Tip #418 Wise Words Wednesday; No Stick in the Mud

     I've always wondered how the phrase (he/she is) "a stick in the mud" came to be. If you look it up on online dictionaries, being a stick in the muck can mean anything from being unimaginative to being boring, unimportant, a coloured blimp (seriously?), and more. Generally speaking though, I think we can agree that being a figurative stick in the mud does not seem to be a good thing - and for that matter to be literally stuck in the mud doesn't seem all that appetizing either. So, most people avoid mud. They don't want their vehicles stuck in it, their dogs to track it in, and people really really don't like to be called anything in the mud, be it a stick or anything else for that matter!
     In a thousand ways, severe illness/trauma or the caregiving thereof can feel a whole lot like being stuck in the mud. It feels like the body is immersed in it; movement is slower, requiring help to get out of it is a big probability, it's weight can feel oppressive, and it's icky (for a lack of a better word), and, that's over and above all of the afore mentioned characteristics of mud above. 
     But you know what? Mud is not always the worst thing in the world. Some people actually pay to soak in specific types of mud. They also do mud facials, and other mud related spa treatments. Kids make hamburger patties out of mud for outside tea/BBQ parties. Pigs love to roll in it, kids like to stand in it when it's all squishy after a rain, and, apparently, there are those that will wrestle in it:). 


Mud. Not entirely good, not entirely bad. It just is what it is. 


The interesting part to me is the whole spa angle of it - not that I've ever been to one. But here's the thing: you want opulence? Soak in med. Who thought that was a good idea in the beginning of it all? Hey Marcy, you're skin looks raw…. maybe we should try slathering your face in mud, let it dry, and see how it feels after that. Sounds logical doesn't it? 
The point? Mud can serve a purpose. Not everyone wants to take the mud option or experience that particular purpose, but it's abilities to heal/help skin is not dependent on you believing it's good for you - it just is (usually anyway).


 I think life's mud serves a purpose too. Recently, a woman I greatly respect on my medical team, Ms. Mc gave me some encouraging words. 

"No mud, no lotus" ~ Thich Nhat Hahn  

Ms. Mc said that he (Thich Nhat Hahn) goes on to explain, "There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus."

Again, you don't have to like being in the mud - that whole oppressive ickiness feeling that mud can give you doesn't have to be fun in order to produce beautiful things. And I'm not saying that you are experiencing some twisted sick joke just so you can become a lotus. But, mud grows the lotus. So, don't forget to enjoy the lotus - and to appreciate the mud that brought it to you. And if you can, when you're in the middle of the mud, remember there's a lotus to look forward to. They're quite beautiful... and these blue ones? They symbolize victory. 

  Happy Victories!

Tip #123 Patience Patients; Hope in Resolutions

Happy New Year everyone!

