Tip #179 Wise Words Wednesday; Senselessness of Suffering

     Suffering stinks. A whole lot. No one wants it for themselves nor (hopefully) for others, and yet it happens. Why? Well, I don't think I'll open that particular Pandora's box at the moment. As you know, for hundreds of years theologians, aethiests, professors and regular Joe's alike have had different opinions on why we suffer, what constitutes suffering, and if we can ever be rid of said insult. And while everyone debates the exact definition and cause, suffering is alive and well - present and persistent, whether it is happening to you or someone you love. How frustrating is that?!?

What really raises one's indignation against suffering is not suffering intrinsically, but the senselessness of suffering.- Friedrich Nietzche, 1844-1900

     Looks like Nietzche felt the same way, and he says what it is that I am trying to say much better than anything I could consider writing. I have to say that Nietzche "gets" it:
a) He gets that it is frustrating not just to experience the trauma, but to also experience the senselessness of the trauma happening in the first place (no matter what role you are in).
b) He gets that focus is everything. He isn't focusing on how it feels to be in the initial trauma (i.e, trauma puts someone in a wheelchair) as much as he is focusing on what many people get stuck on - the why did it have to happen, (and why am I in that wheelchair). Personally, I want my focus to have a similar spin; to spend my energy recovering, not analyzing why this is happening to me and why it is making me specifically need to recover. I love Nietzche's words because I think that when we can see a difference, we can change how we think about a situation such as this, and make a choice that helps us heal.
     What I find most productive in my life in terms of healing is to focus on God first, and then the other things fall more easily into place. Of course all of that is sometimes still easier said than done!  Still, I believe that losses and hurt often need to be grieved, spoken, addressed, treated and then perhaps grieved, spoken, addressed, and treated again - whether done so with God, with others, and/or with a combination thereof.  Isn't it amazing that in terms of solidarity (and an"I am not crazy" type of way) to know that someone else more than a hundred years ago "gets" the depth of what any of us may be experiencing today?  Aside: Let's clarify that it's not glad that they had to experience it, just glad that if they did, it wasn't all for naught. It brings a sense of understanding and belonging to others in the same boat many years down the line. Ergo, you're not crazy. There's nothing wrong with the way you feel.You're not alone in being frustrated and/or in hating the unfairness of it all.
     So, no matter how frustrated you are, you are not the only ones to fail to understand why something as senselessness as suffering can be so present and persistent. I wonder if Nietche would be surprized to know that more than a hundred years after his death, people were quoting him, and feeling some solidarity with him because of his views? But I digress....

Happy solidarity-ness!

    
  


    

  




"What really raises one's indignation against suffering is not suffering intrinsically, but the senselessness of suffering."
Friedrich Nietzsche 
(1844 - 1900) "What really raises one's indignation against suffering is not suffering intrinsically, but the senselessness of suffering."
Friedrich Nietzsche 
(1844 - 1900) 

Tip #129 Weighted Wonders; Technology vortex

Warning: this is a very long post, but I got so good at ranting about the technological roller coaster I couldn't help myself! 


vor·tex (vôrtks)

n. pl. vor·tex·es or vor·ti·ces (-t-sz)

1. A spiral motion of fluid within a limited area, especially a whirling mass of water or air that sucks everything near it toward its center.

2. A place or situation regarded as drawing into its center all that surrounds it: "As happened with so many theater actors, he was swept up in the vortex of Hollywood"(New York Times).

