Tip #16 Wise Words Wednesday; Practice Play

     How did Wednesday get here so fast again? Good golly time flies! Well, let's get straight to the "wise words" of the day...

Play is not a luxury.  Play is a necessity.

Dr. Kay Redfield

     One of my closest friends is a Kindergarten teacher, and that quote was at the bottom of her email as part of her electronic signature. In actuality, the quote was a bit longer. The first part (immediately before play is not a luxury) was"Children need the freedom and time to play."  

     While I believe that is true, I have obviously taken this quote out of context as I am not a child educator, and she was not likely speaking about recovery. But the last words hit me so hard I just had to make them the focus! I still think it applies to everyone, not just to children, and to those in the recovery process too. Whether you are the one recovering or the caregiver or family member thereof, it is easy to forget about play. Really easy. It's also really easy to postpone it - and then to postpone it again. That's not so good.

     A few years ago my sis JD went to Africa with an organization Right to Play International. We are so proud of her! For a year she worked at a refugee camp teaching kids how to play, and by extension how to take care of themselves (the value of health for example, and the practicalities thereof), how to work as a team (to cooperate, encourage, and that kind of thing), and to just be kids. They do a lot more than that, and if you click the link above, you can check out the organization - it's quite amazing really.

     The point? Learning to play isn't just about playing when you are in a refugee camp. Actually, let me revise that - in real life, playing isn't just about playing. Playing is about relationship; building cooperation, resolving conflict, having a shared goal. Playing is about accountability; taking responsibility for participating (or not) on the team, for the choices you make that can affect the team or the outcome. Playing is about changing focus; having something to focus on that isn't work or pain or stress or recurrent nightmares or anxiety or fear. And, playing lends itself to a sense of community; celebrating victories, learning how to win with grace and lose with grace - and win or lose, to do so with others living in your "camp" who know your life. Playing with people who "get" the life you life right now, who have experienced what you have even if they've experienced it in a different way. 

     When did you play last? Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the "well, I'll just get through this next bout of treatment or this week of recovering from another trauma to the body...." and so on and so on.  I have often thought "after this such and such I'll feel so much better and then we'll talk about, arrange, or actually do the fun stuff. And caregivers, I know you can feel so tired that the thought of taking the time to do something "extra," especially if it seems frivolous, is not a high priority a lot of the time. Fair enough in all cases. 

     The problem? Life is too short, play is too important, and the lack of play affects all aspects of life. It's easier to see the importance of play as it's application for the refugee camp I know, but go back up to the part about "playing isn't just about playing" and see all of the things that can be affected in our lives right now, when we don't take the time to play in the recovery process. Playing is about so much more than playing! 

     And you know what else? Playing is also about playing. About having fun. Experiencing joy. Taking a break from crazy-ville. Really focusing on your loved ones. Really connecting with family and friends, and especially spouses and children. Smiling. Exercising your laughing muscles. Having something to look forward to, and to look back on. 

     So play. It really isn't a luxury to indulge in when things start to look up - playing is a necessity right now!

Happy playing!

Tip #27 Wise Words Wednesday; Might Like Nike

     Well, it's not Wednesday, but here is my Wise Words Wednesday quote from last week. I had it finished on Wednesday, but my internet was down, and I had another procedure this week.... well, you know how it all goes! So, better late than never right? Here we go...

Might Like Nike:

      I love it when companies get creative about their names. Really. Even when I was little I did wonder why people didn’t name their store something more creative than Bob’s Mart. But, if that was good enough for Bob, who am I to complain? It’s not my store! But Nike, well, Nike didn’t let me down in this department. Do you know who Nike was?

     If you go back to Mount Olympus from the days of yore, you will find that Nike was not only a goddess, but she was the goddess of strength, speed, and victory. Yep, let me say that again – she was the goddess of these three things:

Strength.

Speed.

Victory.

     Can you name three things that you wish you could achieve in terms of the process of recovery for you and/or your loved ones? I can:

1.     I’d like to have much strength:  

a.     Physically: to gain as much function as possible given the new normal

b.     Emotionally: to work toward balance in all areas of life despite the rollercoaster of recovery.

c.      Spiritually: This is the most important one to me. For me, my faith in Christ makes attaining “a” and “b” possible.

