Tip #418 Wise Words Wednesday; No Stick in the Mud

     I've always wondered how the phrase (he/she is) "a stick in the mud" came to be. If you look it up on online dictionaries, being a stick in the muck can mean anything from being unimaginative to being boring, unimportant, a coloured blimp (seriously?), and more. Generally speaking though, I think we can agree that being a figurative stick in the mud does not seem to be a good thing - and for that matter to be literally stuck in the mud doesn't seem all that appetizing either. So, most people avoid mud. They don't want their vehicles stuck in it, their dogs to track it in, and people really really don't like to be called anything in the mud, be it a stick or anything else for that matter!
     In a thousand ways, severe illness/trauma or the caregiving thereof can feel a whole lot like being stuck in the mud. It feels like the body is immersed in it; movement is slower, requiring help to get out of it is a big probability, it's weight can feel oppressive, and it's icky (for a lack of a better word), and, that's over and above all of the afore mentioned characteristics of mud above. 
     But you know what? Mud is not always the worst thing in the world. Some people actually pay to soak in specific types of mud. They also do mud facials, and other mud related spa treatments. Kids make hamburger patties out of mud for outside tea/BBQ parties. Pigs love to roll in it, kids like to stand in it when it's all squishy after a rain, and, apparently, there are those that will wrestle in it:). 


Mud. Not entirely good, not entirely bad. It just is what it is. 


The interesting part to me is the whole spa angle of it - not that I've ever been to one. But here's the thing: you want opulence? Soak in med. Who thought that was a good idea in the beginning of it all? Hey Marcy, you're skin looks raw…. maybe we should try slathering your face in mud, let it dry, and see how it feels after that. Sounds logical doesn't it? 
The point? Mud can serve a purpose. Not everyone wants to take the mud option or experience that particular purpose, but it's abilities to heal/help skin is not dependent on you believing it's good for you - it just is (usually anyway).


 I think life's mud serves a purpose too. Recently, a woman I greatly respect on my medical team, Ms. Mc gave me some encouraging words. 

"No mud, no lotus" ~ Thich Nhat Hahn  

Ms. Mc said that he (Thich Nhat Hahn) goes on to explain, "There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus."

Again, you don't have to like being in the mud - that whole oppressive ickiness feeling that mud can give you doesn't have to be fun in order to produce beautiful things. And I'm not saying that you are experiencing some twisted sick joke just so you can become a lotus. But, mud grows the lotus. So, don't forget to enjoy the lotus - and to appreciate the mud that brought it to you. And if you can, when you're in the middle of the mud, remember there's a lotus to look forward to. They're quite beautiful... and these blue ones? They symbolize victory. 

  Happy Victories!

Tip #427 Wise Words Wednesday; The Power of the Past

Do you ever feel like you are defined by the serious illness and/or trauma that you or a loved one have experienced? It is easy to feel that way, and it is very common to feel that way too. Society has a habit of traveling to places like "Comparison Boulevard" where everyone is valued by their abilities (or lack thereof) rather than for who they are at their core. Not only do we often do this to each other, but we also do it to ourselves as well. Once we do that, we can find ourselves believing that that valuation is truly the case. Not good.
But, we can't go back and make all the trauma not happen, even though we stubbornly hate to admit it sometimes - like when we get stuck in the "if only" scenarios. I have caught myself saying "in my other life before the accident I could..." or "Well, back in real life..."
Whether you were a bus boy or the president, or a carpenter or a stockbroker, it is hard to escape the past. Whether it is hard because:
A) All the loss surrounding (and resulting from) the trauma itself is still ongoing or fresh in the mind for any reason
B) the inability to feel valued because others cannot see what you used to be able to do vs. What you can currently do, or may never be able to do again, or
C) the belief that you need to prove your worth to yourself because what you can offer the world is so different from that which you were either already doing or trying to do..... the result is unrest, unease, and heartache... We should not be defined by what we can or cannot do, but who we are. If only that was a more common thought.
I really believe that if we can only accept that our value is hinged to our performance, then whatever diminishes said performance (like trauma), makes it nearly (or entirely) impossible to move forward in big ways. You can't fix or change the past, and it's alreaddy had its " fun" with you, so why give it one more minute worth of a hold on you and your ability to move forward. And yes, i do know that's easier said than done - i have struggled with this myself on many occasions. I refuse to let it define me entirely, and it is only by faith that I am ever able to do so. It is not a walk in the park to choose this stance, but, for me at least, it is less painful in the grand scheme of things.
This quote says it all for me.

Your past is just a story. And once you realize this, It has no power over you. - Chuck Palahniuk

Happy overpowering!

Tip #393 Wise Words Wednesday; LL Pants on Fire

     Liar liar pants on fire (LLPOF)…. Can you hear it? A whole bunch of little kids chanting that line over and over and over again? I have no idea how the phrase started - but I find it interesting that it's only the pants that are affected. What about the skirts? The coats? It hardly seems fair to pick only on the pants! The pant-y-hose too maybe? 

     All kidding aside, I don't know how or why the expression became what it is, but it does make sense to me that LLPOF is a phrase known the world over. Why? Because nobody - absolutely no one that I know of anyway - likes to be lied to. Neither does anyone want to feel like others know that they "bought" somebody's lie. It's not your fault someone lied to you - but somehow you feel responsible for it, embarrassed by it, or both. Human nature I guess. 

