Yes, of course we're talking about Christmas. I know that Christmas means something different to everyone, and that other cultures celebrate different things at different times, but I celebrate Christmas so I will speak to Christmas. For us, Christmas truly is the center of our faith (we believe Jesus was born on this day, for the whole world). Having said that, we also like to celebrate with those we love and appreciate greatly, and we do this with gifts (gifts we buy, and gifts we don't). And, as I am sure you know - that isn't easy if you're home and not able to be out and about, or lacking energy, time, and resources.
Have no fear, though, there are some ways to make a cheerful Christmas a little easier. It all ends and ends with Expectations. Great Expectations - and not the Charles Dickens kind either. No, I didn't mean begins and ends, I truly meant ends and ends. I don't know if you've noticed, but many people (especially women - I'm allowed to say it because I am one:)) expect the unattainable no matter how able-bodied they are. And that just isn't good for anyone. But if you have reasonable (and I really do mean reasonable!), attainable, practical expectations, you're not so focused on what's not working out, and that leaves you the ability to actually experience the joy in it all - especially in what is working out (like having fun). How is this possible? Well, it starts with a state of mind I think. Consider the following:
- Of course, the top tip is to consider what the day means for you and how you want to celebrate it. Is it about the gifts only, or is it about family, faith, a combination thereof or something else entirely?
- If all that matters to you is that you spend time with those you love, maybe have a meal together, go to church together, sing carols in your living room, or order Chinese and play board games together. But don't forget to communicate and compromise…
- BIG HINT (re the compromise, the communications, and your expectations): Your loved ones love you (obviously), so don't get bogged down because they and you have not been discussing the details! If you are recovering, or you are taking care of someone recovering, logic and love says to them that you might not want everyone at your house. In the mean time, if your great expectation is that they will come to you of course - since you can't go to them. Or, perhaps you figure one day of exhaustion is worth it for this occasion, no matter the consequences (like needing to sleep for a week). Logic and love don't always go hand in hand the way everyone thinks they should. Don't be shy; discuss the details. You'll be thankful you did! And, hopefully, with good communication a good compromise can be agreed upon - whatever that looks like in your family.
- Or, maybe this new situation/status is an opportunity to not only reflect on what is truly important and to work towards some agreed on adventures, instead of what you normally do with all the hustle and bustle and planning.
- Perhaps you will decided to serve others together:
- Like working at Samaritan's purse where you put together shoe boxes with care essentials and toys for children in need in countries around the world.
- Or, maybe picking a family in your community who could use some extra help this year, and helping them out.
- Or, maybe this year is an opportunity to scale back on something that has grown into excess.
- Whatever you do, remember that getting stronger and healthier is the best gift you can give to others who love you, and to yourself too.
- Remember that simple is good.
- If you'd normally make each and every morsel that comes across your table, don't be ashamed to buy it this year, or do significantly less or a combination thereof.
- If you'd normally donate to certain places or people but find that you cannot afford to do so due to loss of income, or income going to medical bills, etc, there is no shame in that either. A call or a thank you card can go very very far in showing someone or an organization that has helped you (or that you are normally involved in) that you appreciate them.
- If you normally write cards to all and sundry, and don't have the energy this year - don't. They'll live without them, and you'll live too.
- Ask for help. No man is an island, despite what society tries to convince you!
"We all have turns. This year is your turn. Next year might be my turn, or some other family member or friend's turn - but we all have turns in life where we can't do what we'd like to do (and/or what we usually do). This year is your turn. That's the way life happens, and that's okay. Eventually we all take our turn, and you'll help when someone else has their turn."
And I believe it.Given that, allow me to say that this year is YOUR turn reader. Yep. Your turn. Claim it. Be okay with it. Be unapologetic about it. In the years since she's said that, I've given that advice to many (ill or just overwhelmed), and taken it myself. And you know what? It ends up being an even better year for them, it has been for me, and I am hoping it will do the same for you! Wise advice Mom-in-law, thanks!
Remember that I said for us, part of our Christmas is that we personally also like to celebrate with those we love and appreciate greatly, and we do this with both gifts we buy, and gifts we don't buy? I hope that this post gets you thinking about your expectations around Christmas - especially the gifts you don't buy. And for the gifts you do buy? Well, if you decided that there are gifts you would like to give to those you love, but are still not up and about much, Stay tuned for Part II, "Shop with NO Drop."
Happy Expecting Differently!
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