelchair, being malnourished, and having radiation therapy. Note that just because you have one or more of the factors just listed, it does not automatically mean that you currently have - or will ever have - bed sores. Having said that, it's always prudent to check for bed sores (aka pressure sores), and to consult your nurse or physician regarding treatment should you notice changes in the health of your skin. Click here to go to MedlinePlus for a more detailed description of the risk factors mentioned above, as well as things you can do to prevent and/or manage bed sores. It's part of the US Natuional Library of Medicine which is a source I like for getting medical info.
     So how can a sheepskin make any of the above better? Well, bed sores (and bacteria in general) LOVE warm dark spaces without a lot of circulation. If you are bedridden or in a wheelchair, then chances are you are providing that perfect environment a good chunk of the time (fun,fun,fun!). But have no fear, Captain sheepskin is here, and all will be well soon. Why? The sheepskin wicks moisture away from you, which knocks down one of the biggest ingredients in the bacteria recipe. And guess what? Bedsores are also elated to have their chance to bare their angry red faces in the presence of friction (ie rubbing the back of your ankle along the bed every time you move). Sheepskin helps with that too. I could go on for a while about it's many benefits in this vein of discussion, but I think you get the point, and I don't want to drive you crazy with my long-windedness!
     As for the comfort component - I don't know how to describe just how amazing it is to have a sheepskin. They are SO helpful with respect to comfort. Obviously, their contribution to preventing bedsores is a big addition to being comfortable, but there are other factors too - like staying warm, or cold. If you are sleeping on an airbed for example, the air in the airbed is awfully cold in the winter. Once you get that sheepskin on the air bed, the world feels like a much lovelier place! So so much better! And in the hot summer, it's great at wicking away that moisture. I don't know how it works at both ends of the temperature scale, but it does.
     On another comfort note, sheepskins are soft, cozy, and a great cushion for your whole body - but even nicer for all of those sore contact parts (like a tailbone or elbows for example). So if you require transport via stretcher to medical appointments, or anticipate being on a gurney or in a wheelchair for a good chunk of time for any reason, consider bringing it with you. You can and ask an attendant or caregiver to slip it on the gurney under the sheets, or the parts of the wheelchair at your back and under your bum respectively. It can seem cumbersome, but I personally think it is worth it - not in all circumstances of course, but most.
     Okay, so if you are considering buying a sheepskin, know that there are 2 types: synthetic and the real deal. Pros and cons? The real follows the contour of the sheep - see pic below. So it, fits gurney's well, but doesn't cover much of a normal bed. I think it's much, much cozier than the synthetic. But, the synthetic sheepskin comes in multiple sizes. One size is large enough to cover at least a whole twin bed, so there is less squirming and shifting in bed trying to get the sheepskin in the right place. While searching for pictures I saw a lot of smaller inexpensively priced sheepskin "pads" (even one made for your bunny - crazy), that can more easily fit a wheelchair seat, or provide some pressure/friction relief for those elbows, tailbone, or heels. In terms of absorption, they are both great, and both are reportedly hypoallergenic. They can be expensive, which is why this post is not only creature comforts, but labelled as weighted wonders too. I got my synthetic sheepskin as a gift from my hubbies parents (thanks!), and they purchased it at a bedding store. My real deal small one is from a medical supply store (in Ontario Shoppers Home Health stores usually have them).
     Well, there you have it. Sheepskins are no longer just used for diplomas and official papers anymore. The other thing i thought was surprising is that the product is not at all rough and course feeling as it is when still on the actual sheep. Although even spun wool can feel scratchy in life, the sheepskin (real) is luxurious and the other (synthetic) is very soft. Who knew? Here's a pic of the real thing (first) and the synthetic (small) pad kind (which sometimes are available at Amazon.com).

Happy Un-sheepishly Sheep-skinning!

Tip #470 Wise Words Wednesday; Just Breathe (Literally!)

     I'm finding it hard to believe that it is (almost) Wednesday again! Do you sometimes feel like you are't accomplishing all that much? I do. If you do too, keep on reading… 

I love this quote for 2 reasons… 

1) For type A people like me, when I'm ill I like to include things like "shower" on my list. It wasn't a candidate for the list when I could do more, but as health changes, so must expectations or - in my opinion - you drive yourself crazy. 