2.     I’d like that strength to have happened yesterday, and absolute full recovery to have happened the week before thatJ Can’t get much more “speedy” than that!

3.     I’d like to kick this illness in the behind until it is annihilated, and then put my arms up in the air and dance like a football player who has successfully executed a touch down! Totally victorious!

     Hmmm, I don’t know about you, but I see a bit of a trend here…  Strength, Speed, Victory. Well done Shoe Company, I get why you chose the Nike name! Very creative.    

     And you know what else the shoe company was creative about? They have a slogan that is very fitting for everyone – and especially for those recovering. Why do I say that? Well, in my regular life, I have learned that if you want to jump off a 75-foot high cliff into the water, it’s best not to sit at the edge of the cliff and think about it for a long time. It’s better to stand at the edge, get your bearings sorted out so you know where you are going, and then jump right away. I believe the same is true when it comes to giving yourself a needle, or doing any of the gazillions of things that can be hard to do because they inflict pain, or side effects, or fatigue, etc.  in the recovery process. Just like that jump, don’t think about how it will hurt, and don’t wonder whether you have the chutzpah  for the task. No, instead, if you want to be victorious, you should really try to heed Nike’s slogan.  You have that slogan yet? Probably, but I’ll say it anyway. If you want to have might like Nike then….

Just Do It

-Nike Inc.

Happy Nike-ing!

Tip #7 Wise Words Wednesday; Kickin' it Like a Kangaroo

     I want to be a kangaroo. No, I haven't lost my mind (well, at least not entirely), and, I only want to be a kangaroo figuratively speaking of course. Why? I came across a quote from Sid Waddel that illustrates the kind of spirit I wish to have at all times, and especially in the process of recovery and/or caregiving. Who is Sid Waddel and what did he say? Wikipedia tells me he's an entertainer from the 1940's, but other than a witty man, that's about all I know about him. I'm not sure in what context he intended the following words, but here's his direct quote anyway...

It's like trying to pin down a 

kangaroo on a trampoline.

Sid Waddell

     What the "it" is that he is talking about pinning down I may never know, but I want to be like the kangaroo on that trampoline. Okay, well, so I don't want the part where someone or something is trying to pin me down - obviously, but take a second here to really think about that kangaroo on the trampoline. Can you see it? Let's call him Joey... 

     Can you see Joey jumping? Natural ability to jump high and far is one thing, but enhanced with a trampoline - good golly that would be fun to watch! I want to have that kind of fun, put all cares and worries aside, jump high because I can, feel as free as the birds in the sky, and bask in the joy of it all. I don't mean to speak for you be you caregiver, survivor, or professional, but I think we all want that. Don't we?

     And, neither do any one of us want to be pinned down in the middle of experiencing all of that fun - even if we don't get totally pinned. Severe illness or trauma to yourself, or to those you love can feel much like being pinned; not so much fun at all really.So why do I quote Sid Waddel today? Just to say that we want to be free from all the cares in the world, but illness and trauma get in the way as they try to pin us down? Wow, what an uplifting thought (please read sarcasm into that). No, that's not it.
     Yes, illness and trauma can feel like a huge weight placed upon oneself, in whatever role you are playing right now (caregiver, etc)... BUT, there is hope for all of us in Sid's quote. Yes, hope - and victory too. We don't need to know what Sid's "it" is to understand that "it" is something that is nearly impossible to accomplish. "It" is a difficult thing. After all, can you really picture anyone being successful in keeping a kangaroo pinned down on a trampolene? He's fast, efficient, and most importantly Joey is a fighter. Joey has the ability to elude capture, fight the good fight, and I bet he feels joy in the midst of it since ultimately, he's still jumping, and thus victorious. 

