Tip #123 Patience Patients; Hope in Resolutions

Happy New Year everyone!

Can you believe that Christmas is over and we are into another new year already? Where does time go? Does it feel like it's hard to believe another year has gone by, and yet at the same time feel like one year has been more like a thousand years given the health circumstances of late? If so, you're not alone. Have you dreaded the thought of answering the most common January question about resolutions? And have you wondered why on earth someone would think you would be crazy enough to add some additional kind of work to your already full (recovery/caregiving) plate? Again, I assure you that you are not alone! My, how good we (all of society) are at making life complicated sometimes.... My vote? If you are going to entertain the idea of making resolutions, don't forget to fuel them with hope, or you will risk crashing in a big way.
As a whole I don't think resolutions are terrible - and in fact I appreciate that so many resolutions involve the desire to make good physical choices (exercising, losing weight, eating right, etc). But, let's face it - aside from celebrating the coming of the new year (if that's even important to you), the new year is all about making resolutions that are notorious for being nearly impossible to keep. For example, in the context of serious health issues, how does one resolve to get better anyhow? You can't just will your body to heal on your timetable. You can try - the Lord knows I have, but if you could really will it away that way, I'd be doing anything but what I am now - which is writing from my hospital bed in the middle of our living room where I have been confined for a few years now. And still, we make unrealistic resolutions every year. We aren't always the sharpest knives in the drawer are we? Don't worry, that's rhetorical;0.
Okay, so back to hope. Where does hope fit into the mix? I believe that if you truly have the hope deep within yourself that it is possible to reach your goals, you'll be much more likely to fight for those goals. Otherwise it's self defeating (eg."well, that's okay that it didn't work out, I didn't really want it that bad anyway") isn't it? And what if hope is too hard to conjure up? Borrow it. Yep, I said borrow it. Borrow it from someone who is able to believe that what you hope for is not only possible, but probable too. It may be from God, family, friends, and sometimes even from strangers, but wherever it comes from - borrow it!
How does one borrow hope? Well, have you ever in your life held onto hope for someone else who was unable for some reason or too afraid to hold onto any hope themselves? Hope that their child would survive an accident or surgery, that they would truly find a partner, or be a mom, or get that doctorate or excel at something they were too afraid to hope was possible? Consider asking them to do this for you now. Ask them to regularly tell you when they notice you've made progress that you likely don't or can't see (much like seeing a child once a month would look dramatically different to the observer than it would for the parent seeing that child everyday). Ask them to remind you that before all of this illness that you accomplished much - and that you will still be able to in the future, even if it is in different ways or in different ways just for now. Ideally you already have someone who does this without being asked, but if not, try not to be too proud to ask; a little extra hope goes a long way! We all need cheerleaders in our lives, and so we must remember to do this for others/each other.
That's all fine and dandy, but how do the hope and the resolutions work together in all practicality? First, I believe that the only resolutions needed are to a) Be cheerleaders for others - encouraging them, believing in them, and lending them strength and hope and b) to boldly ask others to do that for us too - especially when hope is too scary to fathom on our own. From there, my personal hope comes from God and in those people I believe God has blessed me with in my life. I truly believe that anything is possible with God, and that is where I get my strength. I understand however that this may not be your experience, and I respect where you are on your journey in life. I wish you much hope, unstoppable peace, and an abundance of support - both from known and unexpected places.
In closing, as for my hopes for 2012? I hope that you have little - or no recovering or caregiving left to do because all is well. I hope that this year brings you much peace, laughter, love, and precious time with family and friends (especially with the wee ones who bring so much joy to one and all!)! And finally, from the bottom of my heart I wish you much hope.

Happy New Year!!