     But all of the above assumes that you've figured out that you were lied to in the first place. What if no one tells you? In some situations I guess that it can be blissful to not know, but I personally can't think of a single time I wouldn't want to know…. Which brings me to this week's Wise Words Wednesday quote.

     What's worse than simply believing a lie?

• When believing the lie convinces you that you cannot to do something you can actually do
• When believing the lie convinces you that you should not try something hard because it's too hard for you to do
• When believing the lie stops you from believing and working towards something that is possible, even if it's not probable
• When believing a lie makes you (and others) think you have nothing to contribute, when you are giving your everything 
• When believing the lie makes you lose all hope, when even a teeny bit of hope can move mountains 

Now, go back to that list and whenever you see the word "lie," replace it with the word  "fear," and read your new sentences in the context of recovering from illness or trauma, or caregiving for someone thereof.

It's not always easy to do, but if you can say "liar, liar, pants on fire" to fear, maybe it will seem to hold less power in your life. Maybe we should carry a portable fire extinguisher around and yell LLPOF every time fear tries to take hold? Any costume designs in mind?

Happy Fire-fear-fighting!

Tip #192 Wise Words Wednesday; A Good Day

     Have you ever read the children's book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," by Judith Viorst? It's one of my favourite children's stories, and, clearly, a favourite amongst children too. As you might have guessed, Alexander's day didn't turn out exactly as he planned. As far as he is concerned, everything that could go wrong did (through the eyes of a five year old). For instance, his two brothers pull very cool prizes out of the cereal box in the  morning, and he gets only cereal Or, he ends up having to go to the dentist, and then finds out he has to go shopping for shoes with his mom…. It's been a while since I've read the book, but I do remember that his perceived list of injustices of the day is an extensive one, and, as an adult - it looks like a cute little list. What does Alexander propose as a solution? Moving to Austrailia, because everything there is upside down compared to where he is now, and therefore a terrible day will be a fantastic day in Australia. Oh, to have the innocence of a child….

   If we consider real-life-recovery-land, whether you are an adult, child, or adult caring for a child (or I guess an adult caring for an adult for that matter), it's easy to feel like many days are much like Alexander's. Maybe the phone is ringing while the IV pump is chiming, the dog is barking - which  incidentally - causes the baby wake up when you just got her down, and you are trying to quiet the baby in a hurry so the nurse can get to work on you right away. Oh, and did I remember to mention that you do all of the above while in a whole lot of pain? Sound familiar? Or, perhaps, none of the above happen at the same time, but the day is filled with event after overwhelming event? We're not the only ones capable of having an "Alexander" day (I can think of a whole lot of parents of wee ones…), where your life seems to have be confused for some black pit where all ill-seeming-events and struggles converge. It just feels that way sometimes.

    So, what to do about it? Well, if Alexander is right, we should all move to Australia! Barring that, I think coping is better when you remember the following (not sure who coined the phrase, but love it):

  
     It's amazing what a change in focus can do for one's spirits. When you feel like Alexander, that's okay, acknowledge the bad. But don't forget to focus on the "something good" too. Even if it's just one thing, a little something good can make a very big difference.

Happy something good-ing, even amidst your most terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days!

Tip #53 Wise Words Wednesday; Courage and the Try

 Have you had or heard that conversation anywhere? 

"Are you going to do it or not? You can't say try! You'll try? Did you say try? There is NO try! Either you'll do it or you won't. I reiterate - there is NO try!"

     I get that people will choose all sorts of ways in which to get peak performance out of people. Some may hold your hand and walk beside you all the way, and others use the tough-love attitude - sometimes also known as the Drill-sergeant approach (much like the one-way conversation quoted above). My take? Well, I think the best way to help someone to "be all they can be" (pardon the pun) is to encourage them, and acknowledge the "try" in HUGE ways! I know it sounds crazy and far too easy, but you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar. Right? 

     Okay, that all sounds good I know, but what happens when a) your trying doesn't get you anywhere, and b) no one is encouraging you? Well, then that's a good time to do an inventory of what you are capable of, based on coming as far as you have in ANYTHING you've ever done. You had the top job? Great! You had the job at the lowest end of the pay scale, but managed to provide for your children in each and every way? Great! You sat up for 14 seconds today, when two weeks ago you could only do it for 5 seconds? Great! You are a person of courage. You know what that means? That means you have all the tools necessary to reach your recovery goal - whatever that may be, with or without encouragement. Encouragement is a bonus. Again, you are a person of courage.

     Now, before you say "I haven't done anything courageous - what are you talking about? " or "Are you crazy? I was terrified of the pain each time I had to do my exercises…." or "But I cried…" and lets not forget the "but I didn't do it well. I fell/failed/only got half way there…." hear me out. Maybe you are not wired that way at any time despite your current situation (and Hooray if that is so! Truly!). However, I have encountered it in others often, experienced it myself, and would suggest that the general public feels this way at least some of the time too - and they do so minus the recovering. So, if any of the comments above sound familiar to you in any way, shape, or form, please hear me out. Actually, hear two very wise people out…

     I hope you can allow yourself to be proud of how far you've come, and the courage it has taken to get to this point. Most of all, I hope you can see you that you have the courage to pull off seemingly impossible things. 

Try? Good golly yes you can try - and keep on trying too! 

Happy showing up that Drill-Sergeant!

