Tip #443 Choosing Cheer; Looking Out, Random Style

     If I were to ask you how you felt about being ill/injured, or what kind of demand it is on you to be a caregiver for a severely injured ill/person, what would you say? Would you say "Wow, this is the best life I've ever ever had, it's exactly what I dreamed about growing up?" Hmmmm, something tells me that will not be your first thought. And that's okay. Truly. It is hard.
     What would your first thought be then? Well, frankly it doesn't take all that much imagination to guess…. While we can learn to be content whatever our circumstances, while God's grace can be truly enough, while quality of life is possible in nearly any circumstance - even if not in conventional ways - sometimes it just feels like this whole mess of health stuff stinks. It really stinks. To say it's hard is the understatement of the century for many. It can feel like there is nothing left - no energy, no motivation, and certainly no desire to add more to our plates. The reality though is that that kind of thinking doesn't get us anywhere; acknowledging it is good, wearing it as a badge of identity is not all that conducive to cheer. You know what is conducive to cheer? Providing cheer. Yes, I know I just talked about having little energy at the moment, but stay with me for a minute or two…
     I am a woman blessed in so many ways, and have received kindness in the most unexpected places. I have been on both sides of the whole "Random Acts of Kindness" movement, and they are both especially amazing sides to be on. It doesn't take much to be kind, but it takes much (if not impossible) to forget about a kindness given to you. In no way do I want to toot my own horn, but here's a little opportunity that came up for me this week. There was an ET (not extra terrestrial… enterostomal) nurse here the other day to change out my feeding tube. ET nurses deal with holes (like a stomach hole that fits a feeding tube) and wounds (sometimes they're much like holes…) amongst other things. One of the tools she loves to use is honey. A specific kind of medical honey actually. There will be a post on the medical use of honey in wound care coming very soon, but for now allow me to say that there is a specific kind of honey that prevents (and assists in treating) infections, and has no equal when it comes to other specific kind of wound care issues. On this particular visit the nurse was interested in my brand of honey - as it was different brand and medium than what she uses in community.
     She explained to me that the type and consistency I use, paired with the method required for its use, is significantly cheaper than the current conventionally used brand (and method) in our medical community. Based on what she said, I calculated that my version (a $35 bottle for 40 doses) is significantly cheaper than the $50 version used in community for 8 doses. She told me that there is a woman she treats who desperately needs the honey treatments, else she has to continue with getting a few inches of scarring scraped from her wound each nursing visit. However, because she cannot afford the honey, and neither can she get the honey covered, once the sample she was able to get was finished, her wound was brutal again, and the scraping is the only option. Needless to say, I gave the nurse one of my bottles for her other patient (and since mine is covered, I have written the insurance company a $35 cheque).
     Amazing? No. It's a small kindness that will make a big difference. Exhausting? No; not physically, not emotionally, not hard at all. Requiring much planning? No. That wasn't possible - I didn't know of the opportunity until I was in it. It was an easy thing to do. And it was (mostly) random. And you know what? My heart is lighter.
     It is too easy to turn into ourselves, feel more introverted, and for some, to call "uncle" because we've had enough, and climb into the pit of despair. Severe illness or trauma, and caring for someone thereof can unfortunately do strange things to people… It can draw focus in, instead of encouraging one to look out. So, again, I suggest choosing cheer. Look and do something outside of yourself, despite the health of yourself or a loved one.
     I know it sounds easier to say than to do, but small things can make a huge difference. And, the small things - like smiling at someone or telling them they are doing a good job - are more than possible to carry out.. Maybe you'll find that if you build on the small things - well, then maybe they'll add up to a plethora of joy and cheer for you. That's the way it works for me. Click here to see some examples about how fun random acts of kindness can be; it's on a blog about making life beautiful and random acts of kindness definitely qualify.

Happy looking out!
 

Tip #16 Wise Words Wednesday; Practice Play

     How did Wednesday get here so fast again? Good golly time flies! Well, let's get straight to the "wise words" of the day...

Play is not a luxury.  Play is a necessity.

Dr. Kay Redfield

     One of my closest friends is a Kindergarten teacher, and that quote was at the bottom of her email as part of her electronic signature. In actuality, the quote was a bit longer. The first part (immediately before play is not a luxury) was"Children need the freedom and time to play."  