2) I think it's fun. And, anything that can lend humour to recovering from severe illness or trauma (intentional or not) is a very good thing!

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Click Here for (hopefully) the original location.

Happy Breathing!

Tip #492 Patience Patients; Thwarting the GOOF

     Who's the GOOF and why and how are we thwarting him? Well, it all has to do with pain being a pain in the you-know-what.  And if we can thwart pain - well then the world is a better place, isn't it? So, here's my contribution to a better world…
     There are three phases of pain in my books - four if you count the absence of pain, but I don't. Neither do I count the paper-cut version of pain for the purpose of this discussion - that's an annoyance or discomfort. I'm only talking about the kind of pain you may have in the recovery process as a result of a trauma or severe illness. In my experience, naming something makes it seem to have less power over you - that's how we thwart it. And the GOOF part? Well, stay tuned. In the mean time, do any of my self-proclaimed categories (below) seem familiar to you?

Phase I: Pep Talk Pain

     This is the "Ug this really hurts" kind of pain. In most recovery situations - including the recovery stage for caregivers, some pain is to be expected. This phase of pain is reflective of the  moments in the day to day recovery that are harder than others, but not unbearable. You know - the days you convince yourself to do those physical therapy exercises even though they hurt like crazy. Or, the times you carry little Johnny with his 2 leg casts on - he's not all that heavy, but the casts make carrying him awkward. Little Johnny seems to be 20 pounds heavier and you wish you could avoid it, but he needs you - so you suck it up and get it done.
     That's the kind of pain in phase I. And we thwart it by pushing through it using - you guessed it - pep talks. How do you give yourself a pep talk? Well, in this case, remind yourself it's not forever - or that it won't be that bad, or that whatever you are doing is worth the pain. Remind yourself how far you've come; you've likely been in hospital, and so you've come far and conquered much to simply come home. Or, perhaps you can stand for 3 minutes this week, but a month ago it was 20 seconds. Whatever the scenario, if you don't already give yourself pep talks, then consider doing so.  You might have to repeat the talk a few times, but eventually you drag yourself to do whatever "it" is, content that it's worth it.

Phase II: The Cut it Out Pain

     Phase two pain makes you say "Cut it out already!" to the pain fairy. Yep, I said pain fairy. Do fairies only bring you good things? I think so. So instead, lets call him the Gobblinesque-Opposite-Of-Fairy pain fairy aka the big GOOF for short.
     The big goof is the most annoying visitor you've ever had. He moves in without permission, and it feels like he'll never leave. He's the kind of guest that only leaves one square of toilet paper for you, he is obstinant (he certainly won't obey your wishes), he's arrogant (and why not, he flaunts his strength because he can), he is life sucking, and exhausting on every level. The clincher? He's irritating and seemingly powerful, and if you don't manage him well, he has the potential to affect just about everything. The big GOOF!
     So how do we manage the Goof? How do we thwart him?  Well, how do you train a dog not to pee in the house? You do as much preventatively as you can. In this case that means trying to go to bed consistently at a decent time (sleep helps with coping), and working hard at recovery (eg. doing your physical exercises). You also have to consciously work at balancing recovery with your ever changing physical and emotional limits, as exceeding them will put you behind even further. What else do we do to make sure the dog learns to pee outside? We change our tactics if the training isn't going well. With recovery pain, if the medication is working but side effects are worse than the original entity that they're treating - we speak to the doctor and see if there is another option. Or we tell any applicable practitioner that we're working hard what they asked us to, but with no change. Changing tactics isn't something we have to manage ourselves, and you are going to find the practitioners thanking you, not being upset with you under the circumstances.
     Of course there are more ways of thwarting the GOOF than above, but you get the gist  So, I'll only say one last thing about thwarting the GOOF in phase II; we need to get very very stern with him consistently. You wouldn't make a point of letting the dog pee in the house because you don't feel like getting up to let her out. If you did, you'd not get very far with training (and your house wouldn't smell so good either). So, if you want progress in thwarting the GOOF, you have to consistently tell him to Cut it Out!, and then go about the business of making him cut it out by putting the above into practice. It's not going to miraculously learn to go away on it's own any more than the dog will decide it doesn't want to pee inside anymore. It's up to you! 
     One last thing, barring all of the above, sometimes doing something to distract yourself from the pain can be helpful. I actually, yes, truly literally - cut things out. I love making cards, and so I print off little bits from a scrapbook program and keep them in an easy to grab place. Then, if pain is greater than phase I, but less than phase III, I cut the little bibs and bobs for future use. Doing such a thing doesn't make the pain go away, but it's a great distraction from the intensity of it. So, maybe consider cutting it out - literally or figuratively, or both!

