Tip #188 Frightening Fear; Sharing the Journey

     Have you ever been camping (in a tent, or a rustic cabin), and had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night? Usually the trip is just fine, but on other days, for whatever reason, the trip seems like a really scary thing. There are no lights after all, and, where we camp at least, there are sometimes roving bears looking for food, wolves, the odd porcupine, and, of course, various creatures from the depths of our imaginations. And what do you do on those days that getting to the bathroom is nervewracking? One solution is to ask your travel companion(s) to go with you. You turn on the flashlight, link arms, and go off into the night.

     My theory on why that makes a difference is not only that there is strength in numbers, or that two heads are better than one, though I am sure those reasons are valid too. No, the biggest reason to me is that it is a shared experience. No amount of describing is ever going to prepare someone who wasn't there for what was going on, how you felt in that moment, or feel the goosebumps you felt when you heard the wolves howl. And, others may even tease you (rightly so in this case!). 

     On a more serious note, the same is true of dealing with looking death in the face, or even a long recovery straight on. If they're not with you, it is hard to feel like people get it, no matter how hard they may try, be they patient, caregiver, or loved one. So, when you find someone who has traveled a similar journey, there's a sense of not being so alone, not having to explain, and a closeness that is invaluable. No one wants someone else to go through fear, but if you have to, it helps when you can know another who has walked that road. Today I found a blog "Go Val Go" and it made me feel that way. I saw that she had a similar scar from a similar procedure. I saw her friends supporting her, and I saw her fighting. The fighting is my favourite part. And even though I don't know her, she has comforted me. She wrote a poem of "Random Thoughts" that was significant to me, and talks about the fight.  It spoke volumes to me, and I hope it does to you too. Here's the link: http://govaleriego.blogspot.com/2010/10/random-thoughts.html   Have a great day!