     I think my house is a vortex for technology - the vortex in definition 2 above could have it's example read this way "As happened with so many of the efficient and effective technological devices, they were swept up in the vortex of her living room." Don't get me wrong, I can't say enough good things about technology - truly. It has changed the face of recovery in ways previously unthinkable - unimaginable really. But it also has the ability to drive one crazy. By "one," I really mean me. You too? Lets see if you can relate.
     Now, I know it sounds overly dramatic, but I am (mostly) not kidding about living in some sort of technical vortex! The proof? Let's talk about internet: I live on a farm, yes, but I don't live in the 1800's and I am not so far out of town as to be considered off-the-beaten-path. Why is that relevant? Cause I'm too far out for cable, and bell says that I am 0.2 km (218 yards for our southern friends) too far from their magic boundary line, so no high speed internet from them either! Note too, that for one of those two companies, when we called about seeing if we could get internet where we live - you might want to sit down to hear this - the company could not check to see if they could provide us with internet because their internet was down! No, really not kidding about that! How's that for convincing you to use their services? But I digress.... So, until recently, I had satellite internet - very expensive, very slow, and very unreliable; at least that was my experience. Then again, only one company was accessible out where I live (which really is only 20 minutes away from the University of Waterloo - certainly not in the boonies!).
     Hallelujah. What? Yep, hallelujah, Bell came out with a turbo hub and I can get internet out here (high speed) via Bell. Yay! no more slow satellite, and cheaper too. Nope, not cheaper after all, but faster, well that's great! Get it set up, and imagine this - it's not working. Get someone to drive back to town, and switch the new one out for a newer one. Hmmm, this one is working, but not very well. Had to go through 3 units before one worked well here. Got a TV to use as a monitor so I could actually see what I am writing/reading when I am using the internet (vision affected by meds). This took 2 installations to work, and now - the remote doesn't work with it! And, the HDMI cable that attaches the computer to the TV so I can use the TV as the monitor - was on back order. The store told me I didn't need one, then I found out we did, then it was on back order, and then finally it was there. Just then, the external hard drive started giving me grief.... Oh, and when the installers were here for the TV, they kept saying that the satellite (TV also satellite since no cable here) was not registering in most of the living room. No signal. So, the receiver can only go in one spot, and heaven forbid if it is moved a bit when someone dusts... And that's just the tip of the iceberg. There's more!
     You can talk on the cell phone in the living room if you use one carrier, but only in the study if you use another, and out on the porch for one other yet. The pharmacist nearby wanted to give me some info from her mobile device (which had a specific pharmacist-program re drug interactions), but she has to stand outside of the building to do it, and therefore could not do it while on the phone with me. My iPhone works anywhere in the house (I love my iPhone). But, others come with other devices and other carriers, and they have a host of issues... With one carrier they can only make their devices work if they are on the front porch, but not in the driveway...
    And the easier types of technology? Like, say, an all-in-one printer/fax/copier/scanner/frying pan. Okay, not a frying pan, but it does seem to do just about everything. What a wonderful device! So, we order a new all-in-one printer so that I can get wireless printing on the go (when typing from bed, not overly handy to have to have the printer beside you). We also have to fax daily, so nice to have one device, not a device for each thing we do (i.e. had to haul out the fax machine to send a fax, put it away and put the printer back to print, put it away and use the scanner..... Since I am the only technological person (and when I say I am the only technological person, I am sort of comparing my self to a m'aitre d who is asked to be the chef) in the house, it is a tricky thing to fix. Not only do I not have tons of understanding of the tech stuff, I can't actually stand at the printer to see it's buttons or messages/lights flashing, so I continually have to ask someone to go to the printer and tell me what they see. Kinda funny actually.
     Where were we? Oh ya, so we decided to buy a wireless all-in-one. We got it, and it is only web based, not wireless (who knew there was a difference? Not me!). Nearly swear at it trying to get it to work. Exchange it for another one... yep, wireless, but not good at being controlled by conflicting operating systems (mac (me) vs. PC (hubby). So, hubby prints wirelessly, and it works. I try on my mac, it doesn't work. Get it all set and reinstalled for me, and then won't work wirelessly for hubby. Decide that a new one is worth the hassle, since the hassle is less than the hassle we are already experiencing. Order a new one, send the other back. New one is accidentally the wrong one (close to right model, but off by one number). Send it back, and get the "right" new one. Ah, lovely lovely device. Perfect. Easy. Low maintenance. But lately, when you photocopy anything with our wonderful (and it really is wonderful) all-in-one printer, there is a thick black line all the way down the paper. If you scan or print, the line is not there, If you photocopy or fax, the line is there. Doesn't make sense, and the tech people we called think we're crazy. We are, but that has nothing to do with the printer. Oh wait - maybe it does - it's the technology that's driving us mad!
     Although I have been like most Joe's on the technical highway - proficient enough to do what I need to, and smart enough to ask for help when necessary - I still could not imagine the recovery process without this device, or most of the others. Whoa, what? Did I really just say that? Yes. The running joke around here is that our house really is a technological vortex. It is a powerful drug in the world of technology; it sucks devices in, and messes with their heads, and then they mess with mine. That's never good! Ug. But you know what? I have learned one very important thing despite/in spite of/ because of the vortex issues: It's worth it. Really really worth it. Why? For example, these are just a few things we do using the internet, the all-in-one (copier/fax/printer etc), and the computer that make our lives infinitely easier (in no particular order)...