Tip #470 Wise Words Wednesday; Just Breathe (Literally!)

     I'm finding it hard to believe that it is (almost) Wednesday again! Do you sometimes feel like you are't accomplishing all that much? I do. If you do too, keep on reading… 

I love this quote for 2 reasons… 

1) For type A people like me, when I'm ill I like to include things like "shower" on my list. It wasn't a candidate for the list when I could do more, but as health changes, so must expectations or - in my opinion - you drive yourself crazy. 

2) I think it's fun. And, anything that can lend humour to recovering from severe illness or trauma (intentional or not) is a very good thing!

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Click Here for (hopefully) the original location.

Happy Breathing!

Tip #103 Wise Words Wednesday; Keep on Truckin'

Happy Fall! I love this time of year - the trees are so pretty, and we are harvesting our crops (certain types of wheat, soy beans, cattle corn, etc.). And while - yes - that is fantastic for farmers, we especially love it when those crops are at their best. In other words, we love it when we can reap the rewards of the land, and the financial rewards that come with quality crops. The trouble is, you can't control quality in some circumstances - like when the weather is being uncooperative. If it's too rainy in the spring, you can't get the crops in on time, with too much rain at harvest, your crops are too moist, and/or it's too hard to get your tractor to not destroy the field as it sinks in the mud, and so on….

One of the things I love about my farmer hubby is that he can go with the flow instead of being agitated and in a state of unrest because the crops require something that can't be done. He's able to let go of what he can't control. A steady, even keel approach. That's not to say that he doesn't care, or isn't human, or that it doesn't stress him out - he's just great at managing it all. Why would you worry about something you can't control? Wait for it to do what it does, and then we will regroup. How I wish I could do that more!

Okay, why all the talk about farming? Well, most farmers that I have met have the same attitude as my husband. Not all, but most it seems. In terms of recovering from trauma or a severe illness, we could all stand to have a farmer attitude. For example, why stress so much about what the swab will say? Either you have an infection or you don't, and worrying about what those results are isn't going to change anything, it'll just drive you nuts. Having said that, I get that it is "easier to talk-the-talk" than "walk-the-walk."

Okay, on to the wise words…. So, this week hubby borrowed a really big truck (apparently a triaxle truck with a triaxle pony, aka a "truck and pup." Why it's a pup if it's a pony I ask? But I digress). He was driving this really big truck, and there was a poster in the truck that made him laugh and think of sending it to me. I guess maybe regular truckers might be like a lot of farmers? Here's the quote. It's been our mantra lately….

Happy Truckin'!



  

Tip #405 Wise Words Wednesday; Mother Teresa on Loving Others

     Do you ever feel like you can't do the things for others that you would like to do? I'm sure that is something experienced by most, but in times of great illness or trauma and all that's involved in the recovery thereof, I think that feeling can be amplified. Caregivers and survivors alike are often fatigued, and limited in terms of the financial, physical, logistical, and practical support they can now offer. Yes, I know this is true in many situations and the idea is not limited to those experiencing such traumas; many new Mom's, for instance, will tell you that they feel many of the same difficulties adjusting to a huge life change. 

     Whatever the cause of the life change, you are absolutely normal and human to feel as though you don't have as much to offer as you used to - or as much as you desperately want to start to do so now. BUT, as normal as that is, that's NOT true! Every person has something amazing to offer…. themselves!!!  The good news is that a lot can be accomplished with very little. A little thing like a "Hi honey I love you" note in your young child's lunch bag can make a big difference to them (and to you). Or, when you can't sleep at night, mentally list two great things about each of the important people in your life - then consider telling them.  Be creative and have fun with it  and others will catch that joy, and likely want to multiply it as well. Mother Teresa proved that …. She was a very wise woman, and I am excited to get to quote her…  

Happy loving!

Tip #316 Un-Wise Words Wednesday 3; Learning the ABC's

     So, this Week's Wise-Words Wednesday post comes in 3 installments - this one being the last of the three. If you haven't read the others, here's the deal: I thought it would be fun to poke some fun at some of the medical lingo/acronyms/abbreviations without forgetting to give credit to human error in the midst of it. That said, I'd also like to clarify that the words are not necessarily "unwise" (though I think some are), but words/phrases/letters etc. used unwisely or unwisely created words. For instance, a word might be a technically correct entity, but not an appropriate word in every situation - like, for example, when a situation calls for tact.
     The first post addressed Logic and Language Casualties - extremely logical words and phrases that somehow manage to defy logic at the same time.... perfect for creating confusion. The second post was Collateral Damage - words/phrases that inadvertently create chaos and miscommunication. And, this post is all about letters, like when a wrong letter changes a definition, or various initials that contribute to making medical words that much more mumbo-jumbo-like. For consistency though, note that letters can mean initials, acronyms, and abbreviations, as well as, well, you guessed it - actual literal letters from the good old alphabet.
     A prime example of an letters gone wrong (in the form of acronyms) happened to me in University. One of my prof's told us in our measurement and research class that initials, acronyms, abbreviations and confusion were plentiful, and that we would be responsible for attaching meaning to a given page of initials on our first day of class. We all got stuck with one in particular, "RBI." Turns out it was "Runs Batted In" (baseball analogy). Since it was a class with a focus on measuring accurately for scientific research, we made an assumption that all of the initials were medical. In fact, only one of us in the whole class got it right (and it certainly wasn't me!). What did we learn? ALWAYS ask when you aren't sure what letters mean. Put aside any pride and ask - they could mean something very different than any seemingly reasonable assumption and resulting in disaster or worse.
      Okay, here we go - a few of my favourite types of wily, wonky, wonderful wonders. First up:

Old is Out, New is In 

I'm good with change. A lot of people hate it, but truly I don't mind - unless of course the change seems pointless.