Can you believe that Christmas is over and we are into another new year already? Where does time go? Does it feel like it's hard to believe another year has gone by, and yet at the same time feel like one year has been more like a thousand years given the health circumstances of late? If so, you're not alone. Have you dreaded the thought of answering the most common January question about resolutions? And have you wondered why on earth someone would think you would be crazy enough to add some additional kind of work to your already full (recovery/caregiving) plate? Again, I assure you that you are not alone! My, how good we (all of society) are at making life complicated sometimes.... My vote? If you are going to entertain the idea of making resolutions, don't forget to fuel them with hope, or you will risk crashing in a big way.
As a whole I don't think resolutions are terrible - and in fact I appreciate that so many resolutions involve the desire to make good physical choices (exercising, losing weight, eating right, etc). But, let's face it - aside from celebrating the coming of the new year (if that's even important to you), the new year is all about making resolutions that are notorious for being nearly impossible to keep. For example, in the context of serious health issues, how does one resolve to get better anyhow? You can't just will your body to heal on your timetable. You can try - the Lord knows I have, but if you could really will it away that way, I'd be doing anything but what I am now - which is writing from my hospital bed in the middle of our living room where I have been confined for a few years now. And still, we make unrealistic resolutions every year. We aren't always the sharpest knives in the drawer are we? Don't worry, that's rhetorical;0.
Okay, so back to hope. Where does hope fit into the mix? I believe that if you truly have the hope deep within yourself that it is possible to reach your goals, you'll be much more likely to fight for those goals. Otherwise it's self defeating (eg."well, that's okay that it didn't work out, I didn't really want it that bad anyway") isn't it? And what if hope is too hard to conjure up? Borrow it. Yep, I said borrow it. Borrow it from someone who is able to believe that what you hope for is not only possible, but probable too. It may be from God, family, friends, and sometimes even from strangers, but wherever it comes from - borrow it!
How does one borrow hope? Well, have you ever in your life held onto hope for someone else who was unable for some reason or too afraid to hold onto any hope themselves? Hope that their child would survive an accident or surgery, that they would truly find a partner, or be a mom, or get that doctorate or excel at something they were too afraid to hope was possible? Consider asking them to do this for you now. Ask them to regularly tell you when they notice you've made progress that you likely don't or can't see (much like seeing a child once a month would look dramatically different to the observer than it would for the parent seeing that child everyday). Ask them to remind you that before all of this illness that you accomplished much - and that you will still be able to in the future, even if it is in different ways or in different ways just for now. Ideally you already have someone who does this without being asked, but if not, try not to be too proud to ask; a little extra hope goes a long way! We all need cheerleaders in our lives, and so we must remember to do this for others/each other.
That's all fine and dandy, but how do the hope and the resolutions work together in all practicality? First, I believe that the only resolutions needed are to a) Be cheerleaders for others - encouraging them, believing in them, and lending them strength and hope and b) to boldly ask others to do that for us too - especially when hope is too scary to fathom on our own. From there, my personal hope comes from God and in those people I believe God has blessed me with in my life. I truly believe that anything is possible with God, and that is where I get my strength. I understand however that this may not be your experience, and I respect where you are on your journey in life. I wish you much hope, unstoppable peace, and an abundance of support - both from known and unexpected places.
In closing, as for my hopes for 2012? I hope that you have little - or no recovering or caregiving left to do because all is well. I hope that this year brings you much peace, laughter, love, and precious time with family and friends (especially with the wee ones who bring so much joy to one and all!)! And finally, from the bottom of my heart I wish you much hope.

Happy New Year!!

Tip # 97 Frugal fixes; Wave it Away

     Wave what away? Here's the skinny on it - er, should I say "Here's the skin on it?" Yep, I'm talking about skin care. Why? Whether a minor issue or a major one, skin difficulties are common during the recovery process. In the near future I will be addressing bedsores, and other medical skin related issues. Today though, I'm simply addressing something common to many but more prevalent in illness: crazy dry skin. Nope, simply saying dry skin doesn't cover it… I mean crazy dry skin. What's the deal?

• Lots of medications "dry you out," as they say; dry your mouth, dry your skin, give you dry eyes… hopefully you don't have to take said meds indefinitely. If it's too bothersome, ask your pharmacist/physician if there are other options available.
• Dehydration and dry skin go hand in hand - and if you are not feeling well, and/or you are nauseated and/or you don't have much energy or ability to ambulate, you may have to get creative about making sure you're getting enough water. Make drinking a priority.
• Ironically, showing or bathing too often also dries your skin out - but only if you're bathing too often, and/or staying in the bath too long (it would be helpful if "too often" and "too long" had an exact definition, but apparently it's different for everyone)… The hitch is that sometimes you end up bathing more often and for a longer time (like soaking in the tub for an hour each night to reduce pain in addition to your regular morning shower, etc). Lather up with cream when you get out if you can - if you're still a little wet when you apply it, that's even better.
• If you've had a cast on your leg for 6 weeks, you'll see that presto-magico you have a shrivelled muscle (complete with a very hairy leg I might add!) and very dry, very flaky, and very sensitive skin. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to prevent this, but there is a help to treat it - it's the wave.

     What wave? The Neutrogena wave. I LOVE it! I'm not one to spend a ton of money on beauty products, but frankly, I would spend money on this if I had too! Due to my meds, my dehydration, and other factors, my skin feels as dry as mud - until I use my wave. You put a little round pad on the wave, wet it, and turn it on; it vibrates as it gently exfoliates. The mud that is my face becomes silky smooth. It also works on the scrawny hairy leg that comes out of the cast, and makes the leg feel better too. It's amazing really. In all the years I've been ill and on drying meds, I have never found anything quite so lovely for my skin. And, it's cheap. And the refill pads are cheap too.
     So, it doesn't fit or fix every dry skin situation, but the wave sure does make a difference. And, face it, if there is something inexpensive that is going to make you feel more human in this whole crazy recovery situation, that's fantastic! Lastly, it turns out that if you have a little one in your life (like my 1 year old Ms. M), if you turn the wave on and put it on a hard surface in front of them, the vibrating wave will bounce around and make a fun noise and result in much awe and many giggles. Can't beat that!
  
Happy waving away!