• This blog. It helps me stay sane, makes me feel productive
• The internet re entertainment, and as a window into the world outside
• The internet re information/journals/medical stuff (note, only use trusted sites - more on that in another post)
• Faxing the pharmacy and medical supply company. Ordering is now easy as pie each week and much less time consuming too (and fewer errors)
• Faxing the doctor. When we have questions or updates between appointments nothing is lost in translation by trying to explain things to whoever answers the phone there... And he can fax back when he has a moment, not when I am calling... etc.

     Again, that's a VERY small list of what we use all the tech stuff for. And until we got things working so efficiently, things were chaotic here, which is not very conducive to recovering. Not at all. Nope. Nada. Nowadays, so much here works like a well oiled machine that it cuts down on time, stress, energy spent, mistakes (errors on our end and on that of others we deal with too, as the proof is in the pudding, er, or, I mean writing), and so much more!
     And, I do have to say this too - I know not everyone agrees, but I say that if you are considering purchasing devices for use in recovering from traumatic illness and/or injury, buy an apple if at all possible. I know I have written about the iPhone and the iPad a few times, and that they are handy for recovery in a plethora of ways. However, there is one "hidden" amazing perk too: Apple Care Plan.  
     The Apple Care plan is easy to ignore, just like most don't want to pay for the "extra warranty" option when buying large ticket items like dishwashers. BUT, if you do buy this option, you have access to apple every minute of every day for a few years. And, unlike most companies I have dealt with, their knowledge, service, and response time (immediate, no waiting) is outstanding. I call them regularly, and they teach me how to do all sorts of things. No, it's not just outstanding service, it's mind-blowing outstanding service. This is really really great when you want to save your energy for recovering, not for figuring out how to do something that isn't working the way you want it to. Okay, my aside is over.
     Boy am I long-winded! Okay, almost done... I'd like to leave you with a quote I heard on Criminal Minds, one of my favourite shows: "I urge you not to abandon reason." Well, I must confess that the technological vortex sometimes makes me want to abandon all reason. But, since the technology itself makes recovering more "survivable" on so many levels, well,  I think I'm actually able to hold on to the small amount of reason I still possess during the recovery process because of technology. How ironic is that? So, when you are weighing which (if any) technological wonders you are ready or able to use, maybe pause and ask yourself this: are the glitches are worth it?  I say yes. Most days:) But that's just me. Until next time....

Happy abandoning un-abandoning reason and technology!

Tip #168 Wise Words Wednesday; Humour and Healing

 Humor is healing

-Brad Garrett 

     I think that Brad Garrett is hillarious - especially when you see him interviewing children. He's  quite a character. Apparently he is also a philosopher... and a good one at that given his wise words above. If only healing could be humerous.... 

     While we are discussing wise words from a television personality, allow me to quote another personality - Phil McGraw. Now, no offence to Dr. Phil or anyone who adores him, but he doesn't often have me as a viewer. Having said that, I have seen a few of his shows, and one sentence from him really got me thinking... He said:

How much fun are you to live with?

-Dr. Phil McGraw

     I think that's a wise question for us to ask ourselves whenever in a period of stress, anxiety, trauma, etc. It's easy to be overwhelmed when dealing with terminal or chronic medical issues day in and day out. Unfortunately fatigue compounds that experience too. Not good. But, if we keep the above question in mind, it might be a good to: 

a) remember that this situation is not only happening to you, but to your loved one too, and 

b) evaluate how you are treating others/responding or reacting to others and

c) act upon anything that feels unresolved or inappropriate in "a" and "b" above. There is no shame in not knowing how to do so, but if you find yourself in that spot, counsellors are great resources for such discussions and healing.

     So know that I am not saying that you can/should never be upset, even when tired, and that you have to be fake or put a smile on for someone to want to live with you. Nope. It's not your responsibility to make another person happy, or your fault if they are not. It's just a little reminder that sometimes we aren't ourselves when in crisis, and if that crisis lasts for a while, then it's easy for relationships to suffer. And, well, that doesn't help anything. So, I think I am going to lay back, google Brad Garrett to try to see if he has any videos online and have a good laugh. 