Bewilderment:  Why do medical acronyms change whilst still describing the same thing?
Life context: Are you sitting down? I'm speechless. Me, miss long-windedness, LOL!  I can't think of a single non-medical example....

Medical example: In the auto insurance part of the world that involving people recovering from motor vehicle accidents, the short form used said incident was "MVA" and is now an "MVC." "A" means "accident," and "C" means "collision." Why? 

Double Duty

It's common to be confused initially, but "initial" confusion can be long-lasting - especially when an an abbreviation abbreviates different things!

Bewilderment: Why do so many new abbreviations use the same letters as existing ones? 

Life context: Quick quiz. What does "SOS" stand for? Not a lot of people knows what it stands for I would guess, but  we all know that it means "Help!" By the way, "SOS" actually stands for "Save our Ship"). But guess what? Ask your 15 year old the same question, and see what they say. Turns out in this day and age when texting/facebooking/emailing/chatting and other such things are a normal part of life from a young age, that "SOS" has taken on a new meaning. Now, "Sibling over Shoulder" is the winner. Who knew?

Medical example: Malignant Hyperpyrexia, Malignant Hyperthermia, and Malignant Hypertention all have the abbreviated initials "MH" but are 3 VERY different things. Tricky!

What's What?

Sometimes it gets tricky to call a "spade" a "spade" in regular life and seems exponentially more difficult in the medical world, particularly when letters are involved. Huh? Stay with me...
Bewilderment: In some disciplines more than others it seems that it becomes second nature to use the acronym for an item as a descriptor of the item rather than the words the letters represents. What???? I know that sounds complicated, but I think the two examples below will help make more sense of it for both of us. 

Life context: Do you know when I learned that "SOS" means "Save our Ship?" About five minutes ago! When thinking of examples, it occurred to me that I knew that "SOS" meant "Help me!" and likely accompanies the words "I'm stranded" as well. Everyone knows that part I think. And, at 10 years old I already knew the Morse code (three long, three short, three long), but until today I didn't actually know what words it represented.

Medical example: There are different types of feeding tubes: "NG," "PEG," "G," "J," "G-J", etc). Often the first is a "PEG" tube, and the subsequent ones are often "G" tubes. "G" tubes can be changed at home. "PEG" tubes require a surgical procedure, and are not done at home. So, trying to arrange a change of a feeding tube can be hair-pulling frustrating with all of the miscommunication about when, where, and how the change can be done!

     Well, I think that's it, finally, for the Un-Wise Words Wednesday extravaganza:) In parting, let me leave you with an astonishingly common confusing communication complicater. Have you ever experienced the difference that just one letter can make in a term? Hypothermia means you are really cold. Hyperthermia means you are really hot. Hypothyroidism means you have an under active thyroid. Hyperthyroidism is the thyroid being too active. See the difference? Whenever it is Hypo, it means low, below, beneath and Hyper means high, above, up. So, it probably wouldn't be all that helpful to take the person with Hypothermia to the lake, or the one with Hyperthermia to the sauna.....  I guess it just goes to say that "a little dab will do you," - er, actually let me amend that -  a little Letter will do you... In." LOL!

Happy Letter-Righting!

Tip #315 Un-Wise Words Wednesday 2; Collateral Damage

Un-Wise Words Wednesday? Yep, you bet. If you're just tuning in, this is part 2 of a 3 part series about words. Medical words. Wonky, wily, and weird medical words. Yesterday's post was about words in medicine that are extremely logical while at the same time managing to defy logic. Today's words/phrases are those that inadvertently create chaos; words that have the ability to inadvertently promoter of misunderstanding and miscommunication. Said another way, the words under discussion today are those that result in "collateral damage." Tomorrow's post (the third and last on un-wise words series) will focus on letters - ones that make medical lingo seem even more mumbo-jumbo (and yes, that's possible). But, until then lets consider some of my ever-bewildering favourite Collateral Damage Casualties.

  

Tomato, Tah-mah-toe, Potato Pah-tah-toe

Well, I think the title for this one is fairly self-explanatory, and a very common experience; it's not difficult to find two people who pronounce the same word differently. Whether an accent is the cause or different interpretations of the pronunciation, things can get a little tricky to understand under these circumstances.

Bewilderment: If the issue was limited to people with various thick accents, that would be quite logical. But since it's not, it makes me wonder - why? And how can you interpret it differently?

Life context: I have never promised to be the be the smartest knife in the drawer, but a friend from the UK once asked me if I needed any Bazz-ill. Now, many people have heard the word pronounced Bay-sle, and that's the only pronunciation I have known. If she was standing in the kitchen, talking about food, or any other such hint, I might have figured it out faster, but alas, it took a couple of go rounds for me to sort that the spice "Basil" was the item under discussion! Kinda silly of me really...

Medical example Have you ever heard of "ringing in the ears?" It's officially called tinnitus. Some call it (note syllable accent in bold) tin-night-us, and others call it tin-uh-tiss. Different syllable accents, different letter sounds... it all gets very confusing. For instance, Q: "Ms Jane, are you experiencing any tin-uh-tiss?" A: "No Ma'am, but my ears have been ringing like crazy!" For the record, the dictionary lists both pronunciations!