     While I believe that is true, I have obviously taken this quote out of context as I am not a child educator, and she was not likely speaking about recovery. But the last words hit me so hard I just had to make them the focus! I still think it applies to everyone, not just to children, and to those in the recovery process too. Whether you are the one recovering or the caregiver or family member thereof, it is easy to forget about play. Really easy. It's also really easy to postpone it - and then to postpone it again. That's not so good.

     A few years ago my sis JD went to Africa with an organization Right to Play International. We are so proud of her! For a year she worked at a refugee camp teaching kids how to play, and by extension how to take care of themselves (the value of health for example, and the practicalities thereof), how to work as a team (to cooperate, encourage, and that kind of thing), and to just be kids. They do a lot more than that, and if you click the link above, you can check out the organization - it's quite amazing really.

     The point? Learning to play isn't just about playing when you are in a refugee camp. Actually, let me revise that - in real life, playing isn't just about playing. Playing is about relationship; building cooperation, resolving conflict, having a shared goal. Playing is about accountability; taking responsibility for participating (or not) on the team, for the choices you make that can affect the team or the outcome. Playing is about changing focus; having something to focus on that isn't work or pain or stress or recurrent nightmares or anxiety or fear. And, playing lends itself to a sense of community; celebrating victories, learning how to win with grace and lose with grace - and win or lose, to do so with others living in your "camp" who know your life. Playing with people who "get" the life you life right now, who have experienced what you have even if they've experienced it in a different way. 

     When did you play last? Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the "well, I'll just get through this next bout of treatment or this week of recovering from another trauma to the body...." and so on and so on.  I have often thought "after this such and such I'll feel so much better and then we'll talk about, arrange, or actually do the fun stuff. And caregivers, I know you can feel so tired that the thought of taking the time to do something "extra," especially if it seems frivolous, is not a high priority a lot of the time. Fair enough in all cases. 

     The problem? Life is too short, play is too important, and the lack of play affects all aspects of life. It's easier to see the importance of play as it's application for the refugee camp I know, but go back up to the part about "playing isn't just about playing" and see all of the things that can be affected in our lives right now, when we don't take the time to play in the recovery process. Playing is about so much more than playing! 

     And you know what else? Playing is also about playing. About having fun. Experiencing joy. Taking a break from crazy-ville. Really focusing on your loved ones. Really connecting with family and friends, and especially spouses and children. Smiling. Exercising your laughing muscles. Having something to look forward to, and to look back on. 

     So play. It really isn't a luxury to indulge in when things start to look up - playing is a necessity right now!

Happy playing!

Tip #274 Bibs and Bobs; Don't Drink and Write?

     I know - it's a bizarre title for a post. Just to be clear, there is no drinking going on here, nor drinking and writing! But, I can see how you might have wondered if I was, had you read my last post (about your Inukshuk). I started to write the post last night, and I wanted to get it up and running before I forgot the points I wanted to make. Towards the end of the post I got so tired that I kept waking up to find the computer on my lap with the post box open. I'd reread the paragraph, type a few words and the next thing I knew - I was once again waking up with the post box open in front of me!
     Imagine my surprise this morning when I woke up and couldn't remember closing the computer or whether or not I had posted the post. Guess what? Somewhere in my dreamy-land brain I must have decided the post was ready to go. In my much more awake state this morning I looked at it and decided "ready" wasn't a word I could use to describe the post.
     What did I do then? I laughed. After the laughing settled, I sat down and rewrote the part I had written while in la-la land. So, sorry to those of you who may have been confused... apparently I was confused too!
     Not that everything has to be a lesson, but if there was one to learn here, I'd say that it was to "sleep responsibly"in order to prevent recurrences of the "drinking and writing" style of posting, or any equivalent thereof in life. But how does one sleep responsibly? You do whatever it takes to get the sleep you desperately need to heal and to cope. While those "whatever it takes" items are different for everyone, there are always commonalities such as carving out enough (or any) self-care time in the day, rearranging the timing of some medications (but working with the pharmacist or physician to do so), working through anxiety, stress, and so many other items.
     So, how about we make a deal? You ask (and answer) yourself about what you need to do in order to "sleep responsibly" and I'll ask myself. Then, how about we each work on even just one item from our respective lists that would help us meet that goal. In the mean time, please laugh at me for my silliness, and if you don't already - practice laughing at yourself in this kind of situation, too.  It really does feel so much better to laugh than to feel embarrassed, to regroup rather than avoid, and to work towards good goals rather than sticking our heads in the sand.
     With that I'll say goodnight, and which you a fantastic night of sleeping, and a wonderful happy and sunshiny-day tomorrow!

