Tip #136 Wise Words Wednesday;The Ninja Report

     I've often wondered if Ninja's truly exist. Well, I am sure that they do, but I guess I mean do the "TV-and-Hollywood-Land" ideas of what a Ninja may be - do they exist? Whether they do or not, the big and little screens have surely given us enough info that we can look at someone in marshal arts training and declare whether or not they are of ninja-status, or a million miles away from ever reaching that goal. What does this have to do with recovery from severe illness and/or trauma and/or caregiving for someone thereof? I promise it will make sense soon (at least, I hope it will!).
     I was watching TV one day, and a guy named Ted was talking to a guy named Marshall. Here's their conversation:

Marshall: "... So I was meant to turn in a report about using 23-b-3 Spurious Class Action Precedent to contest a class certification order based on lack of commonality and numerosity..."  

Ted: Dude, you lost us, can you just call it something cool like "The Ninja Report" or something?   

Marshall: Okay, yeah, fine whatever.... So, um I was supposed to turn in "The Ninja Report" yesterday.  

Ted and Group: Ooh, wow, cool...

     I laughed hard at this, and immediately decided to add the "ninja report" to my vocabulary (and I must say it works very well)! The Urban Dictionary has the conversation and a definition too, but I think the definition is obvious enough once you've read the conversation above.
     Here's the part where it relates to us: Do you find that people stop asking what is wrong, or what test you are having, or if you are okay with things, or if you are making progress? Or, do you feel like you don't want to answer specifically, or you want to share something, but can't put it into a non-embarrassing or uncomplicated way? And/or maybe you find that communicating with those you love about all of this medical stuff is complicated and aren't sure about what is or isn't okay to say or how to say it? More often than not people feel that their loved don't care if they don't ask. But, sometimes they don't ask because a) they are afraid they won't understand (which is a very valid point) , and/or b) that the details of your trauma aren't all that interesting and/or appropriate/easy to hear without panicking, etc. and c) they'd rather not know 'cause it's hard.
     Well, obviously some of these things could be addressed in a hundred ways and very in-depth. I'm no social worker, but I think I have stumbled onto a potentially easy way to make some of those conversations feel better, or go better. It's worked for me already.  If we're lucky, there will even be some laughing involved and that's almost always a good way to start to improve such situations.  Sound impressive? Well, we are talking about the power of ninja's here aren't we? Here's a silly example, but a real one I have witnessed...
So, you're sitting at the dinner table with the family, and Jane (whoever she happens to be). You ask...
Conversation 1) 
How are you Jane? Well, all week I've been trying to move my bowels, and it just isn't working. I've tried Senkot, Dulcolax, PEG crystals, and I've been sitting on the toilet for hours and I just still can't go. I wonder if the sloughing off of the colon itself produces a pound or a.... well, you get the picture.
Conversation 2) (the Ninja Version)
How are you Jane? Well, I am quite exhausted/frustrated. The ninja report was due 12 days ago and it is still not in. I'm working hard at it, but I just can't produce the result I need to. Jane didn't actually have conversation 2, but I suspect both she and her family member would have liked it.
     I'm not saying that there is never an appropriate time to have conversation number 1. Not at all. There are times when it is appropriate to discuss such things with certain people. Still, even if that is so, it can be tricky for others to keep up when you are talking about something so far out of their realm of experience and understanding. And if that's the case, you're not alone, and that's okay. But if you are having conversation number 2, don't you think it would be tricky to not giggle while you are saying the words, knowing only you understand the double meaning? I digress....
     Remember how we said that Hollywood has given us the ability to look at a marshal arts expert and declare whether or not they seems to have ninja status? It might not be the right understanding exactly, but it is enough understanding to be able to talk about ninja's. How good or bad a Ninja might be, what they wear and/or the weapons they use, etc. Well, that's the goal of the ninja report tactic -  providing understanding in a nice neat package, without complicating details.
     So, if you're in a tricky-to-explain situation, an I'm-embarrassed-but need-to-talk situation (and this role is often reversed as well), or a you-don't-need-to-know-my-exact-business kind of deal just because you'd like to, or many other such situations; be a conversational Ninja! Use your Ninja conversational skills and be a fast, efficient, strong, clear and brave conversationalist, and a little bit silly-looking too:) Hiiiyeahh!

Happy Reporting!