Tip #55 Christmas Prep III; No Bumbling, Just Stumbling

     I don't know about you, but we usually do a lot of visiting with family and friends over the holidays. And, whether you are going out to visit, or others are coming to your house - there's always one thing that happens - conversation. Yep, conversation. And whats the problem with that? There isn't one… unless of course you don't have anything interesting, anything current, or anything appropriate to converse about. No, I don't think that you've suddenly become inept at conversation - but, I think perspective can get skewed when one is in the midst of recovery. At the risk of being offensive I'll say it this way; just because you live and breathe recovery and can be consumed with it doesn't mean that everyone wants to hear about every itty-bitty detail. Your health or caregiving shouldn't be the focus of your time together. But, there is a place for it too, and it is relevant to you - so you don't have to avoid talking about - it's just good to be a well-rounded conversationalist:)
   For instance, I'm not trying to say that you can't discuss how you are - but I am suggesting that there is more to you than this illness, and it would be great if you could share those other parts of you with others. Furthermore, and now I'm going to be really bossy here - you need to have a vacation from the illness stuff! Take a break from living and breathing recovery, and focus on what's going on in the lives of your loved ones. Try to initiate conversations about interesting or funny things. You might not be able to eat or drink, but the merry part… it's possible.
    Now, you may say "sure Val, but I have no idea what is going on in the world; the current events in my world right now are focusing on trying to have a bowel movement or celebrating happy blood results." And, well, fair enough. I used to watch the news or read the newspaper each day, and always thought it was odd to encounter others who didn't. Now however, I don't. And I don't expect you to either. Neither are we out and about doing other normal things like: seeing fashion trends (I just learned that leg warmers are back "in"), the price of milk (though I can tell you the price of my expensive medications), or the new building that has gone up downtown (that would require getting downtown - and who has the time or energy for that when you're so ill or caring for someone thereof!).
     So, what's left then? If you are devoting your time right now to getting better and letting other things slide until you are well enough to continue, then how on earth are you supposed to come up with something to talk to others about once you're done talking about them, the weather, and your progress? And, if you are saying "Val, what the heck are you talking about - I never run out of things to talk about, and why do you think someone's world is going to be affected by illness that much so that any of the above is possible?" To that I say - it's great that that is not an issue for you, but I have seen so many clients struggle with this, that it seems difficult to imagine that this is not almost always the case. That's great if this is not an issue you struggle with. For others who do resonate with what to talk about, I have a suggestion; start stumbling, not bumbling.
     Huh? Well, sometimes I feel like a bumbling fool when someone asks me what I think about a current event (tragedy, celebration, or anything else for that matter). Not only do I not have an opinion about it - sometimes I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about!  Obviously no one (including myself) is totally oblivious, but still….
     So, this is where the stumbling part comes in. I found an app; Stumble upon. I love it! And, I just discovered that it's not only an app, but something you have access to on your computer too. It's very cool. Here's how it works:

• You go to the Stumble Upon website, and sign up for free (click here)
• The app asks you to check off subjects you find interesting (i.e. cooking, photography, current events, art, medicine, etc)
• Once that's done, you are ready to stumble upon some pretty cool things. All you do is press the "stumble" button, and presto-magico you have random interesting things to think about, laugh about, and talk about, and more 
• For example, you press stumble, and up comes:
• A video of a dog salsa dancing on 2 legs to salsa music
• An article about an advance in cancer research
• A beautiful picture of a child, or a glacier, or mountains
• An inspirational "life story" about someone who has overcome much 
• Tips on how to groom your pet
• An article about the guy (name slips my mind just now) that spends millions and millions of dollars making art with fabric; he made central park orange with his talent, and now he wants to cover the Nile with blue fabric I think (obviously I can't remember the details  at the moment - but when it was fresh in my mind I enjoyed talking to others about it), and/or
• A recipe for apple strudel with pumpkin for example.

     Well, you get gist. If you didn't select cooking on your checklist in the beginning, it's not likely (though not impossible) that you would "stumble upon" the recipe, or no dog video if you didn't check pets….).
     So, just a few more notes:

• You can "save" your favourites, and look at them again at any time
• You don't have to give them all your info when you sign up - so look carefully to see only the required items.
• You can "follow" people who have chosen to allow others to see their lists of cool things, but decide whether or not you want others to be able to follow you - and then make sure you've set up your account accordingly
• You can go back and change the interests that you originally checked off, (or didn't check off but wish you had)

     It's fun, and it's easy, and I hope you try it out (and hope even more that you like it). It's also a great distraction to help you get your mind off your pain when it's bad!  And, even if you don't use it for the purpose of communicating with others, but just for entertaining yourself, that's still a great thing, and it's a good break from recovery, even if only for a few minutes at a time. It's also evidence that the outside world still exists. I'm sure there are other such apps that would be applicable to this situation, this just happens to be the one I found, and enjoy. It's an unusual way to prepare for Christmas I know - but there is nothing about experiencing recovery without encountering the "unusuals" - so maybe it's not so unusual after all...
     Merry Christmas to you and yours - I hope your days are filled with blessings, energy, and friends, family, laughter and love, and great conversation too! ;P

Happy Christmas Prepping to Stumble not Bumble!