Tip #330 Patience Patients; Zzzzzzz's via Your A, B, C's

     What can feel worse than not being able to get to sleep when you know you need it most? Whether you are a caregiver or someone who is recovering from serious illness or trauma, I think there is only one answer: Knowing you are not going to be able to sleep when you need it so badly. It doesn't seem to be a big distinction I know, but I think it is. How so?
     Well, for starters, knowing you can't sleep is like knowing you're going to get stitches (and lets say without any freezing just for fun) at some point in the evening. You don't know when it will happen exactly, but you think about it, wait for it, and psych yourself up for it, telling yourself it will be fine. You are nervous about it, and frustrated that it hasn't happened yet, but you are okay. Then, three more hours pass without a word, and your restlessness is starting to get out of hand. So now I ask you this: What is worse? Is the procedure worse if you've been focusing on it - preparing for it all night, or is the pain of actually getting those stitches worse?
     Well, I know that I find it easier to jump off a 40 foot bridge into water if I haven't been staring down at the water for 10 minutes. For me it is easier to jump when you haven't deliberated too much. So, I'd say the anticipation of the event is more often worse than the event itself - for bridges, for stitches, and of course, for sleeping too! (By the way, I used to think I was invincible and did all sorts of thing like bridge jumping, etc. I do NOT recommend it, nor do I recommend that you never think about consequences before making decisions. In my case I knew I was making that jump. The decision was made - it was just the logistics of it that were up for grabs!).
     So, speaking of logistics - some would say that accepting the probability of not being able to go to sleep (or back to sleep) is self-defeating, and you'll never get a good night's sleep if you think that way. While I agree that pessimism isn't generally all that helpful, I don't think accepting a troublesome fact is pessimistic - just realistic, and ideally that realism is still paired with hope for the best outcome.
So then, why do I believe that accepting that you are having trouble sleeping can be a good thing? It's hard to fight something you can't see or acknowledge (of course accepting trouble sleeping as a fact is only helpful if you are actually are having trouble sleeping! LOL!). Okay, so if it is actually an issue, consider sleeping as a parallel to knowing you are going to jump off that bridge; you've acknowledged what will in all likelihood happen when you go to sleep (jump), and all that's left to do then is to figure out the logistics. Of course, each night can be different- as can the outcome of every jump. But in both cases, practicing helps.
     For instance, for me - a lack of sleep is usually related to not being able to shut my brain down. Therefore, much like you do with a toddler when you want to help them lose their tears and be happy again - I use distraction. How? With the alphabet. Yep, I did say the alphabet. The alphabet method may not be the right method for you, but what do you have to lose if you try it? You're certainly not going to be missing sleep over it! So, here's the deal:
1) Pick a broad category. For example fruits and vegetables, or cars and trucks, or people you are related to, or TV shows, etc.
2) Starting at any letter you want (I usually start with m for some reason), name two or three things within the category. So, my fruit and veggie words go like this: melon, mango, mushroom.....
3) Work at it like it is something you want to really do well at - try not to quit just because you can't think of anything for certain letters; just move along to the next letter.
4) Count them.You don't need to do so, but counting keeps me more focused and more motivated. I get a point per word, and lose a point for each letter for which I can't come up with an answer. Before you ask, yes, I am aware of how silly and crazy that sounds, but it is what it is:)
     I hope this method will be a good tool in your go-to-sleep-arsenal for you. Barring that, I hope you find all sorts of heathy distractions, and that sleeping becomes easier each night. Of course nothing will be perfect 100% of the time, so don't expect perfection. There should be no pressure on yourself if any technique, coping strategy, person, or situation isn't cooperating with your efforts in that direction. If it's not working, just put it away, and use a different tool for now.
     Personally, I have used this strategy many many times, with varied categories over the years - it doesn't always work, but even when it doesn't get me to sleep, it gets me thinking about more relaxing things, which in itself is a great relief. I have done this with categories such as girl names, school subjects, names of atoms, songs, scriptures, animals (one for domestic, one for wild), and things that I love about people in my life.
     Do you know the category that works best for me? Blessing counting. I am aware that it might sound trite or cheesy to say so, but it's true. It works well in helping me get to sleep or get back to sleep, because it truly makes me feel better, not just sleep better. It becomes my stored-in-my-head gratitude list of things to thank God for, both in ordinary life, and amidst turmoil too.

And, of course - I do it alphabetically, and starting with the letter m.

Happy A, B, Zzzzeee-ing!