Happy humour, and happy healing!

     

     

Tip #59 Wise Words Wednesday; Charlotte's Cup

     I am a huge fan of the Bronte sisters. Not only do I like their work - Jane Eyre is still one of my favourite books - but I like what I have learned about them as people too. Emily, Jane, and Charlotte Bronte were incredible women and three of the most famous female authors of our time. Today's quote is from Charlotte:

Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs.

-Charlotte Bronte

     The process of recovery can be difficult at the best of times, and can be most frustrating when politics make it difficult to get you or a loved one the care they need. People get scared, worried, and/or frustrated about politics but also about limitations, and complications that arise in the recovery process. But I agree with Charlotte; Life is short - and I'd rather be a glass half full person. It doesn't always work that way, but, I do think we have a choice in looking at that glass and decide it's not half empty. On that note, here a few things about the sisters that I find inspiring in general, and that I believe transfer to the world of recovery as well.

1. They overcame much in life, and enriched our lives in doing so. Sad circumstances such as the death of their parents at an early age, terrible boarding schools, etc. were woven in to their beautiful stories. They used the "ickyness" to move forward in life. Hmmm, recovery is often icky.... 
2. They supported and encouraged one another. Since their books are still mandatory reading in our schools today, I'd say that their team-work model is a successful one. For instance, Charlotte did all she could to convince Emily to publish her poetry when Emily had no plans at all to ever consider publishing it. In fact, they were all very committed to having their work published together. If we could all learn to focus on ourselves less and on each other more - well, the sisters have shown us what encouraging one another can lead to.... Imagine the possibilities!
3. They affected change from within a realm in which they were not allowed entrance. Not only did they do that, but they consequently achieved their dreams. It was nearly unheard of - and quite unseemly - to publish books if you were a female. So, they published under male names, and once they had found great success they revealed their secret. Instead of being bitter and no longer writing, they chose to pursue their dreams the only way they knew how. Their actions created a paradigm shift in how woman and their literary abilities were accepted! 

     Though I may not have chosen the Bronte's exact method of changing politics from within to achieve their goals, I do think that today we too must be creative about fighting the politics from within the health care system. Although much has changed since the Bronte's days, politics are inevitable at all times, so we must learn to deal with them, and to do so without going mad, or spilling that proverbial cup of water. If we who use the system do not speak up and speak out about both a) what is working and b) what is not, then how can we expect change to suddenly materialize? For now, lets just try to keep our minds focused on responding not reacting to the "wrongs," celebrating the "rights"with those you love and who love you, and taking the time to enjoy the victories of today, no matter how small. Life is short; try to enjoy it.
    

Happy Glass-half-full-cup'n it!

Tip #2 Nutrition Nuggets; Acquired and Required

     Just what is it that is both required and acquired? If you have needed extra calories due to severe illness, trauma, or caring for someone thereof, you probably know the answer to the fore-mentioned question. For those who don't, let me tell you; Feed.

    Hey, wait a minute, isn't the term "feed" meant for cattle and other such beasts? Nope, not entirely. In the world of recovery-nutrition, feed is the term used to describe what is essentially formula, but made for adults not babies.

     I have to say that there are not many perks to having a feeding tube (I consider living as a given rather than a perk). In fact, I don't think that a feeding tube has any perks at all, save one; if you are recovering and you need a lot of calories/specific nutrients then it's a perk. Why? Because it's especially lovely NOT to taste it as it is infused into your stomach via the tube, rather than via the many taste buds present in your mouth!

     All kidding aside, not too many people enjoy the items they must drink in order to get the calories and nutrients that they so desperately need. I know that many people get used to the drinks, some even like them, but I don't know too many people who do....BUT, and this is a large "but" (appropriate under the circumstances?), guess what? You don't have to drink it that way!

     Somewhere along the line, a dietitian taught me how to make some of those "nutrition" drinks more palatable, by adding all sorts of good, functional, yummy, and still (mostly) healthy things. So, whether you are having carnation instant breakfasts or something similar to supplement your diet, or boost or ensure, peptamin, or jevity etc. as full meal replacements you can make your drink tasty (well, at least tasti-er). As a side note I must say that I quite liked the carnation ones - though they are not meant to do the same things as traditional feed. Still, the drinks got boring after a while (only 3 flavours), so mixing it up was lovely.

