Okay, so here's a little addendum to this post: I wrote it last night while in considerable pain, so it seemed fitting. I neglected to mention in the first sentence that the game I talk about the entire time is the pain game:)
If it were a board-game sold in a game store, I don't think you'd find a line up of people waiting for their chance to buy one. Unless you're some kind of masochist that is... but I'm not, so I don't want it. Unfortunately for me (and for many of you or your loved ones I'm sure), the game store fairies have decided that we are going to play their game anyway. Darn fairies....
What does one do with a game one does not like? Ever hear the line "If you can't beat them, join them?" Call me crazy, but I say joining is not an option. Winning must happen at any cost. So, when in hospital to get a new IV started, I will force myself not to blink, while staring into the eyes of the medical personnel. When I dislocate a shoulder, I make sure you can't see the pain on my face. When I can't sleep because of he pain, I have a little talk with the pain and make sure the pain knows that it can't make a home here - I am not letting it control my life. My faith in God is what ultimately gives me relief and comfort, and makes it easier to cope with the pain and the situation as a whole. And, because of that faith, when I can't do everything I want to or need to do, it gives me the strength to do the things I can.
Now, the one hitch with the pain game that makes me especially successful at it is that it's my prerogative to change the rules whenever I want - as each situation is a bit different:) . The only non-negotiable rule is that the pain can't win. Sometimes this means giving into the crying that can come when the pain has been feeling unmanageable for a few days, or allowing myself to be frustrated and/or sad that the pain is here at all. I'd like to add a caveat to that though - I don't think it's healthy to spend all day each day focusing on the pain. If this is the case for you, perhaps a meeting with the family physician/specialist/pharmacist/ is in order. Know however that I say all of that while recognizing that the pain is going to have an effect on my quality of life each day, and some days are going to be worse than others. All of that aside and back to the non-negotiable winning against pain, I am also comforted to know that whatever particular type of agonizing pain I have, well, it is not going to be forever. Tomorrow will be better (unless it's really not better. In that case I try again to say the pain will be better the following day). Fortunately for me (and as I said above), it's my prerogative to change the rules or the details associated with the pain game any time I want. I feel okay with that (undefeated) because it shows that I have at least some semblance of control over how I respond to the pain (even if I can't change the nature of the pain itself). It's good to feel like you can so something at all with respect to pain.
So, I don't know what kind of game will help you (if any will at all), but that's what I do, so I thought I'd share it in the off chance that it may be helpful to you as you wage your own battle with pain. I want to qualify that and say that I do not stop taking pain meds, or rejecting medical advice in my battle with pain... Instead, I think it's smart to use whatever resources you have in your arsenal that will help you cope with your pain. To me, the pain game is simply one more piece of ammunition alongside whatever meds I need, and treatment (like physio) I get. Does anyone else out there play the pain game? If you do, you're not alone, and (I may be biased here), you are not crazy!
Happy winning!
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