Happy Responsibly-ing!!

Tip #104 Choosing Cheer; Why Not Me?

"Why Me Lord, What have I ever done, to deserve even one...."

     Do you recognize the opening words of this song? It's a Johnny Cash song (and I do really love all Johnny Cash music I must confess) written by Kris Kristopherson. Although I do recognize those opening lines from when I was a little girl, I assumed they meant something they don't. You know what they say about assumptions don't you? To assume makes an a__(we'll say donkey) out of "u" and me... Well, consider me a donkey then because for the longest time I thought this song was a "Why Me" whine. 

     You know what I mean don't you? It usually starts with phrases like "Why did this have to happen to me of all people" or "What did I ever do to deserve this?" or "Why am I the unlucky one?" and my personal favourite (note the sarcasm), "It's not fair! Why me?" I've truly don't understand this phenomenon. My thoughts? When you say why me of all people, you're implying that it should be someone else. Who? I wouldn't wish all of this on another human being at all. Besides, what makes me any better than you? Nothing. So, why should it happen to you instead of me? It shouldn't. 

     And the whole it's not fair thing? Where did we ever get the idea that life is supposed to be fair? Where does the manual of life say that? If you step outside in a storm, do you expect it to rain only on people who are deserving enough to be rained on? Do you see little black clouds hovering over the heads of the people you consider nasty? Of course not. Now, if this has been your train of thought, and you're upset right now, please don't give up on me yet. It sucks that what has happened to you has happened to you, and the "why me" is a common reaction. I get that, but think that it's important for anyone who starts that way to move past it. We are all entitled to our own opinions, however, and I'm okay if you don't like mine - but please hear me out anyway...

      So, please don't mistake me - I think there's no shame in being upset that something not-so-good is happening to you. There is no shame in feeling angry or devastated that you've been injured physically or emotionally, or that you are frustrated beyond belief. And, there's nothing wrong with being upset that whatever trauma you've experienced is life changing, overwhelming and mind bending. Nope, no shame in any of it, and it should be expressed rather than bottled up inside you. It is actually a good sign if you are experiencing any of those emotions. It means you are human, and that you are not in denial, and most importantly, that you are trying to cope. Emotions aren't wrong, they are what they are. To me though, there is still a HUGE difference between expressing, acknowledging, being devastated and/or overwhelmed vs. the negativity of the why me whine.  It's the "you use more muscles to frown than smile" phenomenon - the why me whine requires more energy. 

     Okay, so remember I asked you to consider me a donkey because of my incorrect assumption? Well, I meant it and I'm glad to be donkey in this case! As it turns out, the song "Why Me Lord" has absolutely nothing to do with the why me whine. Nothing at all. Let me finish the first few lines now (and if you click this link you can see them all).  

Why me Lord? What have I ever done? 
To deserve even one of the blessings I've known.Why me Lord? What did I ever do?      That was worth love from You 

And the kindness You've shown.

I love it! It is actually a song about humility, and astonishment; that grace is freely given and love is unconditional. I'm so very glad that I was wrong! Now it's one of my favourite songs (and the fact that Johnny Cash sings it doesn't hurt at all :P )!

     Ultimately, I think what I am trying most to convey is that it is okay to be devastated about circumstances. Absolutely. I'm sorry you have to go through what you do. But if you can make a choice for the "Why NOT me" stance, then I think you might get farther in your recovery, in your relationships, and in your coping. Choosing to move over to the "Why not me" camp not only feels better, but saves significant amounts of energy that are otherwise expended on the seldom-explained answer of "why me?' Why spend your energy trying to figure out why something has happened to you in particular, instead of spending that same energy on the process of recovering emotionally, physically, and for many like me, spiritually as well? Why not try it? If it doesn't work, you can call me a donkey. I promise I won't mind:)!

Happy Why-Not-me-ing!