Phase III: The On - and Off - Your Rocker Pain

     This phase reflects the mind-bending ability of pain. The "On your rocker" part is more of a literal description. Although you're not rocking on (that would be a great twist), you are simply rocking. It refers to the fetal position you find yourself in, while you rock yourself back and forth because the pain is way too intense to do anything but that. The "Off your rocker" part describes being in a state of such excruciating pain that it drives you nuts (aka off your rocker), and if it doesn't, it makes you wish that it actually would. As an aside I must ask how the "She's off her rocker" phrase came to mean that one was losing their mind - it makes absolutely no sense to me.
     How do we thwart the phase III GOOF? By getting the appropriate treatment. This kind of pain is best managed by a physician or a nursing team, and sometimes in the emergency room. Medals are not handed out for suffering through pain, so don't feel like you have to suck it up. Just because something shouldn't hurt, doesn't mean that it isn't hurting, so speak up. Now, I know that after all you've been through the absolute last place you want to be is back to hospital, and believe me - I get that. But, know that consulting with a physician or your nursing team doesn't necessarily mean they will send you to hospital. Either way it's worth it; you will recover better and faster if you take the measures you need to in order to be in less pain. Imagine how much energy you'd have if it wasn't being eaten up with mind-bending pain!
    
     So, there you have it. If you think I am crazy for naming the phases, I'm okay with that. To each his own, and if you have other strategies that work, hooray! I'd just like to say one last benefit of naming the phases: communication. Those around you may respond differently in most situations if they know which stage your in. Maybe loved ones will help by joining in the pep talk, or ask you to hang out when they otherwise wouldn't  - fearing you'd be in too much pain - but you were only in the pep talk phase of pain. You never know. What I do know is joy is possible even though none of the three phases of pain seem to promote it. . It's sometimes harder to fight an enemy you can't see, but I find that naming it takes some of it's power away. Joy is worth fighting for - so lets fight the big GOOF for it! We shall conquer….

Happy GOOFing off!

Tip #103 Wise Words Wednesday; Keep on Truckin'

Happy Fall! I love this time of year - the trees are so pretty, and we are harvesting our crops (certain types of wheat, soy beans, cattle corn, etc.). And while - yes - that is fantastic for farmers, we especially love it when those crops are at their best. In other words, we love it when we can reap the rewards of the land, and the financial rewards that come with quality crops. The trouble is, you can't control quality in some circumstances - like when the weather is being uncooperative. If it's too rainy in the spring, you can't get the crops in on time, with too much rain at harvest, your crops are too moist, and/or it's too hard to get your tractor to not destroy the field as it sinks in the mud, and so on….

One of the things I love about my farmer hubby is that he can go with the flow instead of being agitated and in a state of unrest because the crops require something that can't be done. He's able to let go of what he can't control. A steady, even keel approach. That's not to say that he doesn't care, or isn't human, or that it doesn't stress him out - he's just great at managing it all. Why would you worry about something you can't control? Wait for it to do what it does, and then we will regroup. How I wish I could do that more!

Okay, why all the talk about farming? Well, most farmers that I have met have the same attitude as my husband. Not all, but most it seems. In terms of recovering from trauma or a severe illness, we could all stand to have a farmer attitude. For example, why stress so much about what the swab will say? Either you have an infection or you don't, and worrying about what those results are isn't going to change anything, it'll just drive you nuts. Having said that, I get that it is "easier to talk-the-talk" than "walk-the-walk."

Okay, on to the wise words…. So, this week hubby borrowed a really big truck (apparently a triaxle truck with a triaxle pony, aka a "truck and pup." Why it's a pup if it's a pony I ask? But I digress). He was driving this really big truck, and there was a poster in the truck that made him laugh and think of sending it to me. I guess maybe regular truckers might be like a lot of farmers? Here's the quote. It's been our mantra lately….

Happy Truckin'!