     The same can be true for us. We can't control what happens to us, any more than that kangaroo can control whether or not anyone tries to pin him anywhere at anytime. But, we can control how we respond to what happens to us -  and that includes making room for joy in the midst of it - maybe not in each and every moment, but in some moments. You know that Joey is still going to be happy to touch the clouds in some of those moments, even though he's fighting the good fight. That's one of the reasons why I want to be like a kangaroo; the pinning is not impossible, but it is improbable - and those two words are miles apart from each other. And I won't even say the pun I'm trying to hold back from saying, okay yes I am - the more you focus on the clouds and the jumping, the quicker and better you'll bounce back... Sorry, I couldn't resist:)

Happy bouncing!

Tip #310 Wise Words Wednesday; Oooops...I did it this time

Hello again,
     Well, if you looked at my post from earlier today, you will in fact see how my brain works in organizing posts. OOOPS!!! I did not mean to publish, I meant to save what I had started... silly me. I can't say oops I did it again, but I've always worried that that was a possibility - and now I've finally done it. You must have thought I was off my rocker to post that way! 
     So, if you'd like to read the final cut, please continue... Here's where I meant to start, and what I meant to say! Though, I did take a bunch of material out to put it towards another post... so if anything seems to be missing - it is. That van Gogh quote will appear next week, too. So here's the post:
     It seems as though lately all I can manage is the Wednesday quotes. Every week I have plans to put a few posts out, and, as you may have noticed, I don't. I have so many ideas for posts (hundreds in fact), and am excited to write said posts, but these last few weeks it just wasn't possible. In the past, that would have made me feel irresponsible (what do you mean I can't accomplish the plans no one else knows that I have set for myself), a slacker (why didn't you push to do it. You could have at least planned out the structure of the post when you were vomiting... your brain was free even though your body was not...) and many other crazy responses. Thank God (and I really do thank God) that I no longer work that way, think that way, or have those types of expectations.   
     And guess what? I think I end up healthier (stress and pressure are never a good feeling to summon up), and get more done. Let me rephrase that - I get more of the right things done... right as in, well, balanced. I didn't get two posts in this week, but I spent some wonderful beautiful time with my beautiful niece, miss D. And that puts me in a better frame of mind for doing anything, like writing for example - and being as good a wife as I can be, and a happy relaxed person. I'm not always there - but it's more possible with balance, and easier to laugh when things aren't done.
     The irony here is that I wrote the above this morning, and could not get to finishing the post. And, one of those reasons was that I was having such a great time with another niece - funny how that happens. And right now am I mortified that many of you would have gotten to see the way I was setting up my blog? No. Not at all. I just think it's funny - and again, that you might have thought that I had lost my mind makes me chuckle. Maybe I have lost my mind (or lost it long ago...) - but I'm okay with that today. It's amazing how perspective makes it easier to cope with being human...
    So, when do we get to the wise words part of Wednesday? Right now. Here they are in all their glory....

Sometimes all you can do is all you can do; and that's okay. 

-me

     Okay, so it's not the most eloquent of quotes, nor the most prolific, but I still think it rings true. I want to do more than I can. Always. But I can't. Complicated, I know (LOL!). But 5 years from now will I care about the fact that I accidentally posted something I didn't mean to, or that I didn't post more than one post per week? Absolutely not. So why sweat it now? 
As an aside, please note that I actually don't think that anyone lives or dies by my posting on the blog. Not at all... it's simply one example of the way I approach things in life, and the expectations I have of myself to contributing even something tiny to the world or just one other person in life, while learning and challenging myself. 
     Okay, so I think I'm going to leave it at that, and let you think of any of the things that you do in life for which you may have higher expectations of yourself than others could ever have. Then, try to give yourself a break. Life it complicated right now, and the "all you can do part" might look different these days. And that's okay. Really. Perhaps you may decide to consider how to balance things a little more, change some expectations, and recover better and faster as a result too. Maybe not. That's up to you of course.... 
     Um, in parting please allow me to say that this baby girl (also my niece) had me smiling and giggling for much of the day today. That brings me joy beyond measure. I hope seeing her look at herself in the iPad camera makes you giggle today too. Now, I'm going to go put my feet up, relax, and laugh that I did something so silly today. Maybe you should too! 


Happy giggling!