*Disclaimer; the following are suggestions to make said drinks more tasty and should not be attempted without the approval of your dietitian, speech pathologist, or physician.*

If you have a magic bullet, a blender, or some really hefty elbow grease, try the following combinations:

• Add the following to chocolate flavoured drinks
• A mashed banana, and a tbsp. of peanut butter
• A mashed banana, a tbsp of peanut butter, and a tsp. strawberry jam
• A mashed banana and chocolate syrup
• 2 Tbsp peanut butter and chocolate syrup to taste
• Add the following to strawberry flavoured drinks
• 1/4 cup plain or vanilla yogurt
• White hot chocolate powder
• Raspberries and or a mashed banana
• Actual strawberries
• Add the following to vanilla flavoured drinks
• Peaches and/or plums
• Blueberries
• Caramel sauce
• Chocolate and Banana
• Pears and plums 
• Peaches and Raspberries
• Peaches, Raspberries, Plums, blueberries and caramel sauce

     The possibilities are endless - don't be afraid to experiment. I personally like the carnation drinks the best, and especially with combinations of the above in them. Note though that they are aimed at the main stream (not recovery targeted like other drinks), and so they should not replace feed or be used as a feed supplement unless given the go-ahead from the appropriate medical team members involved in your care (like the dietitian). I hope these ideas kick-start you into creating some fun new flavours, and that you don't need to worry about getting an acquired taste for required supplements or feed.

Happy taste-bud tickling!

Tip #287 Frugal Fixes: Glorious Gloves

     Okay, so I know they don't look so glorious, but for you diva's out there at least they are pink!   Why such a long glove (or any at all), and why do they look suspiciously like veterinary gloves? Well, lets look at the latter first. Yes, they are indeed veterinary gloves. But, you don't need to be a vet to use them, and you don't need to have a cow to want to use them, and you don't need any special designation or title in order to buy them. Nope.Not at all. But, they are still very handy (sorry about the pun, I couldn't contain myself!).  So, why are they of interest here? Well, it's hard to get anything more perfect to cover wounds so you can bathe without getting said wounds wet.

     After many types of surgery, you are not allowed to get your wound wet for quite some time. Ergo, you can't have a proper shower. The same is true when you have a central line of any kind (much like having an IV but it's a direct link to your heart and thus it can be especially dangerous to get those kinds of wounds wet). Over the years I myself, and many others I know have worked at finding quickly applied, easy to use, and effective protection from infection in order to shower worry-free. We've been very creative, and we've tried various types of saran and Ziploc/glad bags, cut, not cut, various tapes, dressings, part of a rain coat, and the list just starts to get more unusual from there. 

     BUT, as it turns out, vet gloves are a happy solution for many wound-protecting situations. They are great. What was our criteria? 

Quick to apply. Check. 

Easy to use. Check. Put them on, and seal the end with waterproof tape.

Effective protection. Check.

And a criteria not yet listed: cheap. That's the biggest check; a very frugal fix!!

     Back to the waterproof tape - that's an important step. You can use water resistant tapes too. They are cheaper, and either kind is readily available at most local pharmacies. A roll is usually less than three dollars and will last you a long time, since the gloves don't require much to seal them. 

 Side note: No matter what protection you use, it will get sweaty under the dressing, and that is icky and itchy. Suggestions?  If you are careful, you can easily cut holes in the fingers of your gloves before you put them on, but then you must keep your hand down (in the shower) or up (in the bathtub) so you don't compromise the effectiveness. At least that way you still have SOME protection, but be VERY careful if you do so. Plan B? Take cooler and shorter baths/showers, and remove the glove ASAP.

     Ahhhh, glorious gloves. At least for us, when we don't need them anymore, we can use them in the barn!  Well, it's crazy, but it works; you'd be surprized at how many items from the farming world carry over to the human health realm.... but that's another story. 

     An added bonus? There isn't as much tape to re-moo-ve because of the way the gloves fit ;P! And, if you're careful you can reuse the gloves, but I suggest you don't. I'm frugal, but I like to ensure that I am safe too!! And they are cheap enough in most places (30 cents is common) that you won't feel too guilty about letting them go once used. Have fun!

Happy singing in the shower!