For instance, in regular life, you might think of the phrase Live, Laugh, Love with the words in that exact order (at least, that's what is written on the wooden cutout hung on my living-room wall). From what I gather asking friends and family about what that phrase means for them, the gist is:
Live Enjoy life to it's fullest. Try things you haven't before. Be adventurous.
Laugh Have fun doing the above. Do things for joy and make sure that you laugh in life.
Love Be open to love. Love life and love others.
And that is all fine and good. It's wonderful in fact; I love that phrase and it's accepted meaning. Really, I do. But, in the recovery revamp I think the words should read in the opposite order, and we should take the definitions a little bit deeper. There's nothing wrong with either way, but looking only at the recovery process, I would do it this way, so, here we go.
Love Love God, love your spouse, your kids, your friends. Love hard. Think of them in all of this stuff too, not just yourself and your pain. Your loved ones are working hard and stressed and worried and in pain, too. Don't take your relationships for granted.
Laugh Laugh at yourself. This is not to say that you shouldn't get upset, cry, and/or rant and rave about all of the ugly stuff that comes with illness, trauma, and the recovery thereof. Of course not. But if you can laugh, life is better. At least I think so. I'll give you a personal example. I've been on a lot more pain meds (3 times my regular dose) for the last week or two, and I'm not quite functioning overly well all things considered - my brain feels a lot like Melba toast. My hubby was away for work for the night this week, and L, who does my regular afternoon care graciously agreed to stay over to help out.
As I was standing at the sink brushing my teeth before bed, I looked down and said "Huh, that's funny. I guess I stayed in my pajama's all day. That's weird that I didn't notice that." L's reply was "Val, you just changed into them 5 minutes ago. I just brought them to you and you literally just changed." Needless to say, the medications melted my brain, and I didn't believe her; I thought that she was being silly. Of course with my arrogance and confusion in tact I though I was right. How could I possibly forget that I had just changed? It wasn't possible. I've got an amazing memory (sorry to toot my own horn), so, she must be overtired or confused. The more I thought about it, I thought that yes, of course she's mistaken- she's tired. That was indeed the most logical conclusion.
It was a ridiculous conclusion. She was the one with the clear head, and thank goodness there was someone in the house with a clear head, because I clearly didn't! Still, she had to spend about 5-10 minutes trying to convince me about changing the PJ's, and I was having none of it. She even promised me it was so, and eventually, I burst out laughing. I finally remembered the sequence of events, and she was of course 100% right! Her kindness in trying her hardest not to laugh at me until I had had that revelation was funny too. We laughed so hard we were crying. And every few minutes after that, a giggle would escape from me, and I would shake my head and be amazed that I could be so ridiculous, and so obstinate in my opinion that I was not being that way! Too bad I forgot the changing of the PJ's instead of forgetting the inability to remember changing the PJ's! Oh well, that's okay - it was worth it for a good laugh.
And it really was worth it. The two choices in that instance were a) get mad, angry with the state of affairs, cry at the injustice of it, be embarrassed and withdrawn about it, etc. or b) laugh. We chose to laugh. I do wish that I was capable of laughing more. It's always a goal and the Lord knows I get myself into enough silly circumstances to practice that response! And, no, laughing isn't always the best strategy, but when it is I highly recommend being able to laugh at yourself (and me in this case too!).
And finally,
Live This one is easier than it sounds. To me, in the context of recovery, live is not meant to be literal (as in physically live or die), but figurative. Whether or not you are expected to "survive" the illness, to me, if you are loving as above, and laughing as above, well then, then you are truly living.
Three little words, one gigantic impact on quality of life.
Happy Living!
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