Our ability to manage the energy that we are expending each day (aka energy conservation in medical lingo) can dramatically affect our ability to cope well. Have you ever been with a 4 year old who has been up way too late and has trouble coping with anything at all the next day? That usually means more crying, more distress, and more frustration with tasks and with other individuals. Essentially, it's the same with recovery. The more you are able to conserve energy, the better shape you are in (emotionally and physically), and the more you are able to cope.
Now, I know that is easier said than done. One of the complexities of being so ill is that one day is not going to be the same as the next. There are setbacks, unexpected victories (thank goodness!), and outside realities that affect our plans. Still, it's manageable. I say, DON"T GIVE UP! You CAN do this! How? I interviewed a Clinical Psychologist for a project I was working on a few years ago, and one of the things she told me about was a method of managing energy expenditure while in recovery and beyond. She said she asks people to plot out energy expenditures for the day. In the mean time I have adapted this method several times, and adopted it for my own life too. I will share this concept with you below, but would like to first say that frankly I can no longer be sure how much of the original concept was hers, though a great deal of it is mine (I'm trying to not take credit for an idea that was hers). Still, however you cut it, I now have two methods that have been successful for both myself and others time and time again.
So, let's regroup here for a minute. Managing energy expenditures = a better ability to cope = a better ability to choose cheer every day. Here are the 2 slightly different methods for managing energy:
1) For those of you who are Type A-ish, or who have long periods where the level of recovery remains the same for extended periods of time:
- Allot yourself 10 units of energy each day. There's no physical work to do here, only mental. Decide to equate the amount of energy you have in a day to 10 separate units.
- You may wish to write a small list of regular activities, and assign them points (washing hair at sink is 1 point, an appointment at an out of town hospital is 10 points, etc. as they pertain to you).
- Plan ahead: Have a nursing visit at home on Monday that is 4 points. Should not plan anything else on Monday because I want to save 3 points for other medical tasks I need to do each day, which leaves me with another 3 points for the day for joy/positive items (like watching a movie with your honey, having a friend over, etc).
- Very very important:
- Try to balance the items you have to do (anything medical, and other responsibilities), with items you want to do, or that bring you joy. How many joy-points do you need each day to feel contentment and more able to choose cheer? If you don't have 3 to use, what can you get rid of to make room for 3? Remember too, that you can say NO to some things. It would be good to learn how to say no if you haven't already acquired that skill!
- If you don't feel like you can do 10 units on any particular day, then don't. It isn't failure, it's actually success; it means you are listening to your body, and not pushing yourself so hard that you have a setback. The number is a guideline to help you plan appropriately.
- For the extended recovery phases people, don't be afraid to push the limits a bit now and then to make sure that you are not missing an opportunity to be functioning at a higher level. Needless to say, I don't need to give that instruction to the Type A's :)
2) For those of you who like to live moment to moments (hippie love child way maybe?), and those of you whose recovery is never consistent (every day is different):
- When you get up each morning, think about how you feel. Is this a day with only 3 energy units? With 6? Decide on a value between 1 and 10.
- As much as you can, plan out what you would like to accomplish energy-wise? Again, start with the non-negotiables like doing a particular medical routine, and your personal routine. Then add in your joy items. Sometimes you'll need to decide that since you wash your hair each day, you can go a day without it so that you can have time to play a game with a child, go for a walk, write in a journal, or whatever it is that brings you joy.
- With all of the above in mind, be willing to reshape the day over and over again. As you are choosing your day's items, you might have a, well, lets call it a hiccup, but really it means a fall, too much pain, a panic attack, an allergic reaction... an exacerbation of whatever it is that has has caused you to be this ill in the first place. That's not overly fun, but it's okay, it's manageable. Hopefully, the ability to adjust the number of units as you go is still helpful. For instance, I thought I had 8 units to work with, and after a fall now I only have 2. How do I intentionally want to spend those last 2 units? Regrouping is good.
- Very, very important: When your health changes minute to minute it is hard to not only get joy items done, but to get done medically what you are supposed to in a day to get better. That's hard. But because it's so hard, I think this concept of managing energy (deciding day by day how many units you have), is especially important. Even if it helps you make a conscious decision to do one thing for joy in the day, that one thing can make all the difference in the world.
The Apostle Paul said (when in chains) "I have learned to be content no matter what the circumstances" (I paraphrased there). I believe it is possible, and it is my goal - whatever the circumstances! I've always been inspired by this, and I hope you are too. I know that managing energy is not as easy to carry out as getting that 4 year old to bed at the right time, but it is doable. You have an opportunity to manage your energy and make the choice for cheer much easier. I hope that if you don't already do that, that you start today.
Happy choosing and cheering!
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