Sounds like...

Ever play charades? If no one is getting whatever it is the charade-maker is trying to convey, most resort to "Sounds like" before demonstrating the comparison word or phrase. Then it's up to the participants to make the connection.

Bewilderment: No bewilderment at the moment. I'm usually bewildered by the idea of it all, as well as in the midst of the communicating attempt. This time it's only the latter that I find bewildering!

Life context: There's a joke from days gone by about an elderly lady who plays BINGO and can't seem to make sense of a benign tumor (Get it? B-9. Someone had to explain it to me LOL!). 

Medical example:  "Ms. Davis, remember, nothing aurally" Most of us would assume that means nothing by mouth (orally),  but aurally refers to the ear.' Might make a difference in terms of hunger, and perhaps a hint that you should get checked aurally because of what you heard! One last example: I would imagine it would look a whole lot different if you were told the Doctor was calling you in to talk about a Fecal matter (re feces (aka poop)) instead of a Fetal matter (re baby in the belly)! Just a small difference between the two don't you think?!

Foiled by the Spell Checker

It's great that we can have so much technology at hand to keep us in contact with family, friends, and medical people. Truly wonderful, yes, but sometimes mind-boggling once spell check is done with your message.

Bewilderment: Why does Spell Checker refuse to trust me? I know I make a lot of spelling errors, and am happy for its assistance. Truly. But seriously, if I write a word 3 times over and it still tries to correct  me, why can I not make it understand that if it's made me recheck/rewrite it 3 times, that I might actually mean for it to be the way I am trying to write it? What does a girl have to do to get spell checker to trust her some of the time?

Life context: I once texted my nurse the results of an appointment she wanted info about. I, not feeling well at the time, did not check to see if my spell checker had automatically corrected my words - I was just trying to get it down, and get it done. Turns out I had a "Buddhism IV (Intra-Venous)." She called me shortly thereafter, cause there was no guessing from that one what on earth I was trying to get across! Incidentally, the word spell checker chose to replace with Buddhism was the medication Buscopan. I'm not sure what a Buddhism IV would entail exactly....

Medical example: Well, the life context example took care of this, so I'll just say that recently I wrote a note to someone that included the words refeeding syndrome, or refeeding for short - and I didn't catch that spell checker had replaced refeeding with referring all the way through the note! Makes for a very confusing read!

Common Words, Common Assumptions

There are a whole lot of words in this world, and many are said incorrectly (i.e. suppos-ib-ly instead of suppos-ed-ly). Other common words are frequently written incorrectly (i.e. adress instead of address). And that's okay in both cases. No one's perfect - and hopefully we can laugh at ourselves. The important thing is that everyone still knows what is going on; saying a common word incorrectly or spelling it, lets say- creatively, will still get the intended point across. What gets tricky though is 

when a common word is used with the assumption that it means something it doesn't because it's most of often only common in one general context. 

Bewilderment: I know I've said this before, but again I ask why do we have to use words or terms that have a higher risk of miscommunication when giving a diagnosis, or a post-diagnosis consult? It's hard enough sometimes to be given a diagnosis for anything - but when there are common assumptions made by laypeople (laypeople especially but not exclusively) the diagnosis can seems so much scarier, and so much bigger.  Some people assume that requiring oxygen therapy (breathing in oxygen from a mask) means being in a wheelchair forever and ever. It doesn't. Why can't there be some kind of gentle preface to giving someone a diagnosis that you know has common assumptions and pitfalls thereof associated it?

Medical context: Telling someone they have gestational diabetes (diabetes during pregnancy)  is something many women experience, but it does not necessarily mean that you will have diabetes forever and ever (thank goodness - it usually disappears after the baby is born). But diabetes is a scary word. It comes with certain assumptions - most of them kind of intimidating. If we could only preface it "Well June, you have what is likely just a temporary case of diabetes," that would be a great start. If the doc continued with "in which the baby will likely be just fine with some dietary changes..." It still is concerning - I'm not trying to minimize that, and it's not an overly fun thought or reality to experience. Still, if it was me getting said diagnosis, I think that's the method I'd prefer. After all, not only are there assumptions with the word diabetes, but not many people express pregnancy as the "gestational" period when they are talking with their girlfriends either!

Another Medical context: Tumours are usually described as malignant or benign. Do you know that the definition of Malignant actually means fatal? If so - great! But, as it turns out, many people think that one has cancer or some kind of tumour every time the word Malignant is used to describe a condition. Malignant Hypertension is a dangerous form of high blood pressure. Malignant Hyperthermia is a condition that makes surgery a higher risk for some than it is for others, amongst a whole host of other non-cancer related dangerous symptoms, triggers, and factors. But time and time again, someone is devastated because they think themselves or their loved ones have cancer the minute they hear the word Malignant. If this kind of thing has happened to you, you have nothing to be ashamed about... You aren't the first person that has happened to, and I am sure you will not be the last!

Well, that's it for now. Hope that this gives you a good giggle here and there, and also tells you that you are not the only one to wonder "Did I hear that right?" or "He didn't just say _____, did he?" and so on:). And, hopefully it also makes you feel like you're not the only one to make an incorrect assumption.... It just means that you are human like the rest of us. Oh the joys of it all!