Tip #12 Choosing Cheer; Live, Laugh, and Love Revamped

     I always say that cheer is a choice. And for most, it is. It's certainly more difficult to consistently make that choice, especially under extenuating circumstances like depression, and, say, oh I don't know... recovery? Yes, of course it is. But it's still possible. And the common phrase "Live, Laugh, Love" is always in the back of my mind as the factors that make choosing cheer possible in the face of recovery. However, in the context of recovery I find it easier to switch the order of those three little but mighty words.
     For instance, in regular life, you might think of the phrase Live, Laugh, Love with the words in that exact order (at least, that's what is written on the wooden cutout hung on my living-room wall). From what I gather asking friends and family about what that phrase means for them, the gist is:
Live Enjoy life to it's fullest. Try things you haven't before. Be adventurous.
Laugh Have fun doing the above. Do things for joy and make sure that you laugh in life.
Love Be open to love. Love life and love others.
     And that is all fine and good. It's wonderful in fact; I love that phrase and it's accepted meaning. Really, I do. But, in the recovery revamp I think the words should read in the opposite order, and we should take the definitions a little bit deeper. There's nothing wrong with either way, but looking only at the recovery process, I would do it this way, so, here we go.
Love Love God, love your spouse, your kids, your friends. Love hard. Think of them in all of this stuff too, not just yourself and your pain. Your loved ones are working hard and stressed and worried and in pain, too. Don't take your relationships for granted.
Laugh Laugh at yourself. This is not to say that you shouldn't get upset, cry, and/or rant and rave about all of the ugly stuff that comes with illness, trauma, and the recovery thereof. Of course not. But if you can laugh, life is better. At least I think so. I'll give you a personal example. I've been on a lot more pain meds (3 times my regular dose) for the last week or two, and I'm not quite functioning overly well all things considered - my brain feels a lot like Melba toast. My hubby was away for work for the night this week, and L, who does my regular afternoon care graciously agreed to stay over to help out.
     As I was standing at the sink brushing my teeth before bed, I looked down and said "Huh, that's funny. I guess I stayed in my pajama's all day. That's weird that I didn't notice that." L's reply was "Val, you just changed into them 5 minutes ago. I just brought them to you and you literally just changed." Needless to say, the medications melted my brain, and I didn't believe her; I thought that she was being silly. Of course with my arrogance and confusion in tact I though I was right. How could I possibly forget that I had just changed? It wasn't possible. I've got an amazing memory (sorry to toot my own horn), so, she must be overtired or confused. The more I thought about it, I thought that yes, of course she's mistaken- she's tired. That was indeed the most logical conclusion.
     It was a ridiculous conclusion. She was the one with the clear head, and thank goodness there was someone in the house with a clear head, because I clearly didn't! Still, she had to spend about 5-10 minutes trying to convince me about changing the PJ's, and I was having none of it. She even promised me it was so, and eventually, I burst out laughing. I finally remembered the sequence of events, and she was of course 100% right! Her kindness in trying her hardest not to laugh at me until I had had that revelation was funny too. We laughed so hard we were crying. And every few minutes after that, a giggle would escape from me, and I would shake my head and be amazed that I could be so ridiculous, and so obstinate in my opinion that I was not being that way! Too bad I forgot the changing of the PJ's instead of forgetting the inability to remember changing the PJ's! Oh well, that's okay - it was worth it for a good laugh.
     And it really was worth it. The two choices in that instance were a) get mad, angry with the state of affairs, cry at the injustice of it, be embarrassed and withdrawn about it, etc. or b) laugh. We chose to laugh. I do wish that I was capable of laughing more. It's always a goal and the Lord knows I get myself into enough silly circumstances to practice that response! And, no, laughing isn't always the best strategy, but when it is I highly recommend being able to laugh at yourself (and me in this case too!).

And finally, 

Live This one is easier than it sounds. To me, in the context of recovery, live is not meant to be literal (as in physically live or die), but figurative. Whether or not you are expected to "survive" the illness, to me, if you are loving as above, and laughing as above, well then, then you are truly living.

     Three little words, one gigantic impact on quality of life.
  
Happy Living!

Tip #211 Choosing Cheer; The Teeter-Totter Effect

     Remember when you were little and you would sit on the teeter-totter with your friends and have a blast going up and down for what seemed like hours on end but was likely only a few minutes? If you sat just right, held your breath just so, and leaned in the right direction, it was sometimes possible to experience that feeling of being suspended when logic dictates it shouldn't be possible given the inequity of weight. That perfect balance, that pinnacle, it's a wonderful thing. If you can achieve that balance during the recovery process now too, well, that would be a wonderful thing (figuratively speaking:) ). However, at the same time be aware that this does take effort. And sometimes - well sometimes that's just not possible; the effort is too overwhelming. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's regroup.
     In my estimation the two sides of a teeter-totter are a) the effort you put into getting better and b) quality of life. Now, as with any teeter-totter ride, one side can drastically affect the other. Some of us fall into patterns where it is all work and no play. It's easy to put everything you have into recovery so that you will recover faster. No one (at least no sane person) wants to be ill or confined for a moment longer than necessary. So, you work your tail off in the hopes you get better faster. But, be aware that while working hard to get better should be a high priority, there are some pitfalls. For instance,  if you spend too much time and energy trying to get better in order to increase quality of life, you can easily lose sight of actually having said quality of life until you're better.
     Whether recovery takes 10 days, 10 weeks, or 10 years, it's a long time for you and those around you to experience a significant loss in quality of life just because effort is not focused there, but on recovery instead (recognizing of course that quality of life is always decreased when you or your loved one become ill/experience trauma in the first place). Besides, in my experience, putting a reasonable amount of effort into quality of life actually makes the recovery faster, better, more efficient, and easier with which to cope, not the opposite. This is true for caregivers, family members, and any other loved ones, too. On the flip side, having too much of, or only a focus on quality of life you can run into some pitfalls here, too. Recovery isn't usually spontaneous - people have to actually work at it. All play and no work doesn't really get you anywhere either.
    No, achieving balance isn't easy. Things are different in "recovery life." Abilities and energy are compromised in the recovery life.  To have your attention and energy required for so many things in so many directions is difficult. You have obligations and responsibilities that are not always possible to maintain as a result of the illness or trauma, and you often feel guilty that you cannot do anything about it. To say it's hard is a great understatement. I'm not going to say at all that you aren't doing enough, or that now you have to do even more to achieve a better quality of life. I'm not going to patronize you and say that you need to do anything in particular. I'm not living in your shoes, and your illness is different than mine. Your regular life is different from mine, too, and mine is different than the next.
     So no, I won't tell you what to do, but I will suggest that you take a self-inventory and ask yourself where you are on that teeter-totter. Are you at one extreme or the other? Have you looked at those around you lately and really looked at them for who they are and what they mean to you, not for what they do? Do you plan things for joy (even small things, like eating a bowl of froot loops)? Have you made an effort to show your loved ones how important they are to you? Have you periodically planned things you can look forward to, and then look fondly back on? Are you practicing self-care activities (journaling, writing in blog, having a nap... whatever makes you feel good and peaceful)? Sometimes we get stuck in a rut, and don't evaluate where we are in life. Simply figuring out where you stand is a solid first step to improving things.
     The especially good news is that it takes very little to start to get that teeter-totter moving in the right direction. You may not be able to make a single change today, tomorrow, or next week. That's okay, and is to be expected sometimes - it's the nature of the trauma/illness. If you can do something that you know will make your quality of life improve, just remember that nothing needs to be extravagant...nothing over the top. Even if right now you can only keep in mind where you want to be, well, that is a helpful mindset.  Teeter-totter rides have a lot of ups and downs, and so it's okay not to be up right now - you're still in the game and can get back up soon.
     So, Bravo to those of you who have this balance figured out already, and are continuing to put in the effort (mentally and/or physically) to keep yourself at that pinnacle of balance. And if you're only figuring this part out about the recovery process then be encouraged that teeny tiny things can drastically alter that teeter-totter ride. Better yet, teeter-totters even give you lots of feedback about what is working and what isn't. If you pay attention to that, you will get so much closer to that sweet spot where everything is balanced. And if it's just not possible to balance it, well, hang on for the ride - even just getting close to that middle made us happy as kids, and these days has the potential to be pretty darn good too. Getting close to that pinnacle is a pinnacle moment too!

Happy balancing!

  