Happy communicating - collateral damage and all! 

Tip #314 Un-Wise Words Wednesday 1; Logic and Language Casualties

     I know it's not Wednesday, but I love words. Shocking I know - I never seem to use many of them at all.... no wait, I do. In fact, if you've even only ever read one of my posts, you'll know that I am extremely long-winded!  I love words, I love being educated and educating (which goes much better with the right words), and - another shocker - I'm rather fond of details.

     So, since there are a lot of words in the medical world that I find wonderful, wacky, weird, witty, weighty, wise, and/or sometimes just well, wonky - it's a match made in heaven! So, this weeks regular "Wise Words Wednesday" is in three instalments starting today with one small addendum; this week it's "Unwise Words Wednesday." Hope you are as entertained as I am by these often frustrating, sometimes ridiculous, and often wily yet wonky, words and phrases! Part II highlights what I like to call "Collateral Damage Casualties" and stay tuned for Part III as well - it's all about letters.... In the mean time, lets consider some of my ever-bewildering favourite Logic and Language Casualties:

It's All Greek to Me... Or  Maybe Latin
It makes sense that the names of body parts actually mean something in Latin, and thus Latin is the appropriate language for referring to anatomical parts wherever you are. For instance, the fibularis longus is the muscle that runs over the fibula (thus "fibularis"), and is the longest (hence "longus") of the three fibularis muscles. 
Bewilderment:  While this is true, many physicians seem to, well, lets say "forget," that the average person does not actually speak Latin (unless of course you live in a community where Latin is the first language I guess:).) Otherwise not all that helpful!
Life context: "Did you see Laura's new koira? So sweet - I want one too." So, koira is the Finnish word for "dog." Apparently, it's the right word for dog (I think;P). And no, it's not helpful to use a different language to name it. So why do it?
Medical example: "Well Mr. C, it seems as though your popliteal fossa has been the cause of all of your pain." Any guesses? It's the name for the space behind your knee. Your knee-pit. I'm not kidding.


The Old "Switcheroo"

Just when you think you know what something is called, someone goes and calls it something different. The tricky part is that since they don't always know the word you call it, neither one of you has any idea why the other is being so very confusing. 
Bewilderment: I just can't picture how this works. So, for some unknown reason somewhere along the way, someone (who is someone anyway?) decided that they didn't like the name of something - so they began to call it something different. And it stuck. Well, mostly. Why?

Life context: Maybe it's a dialect thing - you know - a switcheroo simply due to geographic location. Says the British person to the Canadian"Pass the torch please?" "What torch?"  "The one in your hand." "I'm not holding a torch... Oh wait, do you mean the flashlight?" Or, maybe it's an accidental switcheroo because of rising popularity or convenience. We often say "Pass the Kleenex" when we should say "Pass the tissue" as not all tissue is Kleenex. I don't think I'll ever not call it Kleenex though....

Medical example: I went to University of Waterloo. Our anatomy profs call (the afore mentioned) fibularis muscles the peroneus muscles. However, at the University of Western (3 hours from University of Waterloo), they're still called fibularis muscles. Why? I have no idea. Tricky! You know what would really mess with a lot of people? If the Profs did an exchange and started teaching their preferences..... But I digress.

My Musing:  In grocery stores, when one company makes chocolate chip cookies, other cheaper options (like No Name or PC Brands) follow suit. The same is done with many medications. However, whether PC calls their cookies Decadent or Chips Ahoy calls theirs Chewy Gooey, everyone knows the product is chocolate chip cookies.... 

But meds? Not so much.  Dimenhyrdrinate is Gravol in Canada, Dramamine in the US, and who knows what it's called anywhere else? Buscopan isn't made anymore, except that it sort of is - by another company who now calls it Hyocine - after it's primary ingredient. This gets especially confusing (as many switcheroos are prone to do), since people often know only one of the two or three most commonly used names/versions... 

My musing? Why can't we just call it "Generic Gravol" or "Generic Buscopan" and call it a day? Ah, I suppose that achieving world peace might be easier....

Double the Trouble, Double the Fun?
Sometimes a little info is confusing and too much info overwhelming, and doubly fun when two different things are called only one thing. Unlike the switcheroo (where 2 terms used interchangeably for one part),  "double the trouble" occurs when two different parts are called only one name. Just to keep you on your toes - in case you weren't already....

Bewilderment: Back to the whole Latin thing, they were very on the ball when they put names to areas,  and thus, a small understanding of the intention with which things were named gets you pretty far. For instance, calling different muscles/ligaments brevis, and longus for short and long, that makes sense. But, sometimes it can get confusing, and, unless I'm illogical (entirely possible) or they weren't all that practical for some things.

Life Context: Ever see that show - Newheart I think - where the one guy introduces himself and his brothers to everyone regularly "This is my brother Darryl, and my other brother Darryl." They're 2 different people, but look sort of the same and have the exact same name, but are 2 different human beings.

Medical example: The tib-fib joint. Actually, joints. Plural. There are 2 of them. Your shin has two bones - the tibia (tib) and the fibula (fib). And they connect twice; once at ankle (called distal tib-fib joint), and once at the knee (called the proximal tib-fib joint). Trouble is, much like the Darryl's are not named Darryl x and Darryl y, it's not that often that people ever distinguish which of the two joints are under discussion. Things can get a little confusing for non-anatomy people in such circumstances (who am I kidding - lots of medical pros get confused about it too!). 