Tip #14 Choosing Cheer; Your Energy, Your Choice

     I always say that life is a choice, and I truly believe that it is. We can't always control what will happen to us, but we can choose how we will respond to it. We can. Really. That doesn't mean that we're good at it as soon as we adopt that philosophy, but since there are many many levels of life affected by severe trauma, illness, or injury, we have a LOT of opportunities to practice it! (I know that's a hard one to laugh at, but try... I often think that if I don't laugh, I might cry!). But, neither does it mean that we're happy 24/7. No one can be happy every minute of every hour. But, we do have a choice: do we want to live feeling miserable and making everyone else around us miserable, or do we want to have a great life regardless of what has happened to our bodies? I vote for a great life, and choosing cheer is a vote for a great life.
     Our ability to manage the energy that we are expending each day (aka energy conservation in medical lingo) can dramatically affect our ability to cope well. Have you ever been with a 4 year old who has been up way too late and has trouble coping with anything at all the next day? That usually means more crying, more distress, and more frustration with tasks and with other individuals. Essentially, it's the same with recovery. The more you are able to conserve energy, the better shape you are in (emotionally and physically), and the more you are able to cope.
     Now, I know that is easier said than done. One of the complexities of being so ill is that one day is not going to be the same as the next. There are setbacks, unexpected victories (thank goodness!), and outside realities that affect our plans. Still, it's manageable. I say, DON"T GIVE UP! You CAN do this! How? I interviewed a Clinical Psychologist for a project I was working on a few years ago, and one of the things she told me about was a method of managing energy expenditure while in recovery and beyond. She said she asks people to plot out energy expenditures for the day. In the mean time I have adapted this method several times, and adopted it for my own life too. I will share this concept with you below, but would like to first say that frankly I can no longer be sure how much of the original concept was hers, though a great deal of it is mine (I'm trying to not take credit for an idea that was hers). Still, however you cut it, I now have two methods that have been successful for both myself and others time and time again.
     So, let's regroup here for a minute. Managing energy expenditures = a better ability to cope = a better ability to choose cheer every day. Here are the 2 slightly different methods for managing energy:

1) For those of you who are Type A-ish, or who have long periods where the level of recovery remains the same for extended periods of time:

• Allot yourself 10 units of energy each day. There's no physical work to do here, only mental. Decide to equate the amount of energy you have in a day to 10 separate units.
• You may wish to write a small list of regular activities, and assign them points (washing hair at sink is 1 point, an appointment at an out of town hospital is 10 points, etc. as they pertain to you).
• Plan ahead: Have a nursing visit at home on Monday that is 4 points. Should not plan anything else on Monday because I want to save 3 points for other medical tasks I need to do each day, which leaves me with another 3 points for the day for joy/positive items (like watching a movie with your honey, having a friend over, etc).
• Very very important: 
• Try to balance the items you have to do (anything medical, and other responsibilities), with items you want to do, or that bring you joy. How many joy-points do you need each day to feel contentment and more able to choose cheer? If you don't have 3 to use, what can you get rid of to make room for 3? Remember too, that you can say NO to some things. It would be good to learn how to say no if you haven't already acquired that skill!
• If you don't feel like you can do 10 units on any particular day, then don't. It isn't failure, it's actually success; it means you are listening to your body, and not pushing yourself so hard that you have a setback. The number is a guideline to help you plan appropriately.
• For the extended recovery phases people, don't be afraid to push the limits a bit now and then to make sure that you are not missing an opportunity to be functioning at a higher level. Needless to say, I don't need to give that instruction to the Type A's :)  

2) For those of you who like to live moment to moments (hippie love child way maybe?), and those of you whose recovery is never consistent (every day is different):

• When you get up each morning, think about how you feel. Is this a day with only 3 energy units? With 6? Decide on a value between 1 and 10.
• As much as you can, plan out what you would like to accomplish energy-wise? Again, start with the non-negotiables like doing a particular medical routine, and your personal routine. Then add in your joy items. Sometimes you'll need to decide that since you wash your hair each day, you can go a day without it so that you can have time to play a game with a child, go for a walk, write in a journal, or whatever it is that brings you joy.
• With all of the above in mind, be willing to reshape the day over and over again. As you are choosing your day's items, you might have a, well, lets call it a hiccup, but really it means a fall, too much pain, a panic attack, an allergic reaction... an exacerbation of whatever it is that has has caused you to be this ill in the first place. That's not overly fun, but it's okay, it's manageable. Hopefully, the ability to adjust the number of units as you go is still helpful. For instance, I thought I had 8 units to work with, and after a fall now I only have 2. How do I intentionally want to spend those last 2 units? Regrouping is good.
• Very, very important: When your health changes minute to minute it is hard to not only get joy items done, but to get done medically what you are supposed to in a day to get better. That's hard. But because it's so hard, I think this concept of managing energy (deciding day by day how many units you have), is especially important. Even if it helps you make a conscious decision to do one thing for joy in the day, that one thing can make all the difference in the world. 

The Apostle Paul said (when in chains) "I have learned to be content no matter what the circumstances" (I paraphrased there). I believe it is possible, and it is my goal - whatever the circumstances! I've always been inspired by this, and I hope you are too. I know that managing energy is not as easy to carry out as getting that 4 year old to bed at the right time, but it is doable. You have an opportunity to manage your energy and make the choice for cheer much easier. I hope that if you don't already do that, that you start today. 

Happy choosing and cheering!