     Okay, so I have to ask; Have you ever wondered such things or am I the only geeky one who thinks about/has experienced such things? If you have then hang in there and laugh - you're not alone! If you haven't but are entertained by my goofiness, then keep a lookout in the next few days for parts 2 and 3 anyway, there's more goofiness yet to come! In the mean time...

Happy Surviving Crazy Logic and Language!

Tip #242 Wise Words Wednesday; Anxiety and His Friends

     No one wants to feel anxious - but everyone does at one time or another. And it's not fun. At all. 
Ug.
     And since anxiety is usually related to a loss of control of some aspect of life, I think it's fair to say that anxiety is a regular visitor in the midst of lives riddled with severe illness or trauma whether you are a caregiver or the person who is ill. Yep, totally understandable. 
     But,as common and understandable as it is, for some reason people in said situations often think that there is something wrong with them if they are feeling anxious; like it's a character flaw, or a terrible exhibition of weakness.
It's not. 
     If your best friend described your situation (as if it was happening to him/her not you), would you think they were weak, or flawed, or ridiculous for feeling anxious? Let me answer for you; No. 
Of course not. 
     But when it's happening to us... well, it's hard. Still, I believe that if we allow ourselves to feel it, and talk about it with others, then the word "anxiety" loses it's power and the feelings that go with it can disappear then too. I'm not talking about total surrender to anxiety, but being able to acknowledge it when it visits can go a long way. You can't get rid of the mouse in the house until you both acknowledge it's there (no matter how much you don't want it to be), and you bait the trap with the cheese (take action to get rid of it). So, how to bait the trap?
     Well, one woman I know meets anxiety head on. She is a very brave and wonderful woman who happens to have two kids - one of whom has a condition named Noonan Syndrome. I find her very relatable, a great teacher, knowledgeable, funny and inspiring too. And her children are the cutest sweetest kids... 
     She recently did a blog post about anxiety that was relieving, refreshing, and too funny too. You should just check out her blog for yourself, but for now I've included an excerpt from it here... 


Re Anxiety:
      I thought it would go way - the sinking in the pit of my stomach, tight shoulder muscles and sense of impending doom. There's no reason for it to stay. Surely there are other people that Anxiety could be stalking instead of me.
     Having my companion last week leading up to Lauren's sleep study was understandable. Now Anxiety has overstayed its welcome. It's like I've had a relative arrive from far away and they've decided they like my home enough to stay longer. The fridge is empty and the bathrooms are a mess and yet they stay.
     Anxiety even stepped it up and is now hosting a party. The little turd invited Anticipation, Subconscious Worry, Obsession and the ever present but quiet Sadness to the party. Who knew they'd all be free the same week? I'm fairly certain Lack of Sleep started frosh week and tracked Anxiety down in the parking lot. Anxiety was waiting for someone else but once the word got out, well, you know how the story goes...pictures fall from the walls, tables get broken and the liquor cabinet is empty.
     I'm sure they'll get bored eventually. I could always up the rent, disconnect the satellite feed, hide the car keys and buy only whole-grain-organic-no-fat-no-flavour-cardboard-meatless foods.
     Or maybe down-grading the Internet connection to dial-up will be sufficient?
     Isn't she great? The Sweet One is her moniker. Well, thanks for reading. Hope you can bore anxiety and it's party too:). 


Happy trapping!

Tip #347 Wise Words Wednesday; Perfection-Smerfection

     How are things going these days? Wonderfully I hope! In reality though, I get that things might not feel so great these days - whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually. And, that's natural, normal, and nothing to feel ashamed about. And for all of the Type A personalities, I get that things/services/people/you-yourself can feel even more inefficient, inadequate, or incompetent in the same situation - darn perfectionists! As an aside, if you want to see what I look like, go to the dictionary and look up perfectionist...
     But - now hold on to your pants perfectionists - it's okay to not have the highest of expectations for a while. And, take another deep breath... no one is going to do everything the same way that you did, could, or would, including yourself (given current limitations/circumstances in general). Trying to make that happen will only drive you, and others around you, absolutely certified off-your-rocker-brain-is-melting- kinda-crazy.
     So, I say, let some things go. Pick your battles, and the world seems like a better place. And, five years from now you're not going to look back to this time and say "I ruined his birthday because I ordered that present online (since I can't physically get to the store) and it wasn't exactly what I thought." No. And, no one looks back ten years from now and says, "I can't believe she thought it was a good idea to wash the reds and whites together" or, well, you get the gist....
     My thoughts? Save your energy and fight only that which is worth fighting - especially when the person you need to fight most happens your perfectionist self! And, don't sweat the small stuff. It just isn't worth it. I think Annette Funicello says this better, and I think many of us could stand to adopt her mantra.

So, how are you now?

Perfection, smerfection. Who needs it?

Happy wonderful-ing!!

Tip #309 Wise Words Wednesday; Waiting.

     "One of the greatest strains in life is 

the strain of waiting for God." 

— Oswald Chambers

     I'm not here to debate faith; whether there is or isn't a God, and if there is one, whether he's a he or a she or something else entirely. Your faith (or lack thereof), is your own and mine is mine, and I respect your right to your own beliefs.


     For me, I believe in God. And, I believe that in the midst of illness God is still a great God. I don't feel abandoned, but I do feel impatient. 


     And then I saw the quote above. Whether you are a person of faith or not, I think it is fair to say that Oswald still captures the strain of waiting. If not for God, then waiting for health, peace, freedom from pain or whatever other words you choose to substitute.


   Just wanted to tell you you're not alone, and someone else "gets" it. That's all.


Happy waiting for nary a minute more!



     

Tip #475 Wise Words Wednesday; Perfect Perspective

Hi. It's Wednesday, and I have a virus. Ick. Not the end of the world, but not nice - especially when recovery is one's main objective. Then I saw this quote, laughed, and felt better. I'm not the slowest person in the world... hooray!

I can live with that! Enjoy...


I'd love to give credit to the author, but unfortunately I saw this randomly, and can't trace it all the way back. If you know, please let me know:) Thanks!

Happy Lapping!!!!!

Tip #196 Wise Words Wednesday; Laughing and Crying

Hi everyone,

I saw this quote (and art piece) and I love it.  I don't think that it requires any explanation at all. Hope you like it too. 

Click here for it's source.

Happy Wednesday!

Tip #136 Wise Words Wednesday;The Ninja Report

     I've often wondered if Ninja's truly exist. Well, I am sure that they do, but I guess I mean do the "TV-and-Hollywood-Land" ideas of what a Ninja may be - do they exist? Whether they do or not, the big and little screens have surely given us enough info that we can look at someone in marshal arts training and declare whether or not they are of ninja-status, or a million miles away from ever reaching that goal. What does this have to do with recovery from severe illness and/or trauma and/or caregiving for someone thereof? I promise it will make sense soon (at least, I hope it will!).
     I was watching TV one day, and a guy named Ted was talking to a guy named Marshall. Here's their conversation:

Marshall: "... So I was meant to turn in a report about using 23-b-3 Spurious Class Action Precedent to contest a class certification order based on lack of commonality and numerosity..."  

Ted: Dude, you lost us, can you just call it something cool like "The Ninja Report" or something?   

Marshall: Okay, yeah, fine whatever.... So, um I was supposed to turn in "The Ninja Report" yesterday.  

Ted and Group: Ooh, wow, cool...

     I laughed hard at this, and immediately decided to add the "ninja report" to my vocabulary (and I must say it works very well)! The Urban Dictionary has the conversation and a definition too, but I think the definition is obvious enough once you've read the conversation above.
     Here's the part where it relates to us: Do you find that people stop asking what is wrong, or what test you are having, or if you are okay with things, or if you are making progress? Or, do you feel like you don't want to answer specifically, or you want to share something, but can't put it into a non-embarrassing or uncomplicated way? And/or maybe you find that communicating with those you love about all of this medical stuff is complicated and aren't sure about what is or isn't okay to say or how to say it? More often than not people feel that their loved don't care if they don't ask. But, sometimes they don't ask because a) they are afraid they won't understand (which is a very valid point) , and/or b) that the details of your trauma aren't all that interesting and/or appropriate/easy to hear without panicking, etc. and c) they'd rather not know 'cause it's hard.
     Well, obviously some of these things could be addressed in a hundred ways and very in-depth. I'm no social worker, but I think I have stumbled onto a potentially easy way to make some of those conversations feel better, or go better. It's worked for me already.  If we're lucky, there will even be some laughing involved and that's almost always a good way to start to improve such situations.  Sound impressive? Well, we are talking about the power of ninja's here aren't we? Here's a silly example, but a real one I have witnessed...
So, you're sitting at the dinner table with the family, and Jane (whoever she happens to be). You ask...
Conversation 1) 
How are you Jane? Well, all week I've been trying to move my bowels, and it just isn't working. I've tried Senkot, Dulcolax, PEG crystals, and I've been sitting on the toilet for hours and I just still can't go. I wonder if the sloughing off of the colon itself produces a pound or a.... well, you get the picture.
Conversation 2) (the Ninja Version)
How are you Jane? Well, I am quite exhausted/frustrated. The ninja report was due 12 days ago and it is still not in. I'm working hard at it, but I just can't produce the result I need to. Jane didn't actually have conversation 2, but I suspect both she and her family member would have liked it.
     I'm not saying that there is never an appropriate time to have conversation number 1. Not at all. There are times when it is appropriate to discuss such things with certain people. Still, even if that is so, it can be tricky for others to keep up when you are talking about something so far out of their realm of experience and understanding. And if that's the case, you're not alone, and that's okay. But if you are having conversation number 2, don't you think it would be tricky to not giggle while you are saying the words, knowing only you understand the double meaning? I digress....
     Remember how we said that Hollywood has given us the ability to look at a marshal arts expert and declare whether or not they seems to have ninja status? It might not be the right understanding exactly, but it is enough understanding to be able to talk about ninja's. How good or bad a Ninja might be, what they wear and/or the weapons they use, etc. Well, that's the goal of the ninja report tactic -  providing understanding in a nice neat package, without complicating details.
     So, if you're in a tricky-to-explain situation, an I'm-embarrassed-but need-to-talk situation (and this role is often reversed as well), or a you-don't-need-to-know-my-exact-business kind of deal just because you'd like to, or many other such situations; be a conversational Ninja! Use your Ninja conversational skills and be a fast, efficient, strong, clear and brave conversationalist, and a little bit silly-looking too:) Hiiiyeahh!

Happy Reporting!